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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28831911">Hope</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/GallavichGeek13/pseuds/GallavichGeek13'>GallavichGeek13</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A New Beginning [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shameless (US)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bipolar Ian Gallagher, Bottom Mickey Milkovich, Cum Play, Domestic Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich, Fluff, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Married Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich, Parents Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich, Past Child Abuse, Rimming, Sex Toys, Smut, Top Ian Gallagher, Uncle Mickey Milkovich, s11 AU</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 13:08:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>55,474</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28831911</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/GallavichGeek13/pseuds/GallavichGeek13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Following the events of Terry's death, Ian and Mickey have now moved into their own apartment and are ready to start a family of their own. Realising the process and changes they will need to make, will they be successful in creating the life they've always wanted?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A New Beginning [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2046839</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>89</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>241</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Next Step</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Thank you for patiently waiting for this fic. 'Hope' is the sequel to my story 'The Truth'. If you haven't read it yet, you can still continue, however, a few moments in this chapter may leave you with some questions. Otherwise a brief outline will be at the end notes.</p><p>I made sure to do a lot of research for this story, wanting to make sure I understood the process and got the laws correct.</p><p>A BIG THANK YOU to Emily. I appreciate having you to motivate me when I'm stuck and to read over my wordy paragraphs. Love you girl!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/><p>“Ah, fuck!”</p><p>Ian turns in the kitchen as he hears Mickey’s cursing coming all the way from their bedroom.</p><p>“For fuck sake.”</p><p>Walking towards Mickey’s voice, Ian doesn’t get far before his husband is walking towards Ian, head down while trying to tie his bowtie.</p><p>“Seriously, how the fuck do you tie these things? I swear it wasn’t this hard when I wore one at our wedding.”</p><p>Ian smirks and takes an end in each hand. He starts to fold the bowtie as he did on their wedding day.</p><p>“That’s because <em>I</em> did it for you.”</p><p>“See, I knew marrying you would be good for something.” They both let out a chuckle.</p><p>Since moving into their own apartment, calmness has fallen between them. They still have their disagreements, what couple doesn’t, but they understand one another in a way they never did before. It’s hard to explain. Mickey figures it has a lot to do with Terry’s death, the freedom he has to just <em>be, </em>now that he is gone. The worry of having to look over his shoulder, making sure no one is going to jump him or catch him off guard no longer being an issue.</p><p>Ian notices the way Mickey smiles more, preens at the little touches Ian gives him any chance he can get. A hand on the shoulder. A squeeze of his neck. Holding his hand wherever and whenever he can. Ian loves touching Mickey, always has, and getting married shifted something inside Mickey. He's opened up, allows himself to be touched affectionately. However, after Terry, Ian was the one who needed those little touches now, more than ever, and he knew Mickey realised that. He understands what Ian needs, and those little touches are his way of showing him that he’s safe and that he’s loved.</p><p>Mickey looks into Ian’s eyes as he ties his bowtie. Mickey gets that twinkle in his eye as he watches his husband. It’s like deja vu, the way Ian’s smile is soft and tender. Mickey feels calm while in the presence of his husband. He thinks back to that moment, the discussion that feels like a lifetime ago when Ian was last tying up his bowtie.</p><p>
  <em>“I wouldn’t mind a kid or two, though.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Well, there’s plenty of strays wandering around the neighbourhood. I’m sure we can pick one up for cheap.</em>
</p><p>So much has changed since that day. So many obstacles and life-changing situations that have put things in a whole new perspective for them. He wasn’t lying to Ian when he said he’d be happy to have kids, but he was scared. <em>Was,</em> being the past tense. Now it’s all just a waiting game.</p><p>“Done.” Ian takes a step back to look at his handy work.</p><p>“See, this is the problem though.”</p><p>Mickey looks down at his navy blue suit jacket and slacks. His white button-down shirt and black bowtie all in place. He has yet to put on his shoes but everything else seems to be in order.</p><p>“What? What’s wrong?”</p><p>“You’re all dressed up and all I want to do is rip it off your body and fuck you over the kitchen counter.”</p><p>Mickey cocks his right eyebrow and takes a step forward, pushing his body into Ian’s.</p><p>“Is that so, Mr. Gallagher.”</p><p>“Damn straight. Not every day I get to see my husband in a suit.”</p><p>“The straight and narrow upper class look getting you all hot?”</p><p>“No. It’s more my South Side tattooed husband that’s inside the suit that’s doing it for me.”</p><p>Mickey looks down and runs his eyes over Ian’s body. He is wearing a simple black suit, a maroon button-down shirt and a black tie. Running his hand along Ian’s tie, he gently pulls at it, bringing Ian down to his level so they can crash their lips together.</p><p>It’s heated, the hunger in them both evident from the way their tongues battle for dominance. Ian puts his hand on the back on Mickeys neck to pull him in closer, making sure there is no space left between them. Mickey bits Ian’s bottom lip, a moan slipping from Ian’s mouth.</p><p>“How much time do we have?” Mickey doesn’t even pull away as he asks the question. Breathing the words into Ian’s mouth between kisses.</p><p>“Not long enough.”</p><p>“Few minutes late won’t hurt.”</p><p>“You’re the best man, Mick.”</p><p>They stop kissing. Foreheads touching as they catch their breath.</p><p>“What do we have time for then?”</p><p>Ian pulls back, smirking as he walks Mickey backwards till his legs hit the back of their couch, now giving Mickey something to hold onto. Ian drops to his knees, keeping eye contact as he unbuckles Mickey's belt and pulls his slacks down. The second Mickey’s boxers are around his knees, he sighs at the relief. He is rock hard. Back in the day he never would have thought kissing someone, <em>kissing Ian</em>, could do this to his body.</p><p>Ian doesn’t break eye contact. Not when he cups Mickey's balls, giving them a small squeeze. Not when he opens his mouth and slaps the tip of Mickey’s dick against his tongue, tasting the precum that drips out from him. It’s dirty. Pornographic. Mickey moans at the sight.</p><p>“Fuck, Ian.”</p><p>Ian’s tongue licks at Mickey’s slit and his knees go weak from the sensation. One hand in Ian’s hair while the other grasps the back of the couch for support, he watches with hunger in his eyes.</p><p>Ian loves Mickey’s cock. It’s not as long as his, but it’s thicker. The weight of it in his mouth makes him salivate. Mickey's taste being his favourite thing in the world, nothing can compare to the sweet flavour that drips out of him. Watching his husband slowly falling apart from his teasing, he grasps the base of Mickey's dick and takes him into his mouth. Mickey hits the back of Ian’s throat but Ian doesn’t care. He loves it. Nothing gets him off more than Mickey fucking his throat raw. He swivels his tongue around in his mouth, the sensation causing Mickey to pull tighter at Ian's hair, saliva dripping from his mouth as he chokes on Mickey’s dick.</p><p>Eyes still locked onto one another, Ian removes both his hands, placing them behind his back, and waits. Mickey knows. Without saying anything, Ian's actions are him telling Mickey what he wants. He is giving Mickey permission to fuck his mouth till he comes. Using Ian for his own pleasure. </p><p>Not saying another word, Mickey begins to thrust. Slow at first, basking in the sensation of his cock in something wet and tight.</p><p>“Fuck, I love your mouth.”</p><p>He begins to pick up the pass.</p><p>“That’s it. You know how to take, don’t you.”</p><p>Mickey never thought he’d be the guy who enjoys dirty talk, but when Ian praises him, tells him how much of a slut he is and how good he can take Ian’s dick, the words intensify his arousal and gives him an orgasm he can feel all the way down to his toes. He knows Ian is enjoying the change in power, getting off from Mickey being in control and using Ian’s body like a sex doll.</p><p>He’s getting close. Mickey pulls all the way out, only leaving his tip on the edge of Ian’s tongue. He lets go of the couch, grabbing himself, Mickey guides the tip of his dick around Ian’s lips, the mix of precum and saliva glistening against the swollen pink skin. He pushing back into Ian’s mouth, cutting the air supply from his lungs, hitting the back of his throat with every thrust.</p><p>“I’m coming. And you’re going to swallow every-last-drop. FUCK!”</p><p>Ian moans around Mickey’s dick. The vibration is what tips Mickey over. Both hands in Ian’s hair as he curls over from his release. He can feel Ian’s throat swallowing around him as he drinks every last drop of his cum.</p><p>“Fuck. Ian. Oh shit!”</p><p>It takes a few seconds to catch his breath. Mickey straightens, uncurling his body from his husband's. Ian slowly pulls off. Aware of how sensitive Mickey is feeling, he carefully laps at the tip of his dick like a lollipop, making sure he took every last drop, just like his husband demanded he does.</p><p>Still on his knees and looking at Mickey's crystal blue eyes, he waits for further instructions.</p><p>“C’mere”</p><p>Mickey grabs at Ian’s collar and pulls him to his feet. Their mouths clashing as Mickey tastes himself on Ian’s tongue. Mickey loves nothing more than knowing he is on Ian’s lips, owning every part of him. It’s enough to get him hard again. Still a little out of breath he pulls back.</p><p>“Damn. I should wear suits more often.”</p><p>Ian pulls Mickey’s pants up for him and tucks his husband back into his boxes, buckling up his pants and tucking his shirt back into his waistband.</p><p>“Time to repay the favour, Firecrotch.”</p><p>“Maybe next time. We’re going to be late.”</p><p>Ian gives Mickey a quick kiss to his lips and heads towards the bathroom to fix his sex tousled hair. As he walks towards their bedroom, his eyes glance towards the spare room. The door is still closed. He hasn’t been able to open it for the last few months. The thought of stepping inside breaks a small part of him that hasn’t fully healed yet. Mickey turns around and see’s Ian quickly eye off the door before turning the corner for their bathroom.</p><p>Mickey’s heart sinks. His afterglow slipping away. He offered to empty the room for Ian while he's at work, but he acts like it’s fine. That it’s no big deal leaving it as it is. But he knows Ian, he knows his husband. That room is the last reminder, so it stays intact, locked up, until Ian is ready.</p><p>Mickey puts his shoes on, grabs his keys from the counter along with the signed contracts to renew their lease for another twelve months. Their real estate agent is on the way, so they figured they could swing by and drop it off.</p><p>Ian walks back out, a smile on his face and looking like every man's wet dream. Mickey smiles back at him and wonders, once again, how did he get so fucking lucky.</p><p>“Ready?”</p><p>“Let’s do this.”</p><p>They grab their phones and head out the door, locking it behind them.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <b>12 months earlier.</b> </span>
</p><p>Ian smiles at his husband.</p><p>“Holy shit. We just agreed on starting a family.”</p><p>Mickey can’t help but smile back from the joy he can see on his husband's face.</p><p>“Yes, we did.” He chuckles.</p><p>Ian rolls on top of Mickey, caging him in as he pushes himself up.</p><p>“We should probably get a start on things then. Could take a while.”</p><p>“Pretty sure I can’t get pregnant, but if you’d like to pound my ass over and over again, I’m happy to see if we can’t make things happen.”</p><p>Ian sits up, legs on either side of Mickey’s waist, and gently punches him in the stomach.</p><p>“Fuck off, you know what I mean.”</p><p>Mickey’s laughing at his own joke but he nods his head.</p><p>“I mean we have to decide if we are going to adopt, which means interviews and making sure we are qualified. Do we adopt a newborn or a kid? Then there is surrogacy. You're sperm, my sperm. An egg from someone we know or do we go full stranger that’s in the system who has sold their eggs. Do we get someone we know to be the carrier or-”</p><p>“Ian, Ian, hey. Slow down.”</p><p>Mickey places his hands on Ian’s thighs and rubs them gently.</p><p>“All very important questions but we don’t have to work them out right this second. One step at a time,okay.”</p><p>“Yeah. Yeah okay.” Ian looks down. His heart racing from the excitement.</p><p>“We’ll work it out together. I promise. Weigh up all our options. But first, we need to go pick up Mandy, otherwise, we won’t be alive to raise any future kid.”</p><p>“Sure we don’t have time to go one more round?”</p><p>Ian grinds into Mickey. Both their dicks start to swell from the friction.</p><p>“Fuck it. Bitch can wait. We’re celebrating after all.”</p><p>Mickey reaches up and cups Ian’s face, pulling him back down to his level. This kiss is different than before. It’s slow and romantic. It says more than any words ever could. Mickey always struggles with his words, but sex with Ian, it’s like he is an open book and Ian is the only one who knows how to read him. Every feeling. Every emotion. In that moment, Mickey belongs to Ian in every way. That’s how powerful their connection is. It’s why they could never walk away.</p><p>Ian clenches his thighs against Mickey’s hip, rolling his body into his. With Mickey’s body caught in the clasp of his husband, their bodies instinctively respond to the movement. His weight now pushing down on Mickey, pinning him to the bed. Mickey takes control by deepening the kiss.</p><p>Mickey doesn’t know how he went so long without kissing Ian. The sensation alone sends a shiver down his spine. Ian’s taste sends him wild, his body craving for more. It’s getting messy. Salvia spreading across their face as the hunger drives them to devour one another. They're both getting hard. The foreplay rousing them.</p><p>“How do you want me?” Mickey whispers the words against Ian’s lips.</p><p>“Ride me. Show me how well you can take it.”</p><p>Mickey flips them, taking control by putting himself back on top, Ian laying beneath him. Mickey sits up, breaking the kiss so he can reach for the lube from the bedside table. Squirting enough on his fingers, he sits up on his knees, giving himself enough room to work himself open. Stretching himself with his fingers, Mickey slowly bounces his thighs, riding his fingers as if they were Ian’s dick.</p><p>“Fuck, Mickey. It’s so sexy watching you finger fuck yourself. Working yourself open for me.”</p><p>“Feels so good. Love it when you watch me.”</p><p>Ian begins to stroke himself. A moan escapes his lips as Mickey tilts his head back and bits his bottom lip.</p><p>“Fuck. I’m ready. Get in me.”</p><p>Ian stops touching himself and puts his hands behind his head. He watches as Mickey grasps his dick and positions it at his entrance. He doesn’t know where to look. At the way Mickey’s ass engulfs around him, stretching open and taking every inch he has to offer. Or his husband’s face. The way his eyes close in satisfaction at feeling full. Claimed.</p><p>“Jesus Christ.”</p><p>“Feels so good Mick. So tight.”</p><p>Ian bottoms out. Mickey moans Ian’s name and it sends a shiver throughout Ian’s body.</p><p>“Take your time.”</p><p>Ian moves his hands from behind his head and places them on either side of Mickey’s hips. He gives him a slight squeeze, wanting nothing more than to dig his nails into his flesh, leaving masks everywhere on Mickey’s body. Ian’s touch is enough to get Mickey moving. He starts off slow, wanting to tease his husband by building up the sensation. He rocks his hips, not once lifting himself off of Ian, simply moving so Ian’s dick rubs every inch of his walls. Ian wanted Mickey to ride him, so he is going to put on a show. He leans his body back, one hand on Ian’s knee cap while the other is gripping Ian’s wrist that’s holding onto his hip. He raises his knees, squatting back down and then;</p><p>“Fuck! Ian!” Ian hits his prostate. Mickey decides going slow is overrated.</p><p>Ian grips Mickey’s hips a little tighter as his husband begins to push up, using his thick thighs to lift himself.</p><p>“Looks so fucking good. Don’t stop.”</p><p>“Wasn’t fucking planning to - Oh fuck!”</p><p>Mickey doesn’t know what to do with his hands. He wants to put them everywhere. On himself, on Ian. He lets go of Ian’s wrist and reaches for his dick but Ian pushes it away.</p><p>“No. I want to see you come untouched. I want my dick to be the only thing that gets you off.”</p><p>Mickey loves when Ian gives him orders. The submissive side of him preens at knowing he can give up control, something he could never do in his day to day life. Mickey sits up, placing his hands on top of Ian’s, willing himself to hold them there so he doesn’t touch himself as he bounces on his husband's dick like a pogo stick.</p><p>“That’s it.” Ian plants his feet onto the mattress so Mickey can lean against his legs.</p><p>The new position allows Ian to take full control. He thrusts into Mickey, using his legs to push while Mickey rolls his hips. Ian sees the sweat dripping down Mickey’s torso. He wants to lick it up, taste it. He knows what he’d love to taste more.</p><p>“I’m close.” Mickey whimpers the words. Ian constantly ramming into his prostate has sent him to the edge quicker than expected.</p><p>“Me too.” Ian takes his hands off Mickey’s hips, proud to know there will be bruises there tomorrow. He cups Mickey’s ass, one cheek in each hand, and squeezes. He lifts Mickey, bringing him a little closer. Curling his chest forward, Ian opens his mouth, wrapping his lips around Mickey's dick.</p><p>“HOLY SHIT! IAN!”</p><p>Mickey is coming down the back of Ian’s throat. The shock of Ian’s warm wet mouth wrapping around his dick knocks him over the edge, the pounding in his ass never missing a beat.</p><p>“Fuck! Fuck!”</p><p>Ian pulls off of Mickey’s dick, cum dripping down the side of his mouth.</p><p>“Mickey.” He pushes up one more time and spills inside of his husband’s tight ass. He can feel the way Mickey clenches around his dick, milking him for all he has.</p><p>Neither of them attempt to move. Ian's still hard inside Mickey, cum slowly dripping out, he knows Mickey doesn’t have the strength to get up. Instead, Ian puts his hands on either side of Mickey’s waist and gently rolls them to the side. Mickey’s head hits the pillow beside him, curling into Ian.</p><p>“Hey. You good?”</p><p>“Yeah. That was just- intense.”</p><p>Ian smiles. He can feel himself going soft. Gently pulling out, Mickey groans at the loss of Ian being inside him. Mickey opens his eyes and notices his cum still on the corner of Ian’s mouth. Using his thumb, Mickey wipes it away, bringing his thumb to his own lips and sucking it clean.</p><p>“How bout I drive while you take a nap.”</p><p>“Drive?”</p><p>“To pick up Mandy.”</p><p>“Shit. I totally forgot about that.”</p><p>Ian chuckles, pleased that he fucked his husband senseless.</p><p>“We better get going. The wrath of Mandy is not something we should mess with.”</p><p>“I told you. She always has the worst fucking timing.”</p><p>"I’ll get us the cloth."</p><p>“No. Leave it.” Mickey blushes. After all these years, admitting to sexual desires and kinks that turn him on still embarrass him. Ian’s cum slowly dripping out of him being one of them.</p><p>Ian smiles and leaves it at that. He leans forward, placing a kiss on his husband's forehead, and gets up to wipe himself down.</p><p>“You know. It’s nice to be able to be as loud as we want without your family hearing us.”</p><p>“Please. When have people being in the house stopped you from being loud.”</p><p>“Yeah, you’re right. Fuck em.”</p><p>They both laugh as they finish getting dressed.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ian asked Debbie if he could borrow the car to get Mandy, thankfully she is still on strike so it was available for them to use. They arrive at the prison, no sign of Mandy. Mickey lets out a sigh of relief.</p><p>“Thank fuck it always takes them forever to get the release papers in order. She would have had my balls if she had been waiting on us.”</p><p>“You wanted to go another round.”</p><p>“Sure. Blame it on me. If I recall, your dick was begging to be in my ass.”</p><p>“Worth it.”</p><p>Mickey cocks an eyebrow. Ten years. Ten fucking years of having sex with the same person and it still hasn’t gotten old. Mickey doesn’t think he could ever get over having sex with Ian. Nothing and no one has ever made Mickey feel the way Ian does. Maybe it’s because emotions are involved or because sometimes they fuck while other times they make love. Either way, it makes Mickey feel alive and whole and loved in a way no booze, drug, or person has ever been able to make him feel.</p><p>He sees the gates to the prison open and spots Mandy walking out. He gets out of the car, leaning against the door so she can see which vehicle to approach.</p><p>“So, you a lesbian now or were you able to hold off from sex for a whole month?”</p><p>Mandy gives Mickey the finger, using her other hand to punch him in the arm.</p><p>“Bet you’d love that.”</p><p>“What? Fuck no. Lover of cock and only cock.”</p><p>“Then why’d I always have to send you that lesbian porn in juvie?”</p><p>“Used it to trade. That shit was like gold in there.”</p><p>They embrace each other for a hug, separating as they hear the car door open. Ian is walking towards Mandy as she pulls out of her brother's hold.</p><p>“Good to have you back on this side of the gate, Mands.”</p><p>“Guess I’m officially a Milkovich now that I’ve done time.”</p><p>They all chuckle and get back into the car. It feels odd laughing about prison time, but what else can they do? Mandy saved them that night. She risked her future so they could have one. Mickey smiles as he remembers that he actually <em>has</em> a future. He has an apartment, a husband, and the joy of starting a family with Ian. He turns to his husband, smiles, and puts his hand in his.</p><p>“So how’s the new place?”</p><p>“It’s perfect, Mandy. Thank you.”</p><p>“Do I want to know how you were able to get it for us so fucking cheap?”</p><p>“Let’s just say it was either that or the owner would be leaving prison in a body bag.”</p><p>Mickey slowly turns around to face his sister in the back seat, confusion written on his face. Mandy shrugs and gives him nothing else. He doesn’t need to know that it was Mandy who <em>saved</em> her from leaving in a body bag. She has a reputation now, doesn’t matter how she got it, it still counts.</p><p>Ian pulls up to the Gallagher house. They decide to drop in and pick up the rest of their belongings before heading back to the apartment. This way they can use the car to transport whatever they have left.</p><p>Walking through the door, Debbie looks up from the couch where she is watching cartoons with Franny.</p><p>“I hear congratulations are in order.”</p><p>Ian freezes.</p><p>“What? What for?” Ian frantically wonders how Debbie could know already.</p><p>“The apartment? Mickey told me a week or so ago. Been having to keep it a secret from you this whole time.”</p><p>“Oh, right. Yes.”</p><p>“Hold on, do you not like it?” Confusion written all over Debbie’s face from Ian's reaction when she congratulated him.</p><p>“No, no, I love it. Sorry, I'm just, distracted.”</p><p>Mickey walks past and nudges Ian in the ribs. He gives him this look that reminds him to chill out. But it’s hard. All Ian has ever wanted since he was 17 was to start a family with Mickey. They’re finally on their way to turning that dream into their reality. He just wants to share the news and his excitement with his family, but it’s too soon. Things need to be discussed, decided on. It’s not so simple for them. A straight couple can just decide to get pregnant when they're ready to start a family. But for Ian and Mickey, it’s going to be more clinical. Paperwork, tests, interviews, all these things will be involved. And even then, someone could still turn around and say, “sorry, you can’t have a family.” Ian realises that once again, it’s just another challenge same-sex couples are faced with.</p><p>“Anyway, we just came by to pick up the rest of our stuff and then take Mandy to our apartment for the night.</p><p>“Can I come?” Franny looks up from watching TV and turns to her Uncle Mickey.</p><p>“Not tonight, Firefly. But I promise we will have you over soon.”</p><p>“For a sleepover?” Ian doesn’t know when it happened, but when Franny stopped pronouncing her R’s like a W, a part of him broke because it meant she was growing up. But the other part of him was so proud. He can’t wait to have moments like that with Mickey and their own child.</p><p>“Sure. As long as your mum says that’s okay.” Franny turns to Debbie with hope in her eyes.</p><p>“Hey, that’s cool with me. Not cheap getting a babysitter.”</p><p>Mandy takes a seat in the living room and hangs out with Debbie while the boys collect their things.</p><p>“So, how was prison?”</p><p>“Nothing like the movies, that’s for sure.”</p><p>Ian and Mickey head up to their room. Mandy’s voice slowly fading as they ascend the stairs.</p><p>Mickey grabs some duffle bags from under their bed and Ian starts to empty the draws and cupboards.</p><p>“Where exactly is Mandy going to sleep tonight? We only have one bed.”</p><p>Mickey stops packing.</p><p>“Shit. I didn’t actually think of that.”</p><p>Ian laughs.</p><p>“Why don’t we drive past some thrift shops?" Mickey suggests. "See if we can find ourselves a couch.”</p><p>“And if we don’t find one?</p><p>“Fuck it, she can sleep on the floor. Sure it can’t be any worse than those shitty prison mattresses they give us.”</p><p>Ian knows Mandy will probably end up bitching to Mickey about sleeping on the floor after a month in prison, not stopping until he agrees to let her share the bed with them. However, the possibility of that happening doesn’t alter his mood. Ian can see the excitement on his husband's face. They’re finally moving out of the Gallagher house. It’s a strange feeling but at the same time, it feels right. It’s time. Mickey isn’t going to let anything stand in the way of them spending the night in their own apartment, even if he has to share a bed with his sister and husband. Ian loves that.</p><p>Mickey walks to the bedside table, grabs the few books Ian has there, along with the lube and wipes they keep for easy access. Ian reaches the top shelf of the cupboard and grabs their box of toys. He lifts the lid, checking to make sure everything is accounted for and they haven’t left anything behind that they may have forgotten to put back in the box.</p><p>Ian gets an idea.</p><p>“Hey, Mick.”</p><p>Mickey turns to Ian and sees him holding up their ball gag with one finger, a look of mischief on his face.</p><p>“I’m thinking this might come in handy tonight, don’t you?”</p><p>“Up for some more celebrating are ya?” Mickey cocks his eyebrow and bits his lower lip.</p><p>“Mickey, what I have in mind is nothing compared to this morning.”</p><p>Ian can see Mickey swallow as he kneels on the bed, shuffling across to his husband.</p><p>“I’m going to slowly, open you up, with my tongue. Inch-by-inch. My tongue is going to be the only thing I use to fuck you, Mickey. I want to hear you beg me to let you come.”</p><p>Ian’s voice is low, husky. He speaks slowly to make sure Mickey understands every single word as if he is giving instructions</p><p>“I want my tongue to be the <em>only</em> thing that gets you off, Mickey.”</p><p>Ian reaches the other side of the bed. He is level with Mickey, their height difference gone.</p><p>“I don’t think that’s something Mandy wants to hear now, do you?”</p><p>“Fuck, Ian.” Mickey moans the words, he can feel how hard he is and Ian hasn’t even touched him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The gift was a joke from Kevin and V for their wedding. It was accompanied with a very graphic story of the time Kevin tried one while V used a strap on with him. Something neither of them needed to hear, or picture.</p><p>One night after a long day at work, Mickey came home and noticed Ian had cleaned everything up in their room, packing away things they were saving to use for their own place. The ball gag was on the bed, Mickey eyeing it suspiciously.</p><p>“Oh, hey. I figured I’d just throw it out. Doubt we’d ever use it.”</p><p>Mickey picks it up and feels the weight of the ball in his hand. His dick twitches.</p><p>“You ah, ever used, one of these?”</p><p>Ian stops moving around and faces Mickey.</p><p>“No. Have you?”</p><p>Mickey shakes his head.</p><p>“I’ve wondered about it though.”</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>Ian pushes off from the dresser he was leaning against and walks towards his husband.</p><p>“I mean, yeah. Not with just <em>anyone</em> but, you know.”</p><p>“Have you thought of using one with me?”</p><p>Mickey’s head is still looking down at the ball gag in his hand, his eyes flicking up to look at Ian.</p><p>“You’re the <em>only</em> one I’d trust to use one with.”</p><p>“Do you imagine using it on me, or me using it on you?”</p><p>“Me. I picture myself being the one to wear it.”</p><p>Ian nods his head. They’re not shy about using toys in the bedroom, although usually, they use them when one of them can’t perform. Either way, Ian is always the one who takes charge, who’s in control. Mickey may be a power bottom, but Ian notices the way Mickey preens at being praised, at being able to <em>let go</em>.</p><p>Ian places his hands on Mickey’s shoulders, guiding him to sit on the bed. Mickey shives at the touch, keeping his head down, avoiding all eye contact with his husband.</p><p>“This is going to prevent you from being able to speak, so, I think we should set some rules.”</p><p>Mickey nods his head. Ian’s surprised. He expected Mickey to give him some cocky comment about using his dick to shut him up or comparing himself to a docile housewife if he isn’t able to speak. The way Mickey won’t make eye contact with him gives Ian the impression that he’s shy. His loud mouth, cocky husband nowhere in sight. Then it hits him. This is subspace. Mickey is fully letting go. No longer wanting to think, he <em>wants</em> Ian to tell him what to do, he <em>needs</em> it. Ian saw a lot of this behaviour in the backrooms of the Fairy Tale. He never took part in it, however, it fascinated him, watching the way other men gave themselves completely to their partner. Ian lowers his voice, making it sound deeper. In charge.</p><p>“Look at me.”</p><p>Mickey lifts his head and looks Ian in the eye.</p><p>“If you need to stop at any time, give me three taps on the arm or the thigh.”</p><p>Mickey stays silent.</p><p>“Answer me, so I know you understand.”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Yes what?”</p><p>“Yes, Sir.”</p><p>They never agreed on a name, however hearing Mickey call him Sir makes his dick throb.</p><p>“If it’s too intense, two taps. Again, either on my arm or thigh.”</p><p>“Yes, Sir.”</p><p>“You’re not allowed to touch yourself unless I tell you.”</p><p>“Yes, Sir”</p><p>“And you are <em>only</em> allowed to touch me when I tell you to.”</p><p>“Yes, Sir.”</p><p>Ian thinks he's covered the most important parts when playing a scene. Considering it’s their first time, he figures if he has to break character, it won’t be so bad.</p><p>“Stand up.”</p><p>Without hesitating, Mickey obeys Ian’s command.</p><p>Ian closes the bedroom door. He turns back around and Mickey is still standing by the bed, head bowed to the floor.</p><p>“Strip.” Ian feels like he is back in ROTC, sprouting commands to his fellow cadets.</p><p>He watches Mickey pull his shirt over his head and throw it to the side of their room.</p><p>“Slower.”</p><p>Mickey’s hands freeze, only for a second, then he reaches for his jeans and slowly pops the button and pulls down the zip.</p><p>“Look at me.”</p><p>Mickey lifts his head. No longer looking shy, he keeps eye contact with Ian as his pushes his jeans down his legs and steps out of them. Mickey puts his hand on the waistband of his boxers and does the same thing.</p><p>Ian can see how calm he looks. By now, Mickey would be making some smart ass comment about getting on him or asking if he was just going to stand there and look. But Ian is in control, so he can. He can stand there and admire his husband as he stands in the middle of their room, half-hard and waiting.</p><p>He walks towards Mickey, placing his hand on his chin and leaning in for a kiss. It’s soft, tender. No tongue. The kiss wasn’t about that. It was a promise. It was Ian promising to take care of Mickey in any way he needs.</p><p>He moves his lips from Mickey’s mouth to his ear and whispers;</p><p>“You’re beautiful. Every inch of you.”</p><p>Mickey closes his eyes at the words, his shoulders drop, Ian noticing how the praise relaxes Mickey’s body. He takes his index finger and runs it down Mickey’s body. He starts at his lips, brushing against the plump pink skin. Moving across his jaw and down his neck. A sigh escaping Mickey’s lips.</p><p>Ian’s finger stops at Mickey’s tattoo.</p><p>“You know, the first time I saw this tattoo, I knew at that moment I would always be yours.”</p><p>Ian gently traces every letter.</p><p>“That’s all I wanted to be, Mickey. I wanted to belong to you, all of you. And have you belong to me. I was messed up. Broken. Trying to let you go. But that tattoo. It said more than words ever could.”</p><p>He moves his finger around Mickey’s shoulder, walking behind him so he can follow where his finger leads. Standing fulling behind his husband, Ian’s finger traces down Mickey’s spine. He feels the way Mickey shivers under his touch. Ian stops at his tail bone and leans into Mickey’s ear.</p><p>“Now I’m going to remind you who <em>you</em> belong to.”</p><p>Ian steps away and picks up the ball gag. Standing behind Mickey, averting his voice back to a deeper tone, he makes sure he remembers the rules.</p><p>“How many taps if you want to stop?”</p><p>“Three, Sir.”</p><p>“How many taps if it’s too intense?”</p><p>“Two, Sir.”</p><p>Ian lifts the gag over Mickey's head, placing it in front of his mouth and waiting for him to bite down on the ball. Ian then buckles the belt.</p><p>“Turn around.”</p><p>Mickey obeys. His lips are stretched across the ball. It’s a beginner's size. Mickey’s jaw has been held open wider than this while taking Ian’s dick in his mouth, but he still considers that this is new for him, for both of them. He doesn’t want to leave it on Mickey for too long. His jaw needs to get used to the sensation.</p><p>“On the bed. Hands and knees.”</p><p>Ian strips as he watches Mickey crawl onto their bed. The red ball and black leather stand out against Mickey’s pale skin.</p><p>Fully naked, Ian takes the lube from the bedside table and stands at the end of the bed.</p><p>“Look at you. On display for me. Waiting. Begging to be claimed.”</p><p>Ian cups Mickey’s ass cheek and gives it a squeeze.</p><p>“This ass is mine.” He slaps at it. A red handprint shining on porcelain white skin.</p><p>He cups the other cheek and spreads Mickey open. His hole is pink and ripe for the taking. Bending down, he runs his tongue from Mickey’s balls, up till he reaches his hole. He swirls his tongue around, teasing Mickey’s entrance before pushing in, using his tongue to fuck Mickey open.</p><p>A muffled moan escapes Mickey’s mouth at the sudden sensation of Ian’s tongue inside of him. Ian can feel the way Mickey is pushing back onto Ian, wanting more.</p><p>“You taste so good.”</p><p>He swivels his tongue around, using it to stretch his husband open. Mickey’s body shakes from the pleasure. Watching his husband slowly come undone under his touch has Ian’s dick leaking. Pulling back, saliva hanging from his chin, he pushes a dry finger inside, using the excess salvia left from his mouth as lubrication.</p><p>“Good boy. Look at how you opened up for me, stretching yourself open so you can take my dick.”</p><p>Ian pushes in one more finger just to be sure, scissoring him open while twisting his wrist to the left and right. Precum drips from Mickey’s dick, groans escaping his mouth. Ian pulls his fingers out and lubes himself up.</p><p>Without warning, he pushes all the way in, bottoming out in one swift motion.</p><p>Mickey lets out a cry. The sensation overwhelming as his body didn’t get a chance to adjust to the intrusion. He moans, hoping Ian will register the sounds as him begging for more. More movement. More pressure. Ian grips Mickey’s hips and pulls him back, slamming his ass against his pelvis, pushing him off just as quickly so nothing but his tip is left inside him. He repeats the motion, sweat droplets forming on Mickey’s spine.</p><p>“Fuck, Mickey. So good. Look at you. You were made to take my dick. Only you.”</p><p>Mickey closes his eyes at the praise. It washes over him, calming every nerve in his body, allowing him to enjoy the feeling of Ian filling him up.</p><p>Ian kneels on the bed, wrapping his arms around Mickey’s torso, he lifts his chest and sits him in his lap. The new angle is intense, Ian deep enough to hit his prostate on every thrust. Mickey tilts his head back, resting it on Ian’s shoulder. He wants to come but he remembers the rules. No touching. No coming without permission.</p><p>“Not yet. I know you want to. I can feel it, the way you are clenching around me. Just hold on.”</p><p>Mickey is leaking against his chest. He is achingly hard, his body begging for the release.</p><p>“I’m going to fill you up. Make sure you know you’re mine. Only mine.”</p><p>Mickey whimpers. His jaw burns from being held open for so long. The tension from biting into the ball when he normally bits at his lip, is causing it to ache. He doesn’t need to tap out though. Not yet. The feeling is merely adding to his pleasure. Ian is still hitting his prostate with every thrust. Blunt nails digging into Mickey’s chest, red scratches littered across his torso. For once these are markings Mickey is proud to have on his body.</p><p>“Next time. I’m going to plug you after I come so it doesn’t drip out.”</p><p>Yes. That is exactly what Mickey wants. The words tip Mickey over the edge. He can’t hold on. He is about to tap Ian on the thigh three times when he hears those three little words whisper against his ear.</p><p>“Come for me.”</p><p>Mickey feels Ian coat the inside of his ass with cum as his own orgasm rips through him. It’s too much. The intensity of his release mixed with Ian still fully inside him. Cum squirts onto his chest and drips down his dick as it’s left untouched. Whimpered cries escape his mouth, muffled from the gag.</p><p>“Shhh. That’s it baby. It’s okay. I’ve got you.”</p><p>The sounds leaving Mickey’s mouth make Ian’s dick twitch to life. He knows he needs time to recover before he can come again, but the sounds arouse him in a way he never knew were possible.</p><p>Ian adjusts their position so they are laying on their sides. Still inside Mickey, Ian wraps his arm around his waist and pulls him into his chest. Laying soft kisses over his shoulder, his neck, and back. He can feel Mickey’s body slowly drift off. Subspace taking over.</p><p>“I’m so proud of you. You did so well. Followed all the rules to please me.”</p><p>He moves his arm from his waist so he can unbuckle the ball gag. He gently lifts it off Mickey’s head, easing it from his lips. He watches Mickey breathe in a lung full of air. Ian gently massages Mickey’s jaw, using his index and pointer finger to rub soothing circles. Feeling himself going soft, Ian slowly pulls out, admiring his cum dripping out of his husband.</p><p>“You okay?” The silence in the room is relaxing. It feels like he is disturbing the peace by talking, but he has to make sure Mickey is alright.</p><p>“Never better.” Mickey’s voice is soft, quiet. The way it sounds first thing in the morning when he hasn’t quite woken up yet. Ian runs his fingers through Mickey’s hair, wanting to keep him relaxed and calm.</p><p>“You called me baby.” Ian freezes, only for a moment, but the way Mickey phrased it, he doesn’t sound angry, just, surprised.</p><p>“You called me sir.” Mickey doesn’t respond.</p><p>“Did you not like it? Me, calling you that.” This was all for Mickey after all. It was all a way for him to wind down, escape. Get out of his head and enjoy something without having to think. The last thing Ian wants is to have ruined the experience over a pet name,</p><p>“I mean, I didn’t hate it. But don’t go calling me that shit around anybody else.”</p><p>There he is. His Mickey is back. Subspace has cleared and his smartass has returned. Ian smiles.</p><p>“Wouldn’t dream of it, baby.”</p><p>Mickey groans. He knows he’ll regret allowing Ian to use such a name but in the privacy of their bedroom, it isn’t so bad.</p><p>“We should probably thank Kev and V for the gift.”</p><p>“Fuck that. If anyone asks, we threw it out.”</p><p>Ian laughs into this husband's neck.</p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>“Love you too.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mickey is brought back to reality. The memory fresh in his mind, craving to have that feeling wash over him again. His lips are close to Ian’s, his skin ghosting over his, teasing him. Leaning forward to seal their lips together, Ian quickly jumps off the bed and heads back towards the wardrobe, putting the ball gag back in the box and packing it all away.</p><p>“The fuck?”</p><p>Mickey feels like someone just threw a bucket of cold water on him.</p><p>“What?” Ian has a cocky smirk plastered on his face. He knows what he did to Mickey and he loves every second of it.</p><p>“You are such a cock tease.”</p><p>Ian shrugs.</p><p>“Come on. We have a couch to go buy. If we missed anything, we can come back and get it.”</p><p>Ian picks up one of the duffle bags, walks out of the room, and heads downstairs to his sisters. Mickey stays back. He needs to wait for his dick to get the message that it isn’t about to get any action before he walks downstairs. He takes a moment to look around. It suddenly hits him that he isn’t the same kid he was eleven years ago. They’ve always lived together in some way or another. Whether it was at the Milkovich house, trying to make a good situation out of the shit show they were given with Svetlana. The time in prison, which was no picnic, but their cell was still theirs. It was where they got to share hidden moments of love and passion when the lights went out, laying together as they discuss their past, present, and future. Then they have this room, where they came home from that shitty hotel as husband and husband.</p><p>This is it. This is the next step. They’re moving into a place to call their own. No ghosts or demons haunting the rooms. No family walking in as they please or strangers using the house as an escape. The memories they make from here on out will be ones they will cherish forever. Mickey picks up the other bag, turns the light off, and gives the room one final look. Saying goodbye has never felt so easy as it did in that moment.</p><p>*</p><p>“Are either of you fuck heads going to answer that?”</p><p>Ian and Mickey look up from the kitchen. They’d been putting some pots and pans away that they found at the thrift store. $15 for the whole box, which had more in it than they’ll probably ever use in it.</p><p>“Wait, that’s our door?” Mickey thought the buzzing was coming from Mandy’s phone since she had been spending hours catching up on what she had missed.</p><p>“Yes! You have a buzzer to get into the apartment now, shit head.”</p><p>Mickey looks at Ian.</p><p>“Well, aren’t we fancy? No more people just barging in whenever they fucking feel like it.”</p><p>Ian wraps his arms around Mickey’s waist.</p><p>“Means we can walk around naked and not have to worry about anyone walking in on us.” He kisses behind Mickey's ear, feeling the way Mickey smiles at the touch.</p><p>“Fine. I’ll get it.” Mandy calls out. She heads towards their door to answer the intercom.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Delivery for Gallagher.”</p><p>“Yeah, come up.”</p><p>Mandy buzzes them in. They were able to find two couches, both looking like they had never been used. One even folded out, giving Mandy a place to sleep tonight. The store had a coffee table they could fit between the couches and a TV that was able to access Netflix.</p><p>“Why did we never think of hitting the North Side thrift shops? It was like a goldmine in there.”</p><p>“That’s because North Siders need to upgrade their shit the minute something better comes out. Waste of money if you ask me.”</p><p>A knock interrupts Mickey’s rant. Mandy opens the door, faced with two overweight men in blue overalls trying to lift one of the couches through the door.</p><p>“Just made it in the elevator. Otherwise, we would have had to carry them up the stairs.”</p><p>“Isn’t that what we’re paying ya to do?”</p><p>Ian tightens his hold on Mickey’s waist. A reminder to play nice so the delivery guys don’t “accidentally” put a hole in their new couch as they carry it up for them.</p><p>Twenty minutes later, the couches are in place. The delivery guys are dripping in sweat and not so subtly checking out Mandy’s ass as Mickey signs the paper working stating they received their items. He slams the door behind them, happy to get them out before they stink the place up with their BO.</p><p>Mickey looks back into the living room and sees the furniture set up.</p><p>“Not bad. The colour works really well with the natural light that bay wind brings in.”</p><p>“I’m starving. What’re we doing for food?”</p><p>“Chinese? I saw a place not too far from us.”</p><p>“Works for me.”</p><p>“Whatever, I’m easy.”</p><p> </p><p>The food arrives thirty minutes later and they all take a seat on the couch while they eat straight from the boxes. They take turns eating from each box, passing it around so they can share what the other ordered.</p><p>“So, what’s the plan now that you’re out?”</p><p>“Well, I’m ah, actually going to move back.”</p><p>Mickey and Ian stop eating and look up at Mandy.</p><p>“You’re PO cool with that?”</p><p>“Yeah. They are going to transfer me to a PO back home. Since my previous job doesn’t break any of the guidelines and they are happy to take me back. I figured it might be best.”</p><p>“Wait, you’re going back to selling dildos?”</p><p>Mandy rolls her eyes.</p><p>“Again, asshole. Not <em>just</em> dildos. I’m able to continue working in my position, I just can’t travel to the manufacturers and I have to talk to the test groups over the phone.”</p><p>“You seem to have worked this all out pretty quickly for someone that only got released six hours ago.”</p><p>Mickey is happy for his sister. A month in the slammer and here she is, able to pick her life back up right where she left it. Right before Terry fucked it up. But Mickey is just starting to get used to having his sister back. He likes having her around to joke with and talk to.</p><p>“I um, was keeping in contact with Ben while I was locked up.”</p><p>“Ben? Who the fuck is Ben?”</p><p>“My boyfriend, douchebag. The guy that gave me the job.”</p><p>“How the fuck was I suppose to know that? You never told us his name.”</p><p>“So he is okay with what happened?” Ian, once again feeling like the mediator between these two.</p><p>“Yeah. He knew what Terry was like. When I explained the situation, what he did...” Mandy catches the way Ian looks down at his food, acting like it’s the most interesting thing in the room. Mickey puts his hand on Ian’s knee and gives him a reassuring squeeze.</p><p>“He said my position will be waiting when I get out.”</p><p>Ian and Mickey nod.</p><p>“When do you leave?”</p><p>“Tomorrow.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“PO says I have to start work straight away. So I need to get back, meet my new PO up there and start logging my hours.”</p><p>They understand. Ian and Mickey still have fourteen months left of their probation, but they aren’t ready to say goodbye to Mandy, not yet.</p><p>“We’re going to miss you, Mands. It’s been nice having you around again.”</p><p>“Just, promise me I’m not going to miss any more life-changing moments. I’m still pissed I missed your wedding.”</p><p> </p><p>Mandy catches the way Ian and Mickey steal glances at each other while trying not to rouse suspicion.</p><p>“What? What the fuck is going on? I know that look.”</p><p>“Nothin’”</p><p>Mickey begins to pick at his food.</p><p>“Mick,” Ian says his name like a plea. He knows it’s too soon but, it’s Mandy.</p><p>“Ian, it’s too soon. We don’t even know yet.”</p><p>“Jesus. You make it sound like you’re waiting to see if you’re pregnant.”</p><p>Mandy catches how Ian and Mickey tense at the word.</p><p>“HOLY FUCK IS SOMEONE PREGNANT?”</p><p>“WHAT?! Fuck! Of course not, bitch.”</p><p>“I don’t mean either of you, I mean, did you get someone-”</p><p>“No! Oh my god. See, this is why I said we should wait.”</p><p>Mickey puts his food on the table. Ian follows and then takes Mickey’s hand in his. He gives it a reassuring squeeze. Mickey breaths out, giving his husband a small nod, allowing him to share their decision.</p><p>“Mickey and I, have decided to start a family together.”</p><p>“OH MY GOD!”</p><p>“But, before you can get all excited, we still haven’t discussed our options. We haven’t decided on the best way to go about it so until then, mouth shut. Don’t say anything, don’t ask anything, just, wait.”</p><p>Mandy makes the zip and lock motion with her hand against her mouth. Her smile is so bright. Mickey can’t remember that last time he saw such joy on his sister's face. He can see how she is bursting with energy at the news, he can feel the excitement radiating off of her.</p><p>Suddenly feeling the same joy as his sister and what this decision means, he can’t help but smile at her.</p><p>“Okay, you can say <em>one</em> thing.”</p><p>Mandy squeals and jumps off the couch so she can lean over and engulf Mickey into her arms.</p><p>“I am so happy for you Mick. I’m so proud of how far you have come and that little kid is going to be so fucking lucky to have you as a dad.” A tear falls from Mickey’s eye. He doesn’t want to draw attention to it so he swipes it away as if he has an itch that needs to be scratched. Sitting on her brother's lap, arms still around his neck, she turns to Ian.</p><p>“You too Ian. You were born to be a dad. This kid will be loved and cared for in a way none of us ever were.”</p><p>Mickey, still holding onto Ian’s hand, gives it another squeeze. He needs his husband's strength to help him stay strong and not break down. It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours since he told Ian he’s ready to start a family. He accepts that his fears are no longer something that's holding him back because they no longer exist.</p><p>“Alright. I need a beer.”</p><p>Mickey pushes Mandy off his lap, stands up, and heads to the kitchen. The distance from his overwhelming sister calming his nerves. He pops the top of his beer and takes a chug. Watching his husband and sister laughing on the couch, his mind drifts to one day having a little son or daughter laughing along with them. He can picture Ian having a tickle fight with them, their little screams of laughter filling the apartment. Mandy playing peek-a-boo from behind the couch while Ian sneaks up behind and pretends to catch them.</p><p>Growing up, Mickey pictured his future being either in jail or running drug deals like Terry till he died from a deal gone wrong or an overdose. Not once did he ever image his future being something he could actually be proud of. Something he wants out of life. Something that makes him happy. Ian makes him happy. He is the only thing in Mickey’s life that ever did. And when Ian is happy, Mickey is on top of the world.</p><p>*</p><p>It’s been a week since Mandy left to move back home. Ian has started walking past the thrift shop on the way home from work each day, just to see if there is anything new there that could be of any use to them. He found some new sheets that were still in the packaging. Two stools that were perfect to put on the opposite side of their kitchen island, meaning they could skip buying a dining table which would only take up the limited floor space they had available to them. He picked up some glassware and a dinner set that had the smallest chip in one of the plates, meaning the owners decided it was no longer acceptable to eat from.</p><p>Since returning back to work, they were lucky to get their schedules almost to what they were before Mandy arrived for her visit. They work together Monday and Tuesday, Wednesday Mickey has the night shift while Ian has the day. Thursday they swap and Friday they work the day shift together. It's always a struggle working a night and day shift back to back but it's the only way they could keep their weekends off.</p><p>Tonight Mickey has the nightshift. Ian gets home and is sad to see Mickey has already left for work. Sometimes they are lucky to cross paths and give a quick kiss hello before the other has to walk out the door. He looks towards their kitchen counter, noticing a note sitting on the bench.</p><p>
  <em>Dinner is in the fridge. Need to keep up your strength so I can ride you when I get home.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- M</em>
</p><p>Ian chuckles. He grabs the food and puts it in the microwave. They dipped into their wedding money to buy a second-hand laptop off craigslist and a few appliances. The rest they decided to put away for when they start a family since they had enough saved from their job to cover the costs of the apartment. They really did owe Mandy for this place.</p><p>Sitting at the counter with his stir fry, Ian boots up their laptop, deciding it’s time to do some research.</p><p>The first thing he searches for is surrogacy in Illinois, Chicago. Every site he clicks into, the one thing that stands out to him is the cost. Anywhere from $100,000 or more to find a surrogate and that's not even including the egg donor. He realises that's an option they will never be able to consider.</p><p>Ian takes a bite of his food and contemplates whether Debbie would consider being a surrogate for them. They could buy the egg, implant it in Debs, and save them a shit ton of money since she is a relative.</p><p>He then looks up the cost of an egg donor. Between $15,000 - $25,000. Ian lets out a breath. He cradles his head in his hands. It’s starting to dawn on Ian that due to how much the cost will set them back, their options are really becoming limited. Ian thinks back to their wedding day, to the first conversation they ever shared about the idea of children.</p><p>
  <em>“You want kids?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Hell no. With your mental problems and my family’s comfort with committing homicides?”</em>
</p><p>Ian picks up his bowl and shovels some more food into his mouth. Would it be so bad if the kid wasn’t related to either himself or Mickey? So many children are born into the world, already needing someone to love and care for them. He thinks back to when Karen Jackson and Lip were looking for people to adopt. He puts his now-empty bowl to the side and searches adoption, Illinois Chicago.</p><p>He finds a website that breaks down all their available options. Two tick the boxes for what Ian is looking for.</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Agency Adoption or Private Adoption.</em> </strong>
</p><p>Ian looks further into the two options.</p><p> </p><p><b><em>Agency adoption:</em> </b> <em>The child or person being adopted is given to a licensed agency, and that agency has the authority to place the individual with adopting parents.</em></p><p><b> <em>Private adoption: </em></b><em>Unique to newborns, the child being adopted is not related to either of the adopting parents. As soon as the baby is born, he or she is given to the adopting parent(s). All of the parties’ identities are kept confidential.</em> </p><p>Ian scrolls further down to the section regarding cost. They would be expected to pay for the birth mother's medical expenses, the cost nowhere near what the other options were required from them. Excitement starts to course through him. There is one more thing he needs to search before he can even consider telling Mickey about their options.</p><p>He goes to the search bar and types in:</p><p>
  <strong> <em>I was convicted of a felony, can I adopt a child?</em> </strong>
</p><p>The first link has an answer from a reputable adoptive agency.</p><p>
  <strong> <span class="u">FAQ’s</span> </strong>
</p><p>
  <b>I was convicted of a felony in the past - am I unable to adopt a child?</b>
</p><p>
  <em>If you were convicted of a felony, it doesn’t necessarily mean you cannot adopt. Your home study social worker will speak with you about the felony, when and why it happened, what you learned from that event, and how you’ve taken steps to correct any past mistakes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Whether you are deemed eligible to adopt largely relies on the nature of the felony. If the felony involves child abuse or neglect, domestic violence, child pornography or sexual assault, it is highly unlikely that your home study will be approved and that you will be eligible to adopt a child.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Ian sits up and lets the information sink in. Thank fuck these agencies actually look into who wants to adopt. There are so many people in the world that shouldn’t be parents or allowed anywhere near children. It makes him sick to his stomach that some people fall through the cracks, harming innocent children for their own twisted pleasure. He moves past the negatives and looks at the positives. He and Mickey don’t fall under that category. Arson for himself and Mickey charged as an informant on the Mexican Cartel, with his prior charge for attempted murder wiped clean.</p><p>Zoned out, Ian sits there as he processes all the information. He's brought back to reality as he hears their front door open. He jumps at the sudden sound, breaking the silence he's peacefully sitting in.</p><p>“Hey lover. How was dinner?”</p><p>Mickey walks towards Ian and gives him a kiss hello. He takes Ian’s empty bowl, walking it to the sink to wash with his own dinner dishes he brought back from work.</p><p>“Great. What are you doing home so early?”</p><p>“Julio wasn’t looking as he was slicing one of the boxes open, ended up slicing off a finger with a Stanley knife. Blood was everywhere. Had to shut down to clean up. Some shit about an OH&amp;S rule. It’s like none of them have seen a little blood before.”</p><p>“Shit. Is he okay?”</p><p>“Fuck if I know. Minute they said we could leave I hightailed out of there.”</p><p>Ian chuckles at his husband, noticing how his own laugh brings a smile to Mickey’s face.</p><p>“Whatcha doin’ anyway?”</p><p>“Grab a beer. Let’s sit.”</p><p>Ian picks up the laptop and takes it over to the couch. Listening to his husband's instructions, Mickey grabs himself a drink and follows behind him.</p><p>“This sounds serious.”</p><p>“It is. But in a good way, I promise.”</p><p>Ian takes one corner of the couch. He sits with his back against the armrest, stretching his legs out towards his husband. Mickey follows suit, their feet intertwining, giving them both some space, while letting the small contact keep them grounded.</p><p>“I’ve been doing some research.”</p><p>“About?”</p><p>“What’s available to us, with starting a family.”</p><p>Mickey smiles at the way Ian blushes. Mickey told Ian he is ready. He shouldn’t feel shy about bringing the subject up, but the look on his face says otherwise.</p><p>“Itching to get started, hey.” Mickey wiggles his eyebrows, hoping it'll lighten the mood. Ian looks stressed and this isn’t meant to be stressful. It'll be a process. Mickey knows they’ll have hurdles to jump and hoops to go through, but it’s all leading them to a joyous finish line.</p><p>“Alright. So what did you find?”</p><p>“Financially, it seems our only option would be to adopt a child either privately or through an agent.”</p><p>Mickey takes a swig from his beer.</p><p>“Okay. What does that mean?”</p><p>“It means if we go through an agency, they have already had the child in their care before we get approved to adopt them. Privately, the minute the child is born, they become ours. No contact with the birth parents.”</p><p>Mickey sits up a little more, bringing one knee towards his chest so he can rest his arm on it.</p><p>“Are we qualified for either? I mean, with our record and shit.”</p><p>“Neither of our felonies involve the harm of a child. So, it doesn’t mean we’ll be approved, but it also doesn’t mean it will be held against us.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>“Okay?”</p><p>“Yeah, okay. I told you I’m ready Ian. Whichever you prefer.” He reaches his hand out and places it on Ian’s knee.</p><p>“I think I’d prefer to go with a private adoption, you know. Any kid in the system deserves a fighting chance, but a newborn? The minute they’re brought into the world they’re already getting pushed to the side. I want to be able to help just one of those kids have a life worth living. Worth enjoying. I want them to know that someone wants them and will love them forever.”</p><p>“You know people put their kids up for adoption for all different reasons, right? It’s not always because they don’t want em.”</p><p>“I know. But when they're kids, they don’t see it that way.”</p><p>Mickey puts his beer on the table. He crawls towards Ian. Mickey lays on top of him, caging Ian in as he rests a hand on either side of his face.</p><p>“I'm not going to lie, part of me pictured us having a little redhead with freckles, just like you, running around. But you're right. If anyone knows the system, it's us. We understand what kind of life that kid would have if they grew up like that, and if we can help at least one of them, then I think we should.”</p><p>Ian grasps Mickey’s face and kisses him. It’s just lips, but it says it all. It says thank you for understanding, for doing this. Thank you for being my husband. Thank you for being mine. Ian pulls back, leaning his forehead against Mickey’s.</p><p>“We're going to have a baby.” The words sound so foreign to him, Ian almost laughs as he says them.</p><p>“Well, technically no. But-”</p><p>Ian gently pushes Mickey off. He laughs as he sees Ian roll his eyes.</p><p>“You know what I mean, dickhead.”</p><p>Ian can’t believe that he is here. Sitting on a couch with his husband after agreeing on a plan for adoption. If only his sixteen-year-old self could see him now. While he was struggling to hide his feelings from a closeted thug, he’d tell himself to hold out. To wait for him. It’s going to take time for him to accept things, but he is so worth the wait. Nothing will ever even come close to comparing to him.</p><p>Mickey smiles back at Ian. In this world of darkness that he has grown up in, he is one of the lucky few that found the light. Ian. <em>His</em> Ian. He is the shining beacon that makes everything better. Makes life worth living. Ian inspires him to want plans for the future and build a life that they can share with their family and children. He’s ready.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The Truth Summary - Terry kidnaps Ian where he beats him and does some other horrible things that I won’t mention due to TW. Mickey goes to Terry, prepared to kill him for hurting Ian, However, in the end it is Mandy who saves Ian and Mickey saves by shooting Terry and ending his life. Mandy serves 1 month in prison and Mickey, now feeling free &amp; safe, is ready to start a family after learning that Yev is actually Terry’s son. </p><p>The journey begins. I promise this fic won't be as angsty as The Truth, but it's still going to have some moments. It was also my first time writing Dom/Sub, so I hope I did it justice.<br/>Kudos and Comments are much appreciated.</p><p>If you'd like to follow my socials<br/>Instagram: @gallavich.geek (video edits)<br/>Twitter: @halewolf24</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Waiting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The Adoption Process is one big waiting game. However, every step brings them one step closer.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for all your comments. BIG thank you to Emily for your help as always, along with your positive motivation. And thank you to everyone who is reading this story.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/><p>“I still can’t believe they are having their wedding at the Bamboo Lotus.” Mickey grumbles, walking inside the venue and seeing it decorated similarly to how he had envisioned his and Ian’s wedding.</p><p>“They were just lucky that after the fire, the venue offered a discount on weddings to help bring in more business. Otherwise, it wouldn’t have been here.”</p><p>“So? This place looks better than it did <em>before</em> the fire and we got stuck with the fucking Polish Doll.”</p><p>“You saying you didn’t like our wedding, Mick?”</p><p>“No. I’m saying I wanted it to be the best and now it’s not.”</p><p>Ian takes Mickey’s hand and stands in front of his husband, making sure he has his full attention.</p><p>“Our wedding <em>is</em> the best because it was the day I got to declare in front of all our family and friends, that you will forever be mine.”</p><p>A slight blush appears on Mickey’s cheeks.</p><p>“Jesus. Could you be any gayer, Gallagher?”</p><p>“I mean, I could fuck you in the disabled toilets. That’s pretty gay.”</p><p>“Hmmm, I like the sound of that.”</p><p>He stretches up on his toes, reaching up to Ian for a kiss.</p><p>“I hate to break up this love fest since weddings bring it out in everyone, but the groom is freaking out.”</p><p>Mickey turns towards Lip. These days Mickey feels like he can never get a moment to just be with his husband. Someone or something is always interrupting them.</p><p>“How is that my problem?”</p><p>“Um, because you’re the Best Man.”</p><p>“For fuck sake. Fine. Lead the way.”</p><p>Ian can’t help but smile. Mickey would never admit it, but Kevin is pretty much his best friend. Although he acts like being his Best Man has been a burden, he was kind of honored when Kevin asked.</p><p>Tami walks into the venue with Fred walking beside her. He’s in a cute little suit, white converse shoes and Ian’s heart melts at the sight. He kneels down and opens his arms for his nephew.</p><p>“Hey, Freddie.”</p><p>Freddie lets go of Tami’s hand and waddles over to his Uncle Ian, crashing into him as he wraps his little arms around his neck. Ian scoops Fred up from under his legs so he can hold him in his arms, before standing back up to be level with Tami.</p><p>“Gah, you’re getting so big, little man.”</p><p>“Don’t say that around Lip. He’s been hounding for us to have a second.”</p><p>“I mean, by the time one of us was Fred’s age, Monica was already popping out another. It’s just what we know.”</p><p>“And now we know better.”</p><p>Mickey is walking back to Ian, noticing how he is holding Fred in his arms. He sneaks up behind Ian’s shoulder, screaming boo as he pops up to catch Fred by surprise. The giggles that leave Fred’s mouth warm Ian’s heart. Watching Mickey play around, joking with their nephew, it’s like a shot of serotonin.</p><p>“I guess. Lip has always wanted a big family though. We all have.” Ian continues his conversation with Tami while Mickey plays peek a boo with Fred.</p><p>“Yeah, we’ll see if you feel the same way when you have a kid of your own.”</p><p>Ian tenses. Tami's comment hits him like an arrow to his heart. She notices the way Ian flinches at her words, instantly regretting them ever leaving her mouth.</p><p>“Shit. I didn’t mean-”</p><p>“It’s fine. Really.”</p><p>Mickey places his hand on Ian’s lower back. The touch alone relaxes his husband, but he can still see the hurt on Ian’s face. He rubs soothing circles into his back, reminding him that he is not alone in all this. He wants to bite off Tami’s head for speaking so recklessly but it’s not the time, nor the place. Besides, causing a scene would only make matters worse and he doesn’t want that for Ian.</p><p>“I better go get him to Lip. Can’t have the ring bearer late for the ceremony.”</p><p>Tami lifts Fred from Ian’s arms and scurries off towards the alter.</p><p>Mickey places both his hands on Ian’s hips as he moves around, positioning himself in front of his husband. Mickey notices that Ian is trying to avoid eye contact, so he carefully takes a hand and places it on Ian’s cheek.</p><p>“Hey, you okay?”</p><p>Ian just nods, too scared to speak. Any words that leave his mouth will open the flood gates and let out every emotion he’s been burying deep inside himself. There is nothing left to say. It would all just be a repeat of every conversation he and Mickey have shared. But it still hurts. All Tami did was remind Ian of the wound that has slowly been healing inside of him, her words instantly ripping it back open so blood can pour out and leave him feeling empty. Today is supposed to be a day for love and joy. Anything Ian says will suck those emotions out of the room like a vampire sucking their victim dry. He doesn’t want to take away that feeling, especially since he could use a bit of both in his life right now. He needs the distraction of the wedding to help him get through the day. Tomorrow he’ll find something else to keep his mind busy, just like he’s been doing. Every. Single. Day.</p><p>So, Ian coughs. His cue to change the subject.</p><p>“How’s Kev?”</p><p>“A mess. So I gave him a shot of whiskey. Told him he's technically married V before and even if that was fake, they’ve been ghetto married for as long as we’ve been together.</p><p>Mickey watches the soft smile appear on Ian’s face, in turn, putting a smile on his own face.</p><p>“Some very wise words there. I can see why Kev honored you the position of Best Man.”</p><p>“You mean it wasn’t for my love of wedding planning and eye for aesthetics?”</p><p>“And you thought what <em>I </em>said was gay.”</p><p>“I mean, I do love having your dick in my ass. I’d say based on that, I’m as gay as they come.”</p><p>“And I do know how to make you come.”</p><p>Soft music starts to play, signaling for all the guests to take a seat and for the bridal party to get into position.</p><p>“Guess that’s my cue. Better go get the groom.”</p><p>“I’ll be watching.”</p><p>“You’re meant to watch the bride walk down the aisle, not me.”</p><p>“No one will ever compare to you walking down the aisle, Mick.”</p><p>“So gay.” Mickey laughs as he lets go of Ian’s waist and walks towards the room's outback so he can retrieve Kevin.</p><p>“You love it.”</p><p>“I definitely do.”</p><p>Ian watches his man walk away, eyes roaming his body, basking in the way the navy suit accentuates all of Mickey’s best features. He heads towards the front rows and takes a seat next to Debbie and Franny.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <b>9 months earlier.</b> </span>
</p><p>Mickey is ready to tie Ian to the bed, and not in the way that would get his dick hard. It has only been a month since they sat down and filled out the application forms for the adoption. That’s thirty days of Ian checking his phone every hour to see if he’s received a message or a missed call. Thirty days of Ian looking at his emails and junk folder, making sure they didn’t require further information that could be holding up their application. Throughout all that, Mickey has sat back and watched his husband bounce off the walls from his anxious energy because Ian Gallagher, does not like waiting.</p><p>Mickey isn’t concerned about it being manic behaviour. What he <em>is</em> concerned about, is how this will affect Ian if things go south. This is really their <em>only</em> option. Before filling out the forms, they discussed further whether they’d rather wait, save up some more money and try using a donor or a surrogate so they could have a child with <em>their</em> DNA. Ian’s Bipolar genetics was no longer something he feared passing on. Lip. Debbie. They all have the possibility of passing the gene onto Franny or Fred, but that never stopped them. If the day came where either of them was faced with that situation, they would know how to handle it. They’d help their child get through it, just like they helped Ian.</p><p>Ian explains this to Mickey, letting him know that the fears of passing on a disease he used to hate himself for - that made him feel broken and a burden on those he loves - is no longer something he sees as a setback in life. Mickey listens, the whole time thinking how he’d do anything to help their child if they were ever faced with the diagnosis of being Bipolar, just like he did with Ian. Mickey takes his husband's hand, reassuring him that if that were to happen, at least they’d see the signs early. They could catch it before anything serious happened.</p><p>As they kept discussing their options, Mickey came to the realization that he never actually considered if he wanted a child of his own. Part of him figured he’d accidentally get some chick pregnant one-day while he was fucking around, trying to hide who he really was, but the possibility of that being his future changed after he came out. It changed again when he got married, and then changed once more when he learned the truth about Yevgeny. He wouldn’t be opposed to the idea, so if that’s what Ian wanted, then he’d do it. However, the thought of a little version of Ian running around made Mickey’s heart speed up and fill his body with a sense of pride and joy. He took that as a sign that if surrogacy was the way to go, then using Ian’s sperm was the option he would prefer.</p><p>They sat there in silence, considering everything the other had said.</p><p>“I think we should still adopt.”</p><p>Mickey saw no hesitation on his husband's face as the words left Ian's mouth.</p><p>“Bringing our own child into the world would be amazing. But helping one that’s already in need of a home? We could make them feel loved and wanted. I want to help a child have a life we never had. Not have them end up being just another name in the system, bouncing around from place to place.”</p><p>Mickey smiles, leaning forward he places a kiss on Ian’s lips.</p><p>“Let’s do it then.”</p><p> </p><p>So over the weekend, they filled out all the paperwork. It was mostly straight forward but the questions were endless. It was to be expected considering they’re asking someone to choose them to be the parents to their unborn child.</p><p>The questions consisted of:</p><p><b><em>When are you ready to start the adoption process?</em></b><em> -</em> Ian clicked “Today” without even looking at the other options in the drop-down box.</p><p><b><em>Gender preference</em></b> - Ian has enough experience from raising his siblings to feel comfortable with either a boy or a girl. He didn’t want to be specific, limiting their options any more than they already were. Mickey however felt a little more reserved. Mandy is only a year younger than him and although they are close, they never had the type of relationship the Gallaghers have. She never came to him with questions or spoke to him about female issues. He figures at least a son wouldn’t be much different from growing up with brothers and knowing his own body. But either way, he trusts Ian and knows they’d make it work. Ian selected "no preference" and moved on.</p><p><b><em>Employment Information</em></b> - Ian was happy he could at least write down that they both had stable, reliable jobs.</p><p><b><em>About yourself</em></b><em> - Age, Hobbies, Religion</em>. It took them both a moment to find suitable answers for Mickey. They figured the shooting range wasn’t an appropriate hobby so they wrote down drawing and art. Ian mentioned his love for physical activity and reading.</p><p><b><em>Education</em></b> - Thankfully they’d both ended up getting their GED. Whether that was acceptable or not, they’d soon find out.</p><p><b><em>Financial Summary</em></b> - They took a moment to calculate their earnings and expenses, this section was also wanting to know whether they were renting or a homeowner. It surprised them both when they saw their final figure was greater than they expected. With what they had put aside from their wedding and the money they were saving on rent thanks to Mandy’s connection for their apartment, they realised that they had been putting away more in their savings account than they’d expected once bills and expenses were deducted.</p><p><b><em>Children</em></b> - "None." Mickey couldn’t help but think about how selfish it was, for people who already had kids, to still want to adopt more. The thought got pushed aside though when he realized that if they wanted their kid to have siblings to grow up with as he and Ian have, then they’d have to do this process all over again. They’d have to answer “yes” when asked if they already had kids, which made him understand that it wasn’t such a selfish question after all.</p><p><b><em>Personal History</em></b> - Ian’s finger hovers over the box that asked if either of them had been under psychiatric care. He didn’t even consider that his diagnosis could be a red flag for adopting. He was so concerned about their felony, which was another box they had to check, that it completely slipped his mind that this could be what sets them back. He looks at the other boxes.Been arrested - check. Dishonorable discharge from the Army - Check.He takes a moment. Mickey places his hand on top of Ian’s to give it a reassuring squeeze.</p><p>“You were an EMT for all those years and <em>technically</em> anyone with a mental illness is not permitted to work in that industry. Well, the same goes for being a parent. They can’t hold it against you. They’ll have questions. They’ll look at your file and make sure you’re managing, but that doesn’t mean it’ll all be over. It doesn’t mean they’ll say no.”</p><p>Ian ticks the box. The application wants an explanation of all the sections they ticked. Taking the laptop from the coffee table, Ian rests it on his lap, sits back against the couch, and begins typing while Mickey prepares them dinner.</p><p>He starts explaining how his mother has a mental illness and he grew up monitoring her moods while trying to care for her at such a young age. Going into detail about why he enlisted into the Army and the triggers that caused him to have his first psychotic episode at the age of seventeen. Ian has spoken to many therapists over the years, some by choice, otherwise by force. But writing it down like this was somewhat freeing. He wanted to be honest, put everything on the table so they could see and understand the full picture. The agency would no doubt be going through their court records and if they google 'Gay Jesus', videos of him are still online. At least this way, it felt like he had control over his life story and not have someone piecing it together and deciding the story themselves.</p><p>Ian was finishing up as he feels the couch dip beside him. Mickey has two bowls containing pasta and meatballs ready for them to eat. He has become quite the chef since moving out of the Gallagher house, always taking those free recipe cards they hand out at the grocery store when they are trying to sell a particular product.</p><p>“How’d you go?”</p><p>He hands a bowl to Ian, listening as Ian reads what he wrote out loud to Mickey.</p><p>“That sounds good. So, what’s the next question.”</p><p>Ian scrolls down. He takes a bite of his food and speaks with a full mouth.</p><p>“A brief reason for wanting to adopt.”</p><p>They take a moment to think, shoving food into their mouth before it goes cold.</p><p>“Give it here.” Mickey makes the grabby motion with his hands, indicating that he wants the laptop. He starts typing away. Ian reading over his should.</p><p>
  <em>My husband and I grew up in the South Side. We lived a life where we had to find a way to survive every day. We didn’t know if we’d have food to eat, a place to sleep, or if DCFS was gonna just show up and take us away. The only thing that we valued in our lives were our families. I lived my life having to hide from a homophobic father. My husband was left to fend for himself and take care of his siblings while his father drank away all they had to survive. Together, we decided that adoption would allow us to help at least one child not have to live a life like we did. We want them to know they have someone who will love them, take care of them, and want them. We want a family of our own because we know family is everything. We made it out of our messed up childhoods. We turned our lives around and made something of ourselves. We want to be able to give that to a child of our own.</em>
</p><p>Ian leans his forehead against the side of Mickey’s head, giving him a kiss on the cheek.</p><p>“Perfect.”</p><p>The last three questions were about their home and neighborhood. How they spend their time together and how they think life would change with a child.</p><p>Reading over all their answers to make sure they were precise, the mouse hovered over the button that said <em>Submit Application.</em></p><p>“This is it. You ready?”</p><p>Mickey pushes Ian’s finger down, the screen now displaying the words “Thank you for your application. You will hear from us shortly.”</p><p> </p><p>Well, <em>shortly</em> is now one fucking month later. Mickey has been tempted to call the agency to make sure they actually received the application, but the fear of being told they hadn’t heard anything because they’ve been rejected has prevented him from doing so. They need to go out. Every weekend has been spent in this apartment and Mickey figures Ian could use the distraction. <em>He</em> could use a distraction so he doesn’t end up spiraling with his husband.</p><p>“Let’s go out.”</p><p>Ian keeps wiping down the kitchen island. It’s so clean Mickey can see his own reflection when he looks at it.</p><p>“We could go visit Lip and Freddie, see how they’re going.”</p><p>“They're at a birthday party for Brad’s son.”</p><p>“Okay. What about that bar that plays the live music. The one you’ve been wanting to check out for months.”</p><p>Ian stops cleaning, keeping his eyes on the task at hand.</p><p>“Ian.”</p><p>He looks up and sees the concern in Mickey’s eyes.</p><p>“We <em>will</em> hear from them. The anticipation is killing me just as much as it’s killing you, but we can’t just sit around waiting. Let’s do everything we can while it’s just the two of us. Because when that baby comes home - because we <em>will </em>be bringing them home - we won’t be anything else for a very long time.”</p><p>Ian releases a sigh, dropping the spray and dishcloth onto the bench.</p><p>“You’re right. This is stupid. <em>I’m </em>being stupid. This stuff takes time. Background checks, records need to be looked through and assessed. I’m sure they have hundreds of applications to go through.”</p><p>“Right.”</p><p>“Fuck it. Let’s go while we still have our freedom.”</p><p>Mickey gives his husband a playful smirk. They get changed into jeans, Mickey throwing on a flannel with a black singlet underneath while Ian decides to wear a three quarter sleeve t-shirt that is white with blue sleeves. The way it sticks to Ian’s arms, Mickey is tempted to say fuck the bar and stay home to fuck his husband instead. He figures he can do that when they get home and sticks with his plan to get them out of the house.</p><p> </p><p>From their apartment, it only takes them twenty minutes to walk to the bar, it’s already crowded for 4pm on a Saturday. The place has wine barrels out the front for people to stand around with open windows and stools along the window ledge so people can continue their conversations whether they are inside or out. The band is already on stage. It’s not their type of music but it’s better than that shit with the harps they had to suffer through awhile back.</p><p>Mickey has to lean into Ian’s ear so Ian can hear him speak.</p><p>“Want a drink?”</p><p>“Yeah. Whatever you’re getting.”</p><p>Ian looks around to see if there’s a spare table or barrel they can snatch up. He notices a couple leaving one of the barrels by the corner, the look of lust in their eyes. He figures they won’t be returning anytime soon so he steps in before the empty glasses have been cleared and claims it for himself and Mick.</p><p>The band plays a whole song and is halfway through their second before Mickey returns with two beers.</p><p>“Did you brew it yourself?” Ian feels like he’s screaming but the words just make it to Mickey’s ears.</p><p>“Fucking line goes almost out the door. Apparently it’s two for one for the next hour.”</p><p>“We better drink up then.”</p><p>“Take it easy lightweight. Last thing I want is to carry your giraffe ass home.”</p><p>Ian begins to do a little shuffle to the music. His shoulders moving to the beat while he does a one-two step on the spot. Mickey laughs, giving Ian the finger before picking up his beer and pretending that the band is more interesting than his husband's dancing. Mickey knows Ian can dance. His body has a way of feeling the beat and just moving to the rhythm. This is not that. This looks like a father dancing to embarrass his daughter. Shaking his head, Mickey chuckles and can’t help but join in with his own version of the air guitar and some floss thing he remembers Franny showing him.</p><p>The minute Mickey begins to thrust into the air as he tries to floss, Ian loses it. He steps around the barrel, his hands gripping Mickey’s waist so he can pull him into his chest. Ian's laugh slowly fades as he leans forward to kiss his husband.</p><p>“Thank you.” He whispers against Mickey’s lips.</p><p>“You know me better than I know myself. You knew I needed to get out. Of the apartment. Of my head. You just know.”</p><p>“Of course I know you. You’re my other half.”</p><p>Moving one hand to cup the back of Mickey’s neck. Ian deepens the kiss.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you, everybody. We’re going to take a quick five-minute break and then we’ll be back.”</p><p>The room applause the band as they exit the stage.</p><p>“I better get us some more drinks before that cue goes out the door and down the street.”</p><p>Ian nods, reluctantly letting his husband out of his arms, enjoying the view as he walks away. He checks his phone. It’s so loud inside that he wouldn’t have heard if it did go off. He has a message from Lip that has a photo of Fred in a party hat with cake all across his face. Mandy has sent a message letting them know that a new dildo is about to be released and she’s happy to send them one for free as long as they write an online review giving it five stars, and Debbie sent a reminder about next weeks family dinner. Nothing from the agency, but he doesn’t let it bring him down.</p><p>The room breaks out into applause as the band returns to the stage. He scans the bar trying to see if he can spot Mickey in the crowd.</p><p> </p><p>“Two beers on tap.” In case the bartender didn’t hear his order, Mickey holds up two fingers and then points to the cheapest beer on tap to indicate which one he’s after.</p><p>“Here, let me pay for those.”</p><p>Mickey turns to the voice coming from the left of him. The guy is not much taller than he is, his hair is blonde and styled like Justin Bieber before his balls had dropped and he could reach those high pitch notes. He's wearing a shirt that has more buttons undone than done up and his face screams douchebag.</p><p>“Pretty sure I can afford to pay for my own drinks.” Mickey turns back to the bartender and throws him some cash, letting him keep the change.</p><p>“Never said you couldn’t. I’m Joel.”</p><p>“Does it look like I give a fuck what your name is?”</p><p>“Just figured you’d want to know what name to scream out when I take you home tonight.”</p><p>Mickey turns towards him and raises his eyebrows.</p><p>“That right? Cause from here it looks like the only thing I’d be screaming is how small your dick is and how it doesn’t compare to the nine inches my husband gives me daily.”</p><p>Mickey’s words hit just how he hopes they would. He can see the flash of embarrassment appear on the guy's face as his cheeks turn red and his mouth drops from a cocky smirk to a gaping hole. Mickey watches the Bieber wannabe shake it off, cocking an eyebrow like Mickey’s South Side mouth didn’t throw him off his game.</p><p>“Husband huh. That’s okay. I won’t tell. I’m even happy to share if you are.”</p><p>“We’re not.” Ian’s words come from behind him and are loud enough for everyone around them to hear over the music.</p><p>Ian wraps his arms around Mickey's waist, holding him from behind. Mickey pushes against his husband's body, taking comfort in the way it presses against his back. Mickey takes his left hand and raises it to cup the back of Ian's head, pulling Ian towards his face as he twists his head enough to kiss him. Mickey goes all in. His lips smash against Ian’s, starving for a taste. Ian gives back, his mouth opening, tongue pushing past Mickey’s swollen lips, tasting the beer and all things Mickey.</p><p>Not sure how long the kiss lasted, Mickey’s surprised to see the douchebag still standing there, but he isn’t surprised to see his slack jaw and wide eyes.</p><p>“Ah, you must be-”</p><p>“His husband with the nine-inch dick. And you must be the asshole that can’t take no for an answer.”</p><p>Joel picks up his drink and walks away with his tail between in legs.</p><p>“You know I had it covered.”</p><p>“I know. But <em>you know</em> I don’t like people taking what’s mine.”</p><p>“No one was taking me anywhere, Ian.”</p><p>Ian’s nuzzling at his neck. Leaving small love bites from his ear to his collar bone, breathing in the scent of his husband as he leaves a trail of bruises. Smiling from the sensation, Mickey grabs the beers that are still waiting for them on the bar and spins around so he can hand one to Ian.</p><p>Taking a sip, he feels his phone vibrating in his pocket. He reaches for it and accepts the call, figuring it’s probably Lip letting him know he is now free to hang out.</p><p>“Hello.” Ian feels like he’s yelling down the other end of the line. Now that the partying crowds are starting to make their way in, the volume has gone up a few notches.</p><p>“Hold on, sorry. I can’t hear you. Give me a second.”</p><p>Ian motions to Mickey that he’s stepping outside so he can take the call. He hands his drink over, making his way through the crowd while politely pushing past those that are standing around watching the band play. He gets outside, the fresh air clearing his head. The constant bass has left a ringing in his ears, only noticing it now that he’s outside. Ian suddenly remembers that he has someone waiting for him on the phone.</p><p>“Sorry. Yes, hello. I’m here.”</p><p>“Hello, is this Ian Gallagher?”</p><p>“Yeah?” Anyone calling and ask for him by name always made him a little hesitant.</p><p>“My name is Bree, I’m calling from Family Adoption. We received your application and we are interested in organising a Home Study visit with you and your husband, Mikhailo Gallagher.”</p><p>“Wait, what?”</p><p>“Did you not send us an application in regards to adopting a child?”</p><p>“No. I mean, yes, we did. I’m sorry. Let me start over.” Ian laughs. He hopes it comes across as being excited and not make him seem like he struggles to process information.</p><p>“Yes. Mickey and I sent in our application and we’d be happy to organise a time for you to come out and visit our home.”</p><p>“Excellent.” Her voice sounds delighted. He notes that his confused rumbling doesn’t make her hesitate about their decision.</p><p>“We have availability on Tuesday afternoon around 4pm. Does that work for you?”</p><p>“Absolutely.”</p><p>“Wonderful. I’ll pencil you in. Have a lovely evening, Mr. Gallagher.”</p><p>“Thank you, Bree. Same to you.”</p><p>Ian pulls his phone away from his ear and looks at the screen. He unlocks it, opens the call log, and checks to make sure that the call actually happened and it wasn’t some hallucination.</p><p>“Hey. Been out here for awhile man, everything okay?”</p><p>Ian looks up from his phone when he hears Mickey’s voice. Mickey begins to panic when he sees the look of shock on his husband's face. Skin slightly more pale than usual.</p><p>“Ian, you okay? Who was on the phone?”</p><p>“That was Family Adoption.”</p><p>Mickey’s heart sinks. If the news was good, Ian’s face would be showing a completely different set of emotions. He takes Ian’s hand and gives it a squeeze.</p><p>“We-we got through to the next stage, Mick.”</p><p>“Holy shit! Really?”</p><p>Ian nods his head. Saying it out loud triggers his brain to fully process what happened.</p><p>“Yeah. We have a Home Study scheduled for Tuesday afternoon.”</p><p>Mickey releases Ian’s hand and runs them both down his own face.</p><p>“Jesus Christ. The look on your face made me think we were rejected.”</p><p>Ian rushes forward, clasping Mickey’s face between his hands, leaning forward, and kissing him with more passion than he ever has before. The sensation leaves him feeling dizzy. Already lightheaded from the phone call, the taste of his husband's lips is enough to stop the oxygen from reaching his brain. Ian pulls back. With his forehead resting on Mickey’s, their eyes still closed, they savior the moment, not yet ready to allow reality to burst the bubble they have created for themselves.</p><p>“I love you. So fucking much. I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t in my life.”</p><p>“Lucky for you, you’ll never have to find out.”</p><p>Mickey leans forward and gives Ian another kiss. Lips opening only slightly, keeping it soft and tender. The kiss wasn’t about lust or sex. It was about love and unity.</p><p>“Let’s go home. I want to continue our celebration in private.”</p><p>“I like the sounds of that, Mr. Gallagher.”</p><p>The look of mischief on Ian’s face makes Mickey's dick twitch. Ian begins to walk backwards, motioning for Mickey to follow him. Mickey picks up his pace and suddenly they’re running down the streets towards their apartment. A game of cat and mouse being played between them as they try to catch one another. The occasional grab for an arm or pinch of the ass makes them feel like they’re teenagers again. It’s funny how now, almost ten years later, their lives seem more simple than they did back then.</p><p> </p><p>Ian and Mickey spend all of Sunday in bed - not naked. With the laptop open, Ian finds multiple websites outlining the types of questions they would be asked during a Home Study visit, allowing them to practice their answers. Mickey is surrounded by sheets of paper, scribbled notes on each from everything Ian has thrown at him, along with his own thoughts.</p><p>“I swear it’s easier to get a loan than a kid these days.”</p><p>“You’d want to hope so, Mick. Look at our parents. Adopting shouldn’t be something they just let anybody do.”</p><p>“Good point.”</p><p>“Fuck. I feel like I’m studying for my EMT exams again.”</p><p>Ian sits up, stretching his back after being hunched over the laptop for so long. All the websites indicate that there would be four categories worth of questions, with around six questions in each category. On top of that, their home will be evaluated to make sure it is safe and suitable - something both Ian and Mickey were used to doing with all the visits from DCFS they had growing up. And of course, an evaluation of themselves as individuals. Their behavior, their interaction with each other and with the evaluator.</p><p>“Honestly, if we “study” any more, they’ll think we’re robots when we answer their damn questions.”</p><p>“Did you really have to put study in air quotes”</p><p>Mickey rolls his eyes. He was never a fan of anything that involved homework or studying. It’s why he paid Lip to write his essays and eventually dropped out of school from lack of attendance.</p><p>“For fuck sake. Ian, I love you, but it will be fine. Half these questions we already answered on the application form. They just want to hear it from us and take a look around to make sure we aren’t serial killers or pedophiles.”</p><p>“You can’t swear when they get here.”</p><p>“The fuck?”</p><p>“I mean it. You swear once and I withhold sex for a week.”</p><p>“This kid better be pretty fucking cute.” Mickey grumbles under his breath. It was never his plan to be the loudmouth thug he has the reputation for, but he figures riling Ian up could distract him from the stress of answering these questions.</p><p>Ian looks over and can tell Mickey is joking. He’s holding back a smile and his eyes have this twinkle that shows up every time Mickey starts talking about kids. He pushes everything on the bed to the side, making a clear path so he can crawl towards Mickey. When he reaches him, he straddles his lap and drapes his arms around Mickey’s neck.</p><p>“Of course our kid will be cute. It’s got us as parents.”</p><p>“Did you fail biology Gallagher? Pretty sure it doesn’t work that way.”</p><p>“Shut up, Mick. Still counts.”</p><p>“Not really.” Mickey tilts his head, squinting his eyes to emphasise how everything Ian is saying does not scientifically add up.</p><p>“How about we take a study break, and you can show me how biology works then, hmm.”</p><p>Ian grinds down on Mickey’s dick, feeling the way it’s already responding to the motion.</p><p>“I think that can be arranged. See, I’m an A+ Student in Biology.” Mickey puts his hands on Ian’s waist and flips them so Ian is on his back.</p><p>“Good to know. The last thing I’d want is to fail my exams.”</p><p> </p><p>On Monday, they spend the afternoon cleaning the apartment. Island benches were wiped. Pillows were fluffed. The carpet was vacuumed and the laundry was washed and put away. Mickey’s making sure all their sex toys are hidden in the wardrobe while Ian cleans out the fridge of anything that looks close to expiring.</p><p>“Hey, I was going to eat that for lunch tomorrow.”</p><p>“This Chinese is three days old, Mick. You eat this and the only action your ass will be getting is the shit exploding out of it.”</p><p>Ian’s concerned at the way Mickey is eyeing off the rubbish bin as if he is considering taking it out and eating it still.</p><p>“Did you clean the windows?”</p><p>“Shinny enough for a bird to fly into it because it’s dumb enough to think it’s open.”</p><p>“Dusted?”</p><p>“We don’t have any shelves to dust.”</p><p>“Right.”</p><p>Ian's looking around the apartment. His mind ticking off his mental checklist of everything he knows the evaluator will be analysing.</p><p>“Bathroom?”</p><p>“Toilet and shower are cleaned. Even unclogged the drain from all your ginger hairs that were blocking it.”</p><p>Ian turns to the refrigerator and notices the wedding photo of him and Mickey flipping off the photographer. He takes the magnet off the photo, ready to hide it away when Mickey stops him.</p><p>“Leave it up.”</p><p>“What? No, this is not an appropriate wedding photo to have around the house, Mickey.”</p><p>“Yes, it is.”</p><p>He takes the photo from Ian’s hand and puts it back on the fridge.</p><p>“Our whole story is about overcoming shitty parents and being accepted in the South Side as two gay men. This photo is a fuck you to all of that. It’s us letting the world know that we overcame the hate. That we won.”</p><p>He turns back to Ian after admiring the photo for a few seconds.</p><p>“If they want to judge us because of that, then maybe they aren’t the right people to help us start a family.”</p><p>Ian sighs. Letting out a breath he didn’t realise he was holding, feeling the tension leave his body and a sense of calm take over.</p><p>“You’re right. I’m sorry. I just want everything to be perfect.”</p><p>“Life isn’t perfect. Anyone needing to adopt or having to put their child up for adoption already knows that.”</p><p>Ian rests his forehead on Mickey’s, breathing in his scent and letting it wash over him.</p><p>“You’re right.”</p><p>“Course I am.”</p><p> </p><p>Time feels like it’s moving so slowly on Tuesday. He lifts the boxes from the loading bay to the warehouse, opening them all up to check the product and sort the contents accordingly. Ian looks up to check the time, groaning when he realises only five minutes have passed since he last checked. At 2pm, Mickey is by his side so they can clock out together, ignoring the goodbyes being shouted at them by their colleagues.</p><p>They make it home with just over an hour before their scheduled appointment. They both jump in the shower, the importance of this meeting evident from the way neither of them tries to seduce the other. Hair washed, skin clean and they jump out, styling their hair and brushing their teeth.</p><p>“Why do I feel like we’re getting ready for a first date?”</p><p>“Because this will be the first and <em>only</em> date we ever get. How they see us today will determine their final decision.”</p><p>“So, you’re saying I <em>shouldn't</em> leave the vibrating butt plug in my ass while they’re here?”</p><p>Ian rolls his eyes while gently punching Mickey in the arm. He smiles at the way Mickey laughs at his own joke. He can tell that Mickey is just as nervous as he is right now, if not more. Smartass comments have always been a defense mechanism for Mickey. A way to protect himself from people getting too close. When they first started fucking, he noticed Mickey would act like this whenever Ian tried to get more personal with him. He learned pretty quickly that Mickey was doing this to feel comfortable in situations he wasn’t used to. It’s how he realised Mickey liked him, maybe even loved him. The joke was Mickey’s way of easing the tension and Ian appreciated every minute of it.</p><p>“Probably best if you don’t come right in from of our assessor.” Ian plays along. He could use the distraction and he assumes Mickey could too.</p><p>“You never know, they could be into that kinda thing.”</p><p>“Maybe so, but I don’t like to share.” He slaps Mickey’s ass to emphasis his point.</p><p>Back in the bedroom, they decide to keep it casual. A pair of jeans and a simple t-shirt. It’s neat. It’s them. The buzzer in their apartment goes off. Ian’s hands begin to sweat. He quickly takes their wet towels back into the bathroom while Mickey throws their works clothes in the hamper.</p><p>The buzzer goes off again, Ian practically sprints to their intercom.</p><p>“Hello?”</p><p>“Hi. This is Amanda. I have an appointment with Ian and Mikhailo Gallagher.”</p><p>“Yes. That’s us. I’ll buzz you up.”</p><p>Ian lets go of the intercom and closes his eyes. He takes a deep breath in and out. Mickey’s hand appears on his lower back. He turns to face Mickey.</p><p>“Last chance to swear. Any last words?”</p><p>“For fuck sake, Ian. I know how to contain myself.”</p><p>Mickey takes a step closer, leaning on his toes to reach Ian’s lips and give him a reassuring kiss.</p><p>“I fucking love you, you tall ass mother fucker. And I am ready for whatever this bitch throws at us because I’m a Milkovich and you’re a Gallagher and together we can take on anything.”</p><p>Mickey can feel Ian’s smile against his lips. They kiss. It’s quick, nothing that could get either of them worked up. The knock at their door forces them to separate. Mickey gives Ian a small nod of his head and with that, Ian opens the door, giving his most genuine smile to the blonde woman waiting on the other side.</p><p>“Amanda?”</p><p>The petit blonde looks up from her clipboard and smiles at Ian.</p><p>“Mr. Gallagher, hello.”</p><p>She outstretches her hand and Ian happily gives it a shake.</p><p>“Please, call me Ian. Come on in.”</p><p> </p><p>Amanda steps inside, her eyes already giving the room a quick scan, writing down some notes before Ian has even closed the door behind her. Mickey raises his eyebrows. Her behaviour setting him on edge, concerned that she might be noticing issues already. Mickey figures that’s the only reason why she is writing notes the minute she enters their apartment. The sound of the door closing shut makes her spin around, facing Ian and Mickey.</p><p>“You must be Mikhailo.” Once again offering her hand for Mickey to shake it.</p><p>“Call me Mickey. No one’s called me Mikhailo since I was in the joint ”</p><p><em>Shit. </em>Mickey internally flinches. Ten seconds in and he's already brought up his criminal record. They had to outline all of their history in the application, but he was hoping they could get through some simple pleasantries before they had to discuss their messy history.</p><p>Amanda lets go of Mickey’s hand, giving a polite smile, acting as though the comment hasn’t phased her.</p><p>“Of course, Mickey. If it’s okay with you both, I’d like to take a look around. Then if we could sit down, I have some routine questions that I’d like to ask you both.”</p><p>“Yes, absolutely. Let me give you a tour.” Ian goes to step forward so he can take her around the apartment, stopping when he notices she isn’t following him.</p><p>“Protocol requires that I assess the premises alone. Make sure I’m not pressured to leave a room too quickly or overlook something that you may not want me to find.”</p><p>“Go for it. We hid the sex toys, so have at it.”</p><p>Amanda chuckles. Mickey wonders if she thinks it’s a joke to break the ice, something she has heard many times before from nervous applicants. He smiles back, acting nonchalant. He can see the way Ian is scratching at the back of his neck, second-guessing whether Mickey really did hide them well enough away now that he said it out loud.</p><p>Amanda sets off for the bedrooms first, leaving Ian and Mickey to stand in the living area.</p><p>“Really, Mick?”</p><p>“What? It’s not like she doesn’t know our history.”</p><p>“Yeah but to bring it to her attention straight up like that?”</p><p>Mickey shrugs his shoulders. He follows Ian towards their little kitchen, both of them grabbing a drink from the fridge.</p><p>“Would you like a drink Amanda?” Ian doesn’t have to raise his voice too much in order for her to hear him.</p><p>“Water would be lovely, thank you.”</p><p>Ian grabs two bottles of water from the fridge and Mickey takes out a can of Coke. They decided not to stock the fridge with any beer. Knowing that the agency is aware of Ian’s Bipolar disorder, they didn’t want them to assume Ian isn’t keeping up with his regimen. Occasionally one beer is allowed, but if they saw beer in the fridge, they wouldn’t know how often it was being consumed, just that it was available to Ian whenever he wanted it.</p><p>Amanda steps out of their bedroom, eyes on her clipboard, and begins to take notes. With the bottle of water in his hand, Ian steps towards her and offers her the drink.</p><p>"Thank you. Would this be the room the child would sleep in?” Amanda points to the closed door to their second bedroom.</p><p>“Yes. We’ve kept it empty since moving in. We know this process can take time, but we didn’t want to use it for anything else only to have to change it all again when the time came.”</p><p>Amanda opens the door and walks into the room. Considering the space is empty, she still writes down her thoughts. Ian wishes he had read somewhere whether excessive note-taking was a positive or a negative when it came to the Home Study visit. Unfortunately, through all his research, nothing of that nature was mentioned.</p><p>Tired of standing around, looking like an awkward turtle in his own apartment, Mickey takes a seat on the couch, motioning for Ian to follow his lead. They sit down as Amanda reemerges from the second bedroom and begins to wander around the living area and kitchen.</p><p>Mickey hates the silence. After years of being with Ian who never knows when to shut up, the lack of conversation is making him uneasy. He figures if he feels like this, it must be torture for Ian. Thirty minutes later, Amanda takes a seat on the second couch, places her clipboard of notes on her lap, and opens her bottle of water to take a sip. Mickey bites his bottom lip. Amanda is the queen of suspense.</p><p>“So, this is the fun part.”</p><p>“Says who?” Ian rests his hand on Mickey’s knee, giving it a squeeze. Amanda would see it as a reassurance that Mickey doesn’t have to be nervous. Mickey knows it's a warning to shut the fuck up.</p><p>“I know this can be daunting. Don’t look at me as the person who will go back and report on whether or not you will be approved for adoption. Look at me like a family member you’re just having a chat with.”</p><p>“Lady, you haven’t met our families.”</p><p>“I <em>think,</em> what my husband is trying to say here, is that when it comes to being <em>respectable</em>, our families aren’t exactly what you’d picture.” </p><p>“Let’s start with that then. Can you tell me about your upbringing?”</p><p>Mickey’s thankful that Ian’s hand is still on his knee, the weight grounding him. She really just wants to jump in the deep end with these questions and watch to see if they drown. Well, Ian is Mickey’s life raft and Ian will do everything in his power to keep Mickey afloat.</p><p>“Well, I have five siblings, two older and three younger. I have a niece who is five and a nephew who is one.”</p><p>Ian isn’t sure how else to continue. Amanda’s question about their upbringing can be explained with a variety of answers when it comes to his and Mickey’s family. Ian realises at that moment, that no amount of practice answers or reading about the questions they would be asked could prepare him for how he feels in this moment. To have someone - a stranger - stare at him, knowing that they'll be judging everything he says, calculating his answers to see how truthful they really are - it’s a vulnerability Ian hasn’t felt in a very long time.</p><p>“My father is a drunk. He is a degenerate who pissed away everything he had on drugs or booze, not afraid to use one of us in one of his many elaborate scams in the hopes to cheat the system and avoid yet another day of work. My mother had Bipolar. So when she was manic, she was the best mum we could hope for, until she wasn’t. Then she’d run off for months at a time and we wouldn’t know when we’d see her again.”</p><p>Amanda doesn’t interrupt. She simply nods her head and takes a note or two. Mickey places his hand on top of Ian’s, which is still resting on Mickey’s knee, giving him a squeeze of encouragement.</p><p>“We all had to be the adults. At fourteen, I was already working at any job I could find to help make money to support us. I realised that I didn’t want that life. I wanted to work <em>towards</em> something. Not have to worry about where the next meal was coming from or if we could afford rent or heat this month.”</p><p>“Is that why you enlisted?”</p><p>Ian nods.</p><p>“I was in ROTC and my dream was always to go to West Point. My grades weren't up to their standards though, so enlisting was my next option.”</p><p>“But you were given a dishonorable discharge, is that correct?”</p><p>“More or less, yes. I had my first psychotic break while I was in the Army and was facing jail time for going AWOL - along with some other charges. My medical records provided enough substantial evidence for the Army to understand that I was not in my right mind and had since been diagnosed with Bipolar. All the charges were dropped.”</p><p>“You’re file states that you enlisted under a false identification.”</p><p>Ian takes a moment. Mickey gives his hand a squeeze but Ian doesn't acknowledge it. He’s stuck in his head, his memories running wild, emotions flooding him with the pain and heartbreak he was running from. He’s trying to find the correct words to explain what happened. Why it happened, all while keeping his head above water.</p><p>“I was seventeen, and since the legal age to enlist is eighteen, I used my brother’s name. I needed to leave. To get out of Chicago. I had no money, so I figured it would be the best option since I was planning to enlist when I was old enough anyway. I wasn’t thinking of the consequences. I was on the verge of having my first manic episode and I wasn’t thinking clearly. I was just thinking that I had to go.”</p><p>“What made you need to leave?” Amanda’s face looks serious. He understands why she needs to know every detail, calculating if Ian is running from something or someone. If she is about to hand a child over to them, she needs to know all the facts and believe that this child would be safe in their care.</p><p>“My father caught us together.” Mickey sits up, no longer feeling so relaxed at the topic of Terry.</p><p>“He <em>disapproved</em> of my lifestyle. He caught us one day, beat us, and threaten our lives. I was trying to keep Ian safe by keeping my distance but that only hurt Ian more. He decided leaving would be easier for him.”</p><p>“I see. Does your father still disapprove?”</p><p>“He hated me all the way up until the moment he died.”</p><p>“I’m sorry to hear that. It must have been challenging for you, growing up around someone like that?”</p><p>“Ha. Challenge is putting it lightly.” Mickey thumbs his bottom lip. Listening to how open Ian was, how honest. It was now his turn to do the same. Feelings don’t come easy for him, not with strangers. But he has to do this. For them. For their family.</p><p>“I was raised the Milkovich way, which pretty much meant we either steal it, deal it, shoot it or punch it.” Mickey notices Amanda’s hesitance so he quickly continues.</p><p>“If I didn’t do either of these things when instructed, then <em>I</em> was the one that got beaten or shot. My father believed that was the best form of discipline. A lot of the time I provoked him so I could protect my younger sister, other times he was drunk or high and was just looking for someone to take his anger out on.”</p><p>Mickey coughs, clearing his throat to prepare himself for what he’s about to say next.</p><p>“When he caught Ian and me. All I could think of was protecting Ian. But once Ian left, I realised life without him wasn’t a life I wanted to live. When he returned, I fought for us because I was more afraid of losing Ian again than I was afraid of my father.”</p><p>Amanda takes a few notes.</p><p>“And now? How are things with your families?”</p><p>“The only family I’m in contact with is my younger sister. She used to date Ian so we all get along.”</p><p>“We weren’t dating” Ian quickly jumps in when he catches Amanda’s eyes widening.</p><p>“We faked it, for my safety. Being gay in the South Side is like putting a target on your back.”</p><p>“Yeah, for my father to shoot.”</p><p>“Anyway, my family was always accepting of me and Mickey-“</p><p>“Pfft” Ian glares at Mickey for interrupting him.</p><p>“<em>Once</em> they got to know him, they realised that everything they knew about him was just a cover to protect himself from his father. It wasn’t who he <em>really </em>was.”</p><p>“Considering the hardships you have both faced. It’s amazing to see you have come this far in your relationship.”</p><p>“Took eleven years, but we got there.”</p><p>“Tell me more about your relationship, your marriage.”</p><p>“What like, who’s the top and who’s the bottom?”</p><p>Ian facepalms but is still smiling at his husband's comment. Thankfully Amanda is laughing too.</p><p>“No, no. I mean, what’s your relationship like? How do you work as a couple?”</p><p>They turn to each other. They’ve never considered that before, how they work as a couple. It just does. They are Ian and Mickey. If things aren’t working, they find a way so they do. Ian opens his mouth only to close it again. Mickey turns to face Amanda.</p><p>“He’s everything I’m not.”</p><p>Amanda’s face softens at Mickey’s statement.</p><p>“When we met, Ian was already out. He didn’t have to hide who he was. He wasn’t ashamed. He was confident and I wanted to be able to live like that too. I knew I couldn’t, but being with him made me feel like I could. Someday. As time went on, he became the one person I could really be myself around. Be honest with. I never really got an education, so Ian helps with that. We’re total opposites but also the same. Doesn’t matter how many times we tried to stay away, something always pulled us back together. Like magnets or a tether. We always come back to each other. We were more of a family to each other than our own families were to us.”</p><p>Ian smiles. The words warm his heart. It’s the most Mickey has ever opened up in front of anyone, let alone a stranger. Mickey can feel Ian’s eyes on him. He turns and is met with Ian’s lips on his. It’s tender. The kiss says, love. Pure and simple love. They pull apart, a smile forming on both their faces. They remember that they’re not alone and quickly give their attention back to Amanda.</p><p>“You know, doing what I do, I’ve met a lot of couples that have had very similar backgrounds to the both of you. Some have struggled more than others, but I’ve never seen any of them manage to turn their lives around quite like the two of you have. You can’t change your past. But you can grow from those moments that shaped you into the person you are today. That’s what I see when I look at the two of you.”</p><p>From that moment on, it feels like a weight has been lifted. Amanda asks about their job, what they do and if they enjoy it. Job security was important since they need to prove that they can financially provide for a child. She’s aware that they are still on parole. They’ve discussed their criminal records in detail, discussing when and why it happened as well as what they’ve learned from the situation and how they’re trying to correct their mistakes.</p><p>“We are aware that you are both convicted felons, and have noted that neither of your charges involves the harm of a child, assault, or murder. Although arson and being an informant for a drug cartel are still serious crimes, we have taken into account that you have served your time and have not violated your parole.”</p><p>Ian is holding his breath. Amanda gives them a polite smile and stands up with her clipboard in hand.</p><p>“It has been lovely meeting you both.” She extends her hand to each of them, offering a handshake goodbye.</p><p>“Likewise.”</p><p>“Once my notes have been reviewed, we will be in contact.”</p><p>“And how long could that take?”</p><p>“Generally it only takes a week or two. If everything is looking good, then we proceed with individual interviews.”</p><p>They both nod their heads. Ian leads Amanda to their front door, opening it to bid her goodbye. She walks out, stopping to turn around and face them.</p><p>“If I were you, I wouldn’t be too concerned about not receiving a follow-up.” She gives them both a wink and then heads towards the elevator.</p><p>Ian closes the door and faces his husband. Mickey is pointing at the door where Amanda was last standing.</p><p>“Does that mean?”</p><p>Ian wraps Mickey in his arms, lifting him off the floor and swinging him around the room.</p><p>“It means we are one step closer, Mickey.”</p><p>Mickey’s feet hit the floor. His smile beaming as bright as Ian’s. They take a moment to just hold one another as the last hour and a half sinks in.</p><p> </p><p>Friday after work, the last thing Ian and Mickey feel like doing is having dinner at the Gallagher house with their family. Once they moved out, Liam feared that the family was drifting apart, the beginning of only seeing one another on birthdays or holidays. So Ian agreed that they should all commit to dinner once a month, on top of any birthday or holiday gathering. However, after the week they’ve had, Ian just wants to curl up on the couch with his husband and watch a shitty movie.</p><p>Letting themselves into the house as if they still live there, Franny comes running towards them before they can take their coats off.</p><p>“Uncle Ian! Uncle Mickey!”</p><p>Mickey scoops Franny up into his arms and pretends to eat her stomach. Her squeals of delight make them forget how tired they are.</p><p>“Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. This child tastes delicious. I think Uncle Ian should take a bite.” Mickey goes to pass Franny to Ian, protests escaping Franny’s mouth.</p><p>“No, no. I’m not the food.”</p><p>“No? Well, where is it then?”</p><p>Franny points to the table where some open pizza boxes are sitting. Everyone crowding around, waiting for them to arrive so they can eat.</p><p>“Took you long enough.” Debbie takes Franny from Mickey’s arms and sits her down so she can eat.</p><p>“Yeah. Had to stay back for some meeting that ran way too fucking long. There always has to be some asshole that wants to ask a million questions.”</p><p>They all hug each other hello, then take a seat, digging into the food.</p><p>“Works going well then?” Lip asks as he pours everyone a glass of soda.</p><p>“Pays the bills. Good chance they’ll let us stay on when our parole is over if we want, so that’s something.”</p><p>Mickey is too busy shoving food in his mouth to answer, but he nods along to what Ian is saying to show that he agrees.</p><p>“How’s the garage?”</p><p>“Business is picking up and we’ve finally been able to find a schedule that works with Tami, Fred, and the shop. So, savin’ money on daycare, you know.”</p><p>“It’s so bullshit. We need to work to support our kids, so we put them in daycare, only for half our wage to go towards paying for it.”</p><p>Debbie grabs a second slice of pizza, helping Franny pick off the toppings so she can eat them separate from the base.</p><p>“Just wait. Once you’re old enough to go to school, the parents act like it’s cheap childcare while the teachers let us run around like it’s a zoo. Franny should be so lucky.”</p><p>Mickey ruffles Liam’s hair. It amazes him how he is the only Gallagher that actually enjoys going to school.</p><p>“Liam's right. Today I had to arrest two mums who were fighting out the front of a school after finding out they were both sleeping with the same teacher.”</p><p>“So what, the guy was playing them both and they found out?” Tami wipes her mouth and then checks to make sure she didn’t drop any food on Fred who is asleep in her arms.</p><p>“Nar. Apparently, he had promised the lead in the school play to both their kids. Something about needing it for a college application. Anyway, neither of their kids were chosen in the end.”</p><p>Everyone laughs. It’s pathetic, but if the woman were stupid enough to fall for it, then that’s their fault.</p><p>“All the joys to look forward to.” Ian takes another bite of his pizza, noticing how everyone besides Mickey has stopped eating.</p><p>“Trying to tell us Mickey is knocked up?”</p><p>“He’s sure eating for two.”</p><p>Mickey gives Lip the finger then moves it in Carl’s direction, more interested in the food than a smart ass come back. Ian looks over at his husband. They didn’t want to say anything until they knew for sure and although they haven’t been called in for their follow-up interviews, Amanda did make it seem like it was a guarantee. Mickey gives Ian a small nod and that’s all he needs to know he can share their news.</p><p>“Mickey and I have decided to adopt a child. We just had a Home Study visit this week and are waiting to hear if we have made it through to the next round of interviews.”</p><p>“Holy Shit.”</p><p>“Oh my god, that’s amazing”</p><p>Everyone stands up so they can once again hug one another.</p><p>“Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” Ian always went to Lip for advice or to get his opinion on big decisions in his life. The fact that he is only hearing about this now makes Lip realise that Ian doesn’t need him as much as he used to. He’s growing up, thinking for himself. And if he needs advice, he has his husband to turn to for that.</p><p>“Nothin' is set in stone. We still have a few things that could work against us so we didn’t want to tell everyone only to find out we got rejected.”</p><p>“Please. Some of the parents I come across, they’d be idiots not to approve you both.”</p><p>“Yeah, but a dumbass that procreated weighted up against two gay convicts wanting to adopt a kid, are two very different situations.”</p><p>“Will that go against you? Having a record?”</p><p>“Not necessarily. It doesn’t look great but they said it’s not a red flag since our crimes don’t involve children, murder, assault, that kind of thing.”</p><p>“What about the Bipolar thing.”</p><p>Mickey throws his pizza crust at Carl’s head. He's never the subtle one when it comes to asking any type of question.</p><p>“Again, not a deal-breaker. They have my medical records so they can see that I’m managing, keeping up with my medication, appointments, and any treatment I’ve had in the past.”</p><p>“How long till you know?” Liam’s voice sounds excited. Out of everyone, Ian was convinced he’d be the least thrilled about their news, worried that this would mean even less time for him.</p><p>“They say the whole process can take anywhere between three to six months before we’re even approved. From there, we then have to wait for someone to actually, you know, pick us.” Mickey thumbs his bottom lip as he recalls the many times he and Ian read the timeline of the adoption process online.</p><p>Lip raises his glass.</p><p>“Here’s to the girl that gets knocked up and picks you two lovebirds to be the father.”</p><p>“Here, here.” Everyone cheers to Lip’s toast.</p><p>Mickey tilts his glass towards Ian’s and clinks them together. His whole life has been about waiting and if there is one thing he has noticed, the best things in his life have come from it. Ian. Freedom. Safety. Marriage. He could easily wait some more if it meant adding a family to the list.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter is very much a stepping stone for what's to come. It was a look into the adoption process with all the paperwork and interviews that are involved. I hope none of you got bored with it all, but I wanted to keep it true to how the system works. </p><p>Comments are much appreciated. If you'd like to follow my socials, you can find me at:<br/>Instagram: @gallavich.geek (Video Edits)<br/>Twitters: @halewolf24 (updates on chapters and future fics)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Real</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After completing their Home Study evaluation, Ian and Mickey anxiously wait to hear if their application has been approved for adoption. Meanwhile, life moves on around them as they balance their day to day lives.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is probably one of my favourite chapters in this fic. Thank you again to everyone who is reading along, I appreciate all your thoughts and comments. Emily, you know you're loved, but I'll say it again anyway. THANK YOU GIRL!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/><p>Veronica looks stunning. She walks down the aisle with poise, Gemma and Amy walking beside her in matching lavender dresses. Ian’s heart swells as they smile towards their dad, standing at the altar with a small bouquet of flowers in their tinny little hands.</p><p>Everyone takes a seat once she reaches Kevin. He takes Veronica’s hands and they begin the ceremony. Ian’s skin suddenly feels hot, goosebumps rising on the back of his neck. He knows Mickey is watching him. His body can sense it, sense <em>him</em>. Sure enough, he casts his eyes to his husband who is standing behind Kevin, blue meeting green, Mickey smiles at him.</p><p>Throughout the reading of the vows, Mickey keeps his eyes on Ian. His husband. It feels like only yesterday that he was walking down the aisle towards him, Sandy by his side to help ease his nerves. Funnily enough, Mickey never realised just how much he wanted to marry him until Ian had asked. Mickey was never nervous about getting married, no, what he was actually nervous about, was having all those people see just how vulnerable he is when it comes to his love for Ian. He spent years building a reputation as Mickey Milkovich. Badass of the South Side. He wanted people to fear him. It was the only way he could protect himself from people finding out he was gay. Protect himself from falling in love and risking it all. Ian, though. Ian was worth every risk he took, and he would do it all again in a heartbeat.</p><p>The moment they were announced husbands and Ian leaned in to kiss him, the world stood still. The cheers and applause that erupted around them faded away. Mickey felt like they were in a bubble. He and Ian, against the world. Their struggles in the past, the way they had hurt one another, it no longer existed. It was a new beginning. Never forgotten, but no longer holding them back with regrets.</p><p>Everything about that day was perfect. Sure, their venue being burnt to the ground was stressful as fuck. Terry trying to shoot up the ceremony before Ian’s loyal followers stopped him wasn’t exactly what they had planned either, but the rest was everything Mickey imagined it would be. He wanted <em>their</em> wedding to outshine his first one. It wasn’t just about saying “Fuck You” Terry, it was about having one day be<em> just</em> about them. A day of joy, love, and laughter with their family and friends. He didn’t want some trashy South Side wedding. All he ever had was trash. The hand me downs. The leftovers. The fourth or fifth best. Their relationship was built around always making the best of a shitty situation, so he wanted their wedding to <em>be</em> the best. For them.</p><p>He notices the way Ian’s eyes drift to the twins. The smile on Ian’s face vanishes for a second, only to quickly return as he remembers he is in a room full of people. Mickey looks away for a moment, making sure he hasn’t missed the part where he has to hand Kevin the rings. The last few months have been rough. He’s put all his energy into being there for Ian, being the support system he needs to keep his head above water, that he has neglected to take time for himself. To process his own emotions. If anyone notices him wipe the tear from his face, they’ll just assume it’s because he’s caught up in the celebration of Kevin and Veronica’s wedding, and not because inside he’s hurting. For both himself and for Ian.</p><p>Mickey remembers one of his wedding magazines having an article about what to expect after getting married. It spoke about how things can change, couples can change, now that the excitement of a wedding is over. Couples may start to notice things they never saw before about their partner, as though a veil has been pulled away to reveal their true self. Mickey realised after a few months that he had changed, but not in the way the article had come across, as though it was something to be wary of. The shift for Mickey was how he became more open. Free to express himself without the fear of being shamed by his father or being called a homo or a pussy. He lets Ian know his thoughts and feelings rather than let them build up inside until he explodes, needing to punch or shoot something in order to find that release.</p><p>Mickey’s noticed that ever since he got married, he’s become more emotional. Whether it’s from years of never being able to express his emotions, needing to act tough and hide his pain deep inside. Either way, the minute he allowed himself to feel, it was like an invitation for his body to open the flood gates whenever it wanted. Happy tears, sad tears, angry tears. Tears of joy, tears of loss, tears of worry. Right now though, they are tears of sadness from knowing how his husband is feeling. He knows Ian blames himself, even though none of it is his fault. Ian walks around with the world on his shoulders. Wanting to be there for everyone and help whenever he can. He’s also his biggest critic. The minute something goes wrong, he is the first to turn on himself. Twisting the situation so the finger is pointed at him. Ian is selfless. It’s his greatest strength, but also his greatest weakness.</p><p>Mickey is brought back to reality when he feels an elbow nudge him in the ribs.</p><p>“The rings, man.”</p><p>“Fuck. Right. Sorry.” Mickey pulls the rings out of his breast pocket and passes them to Kevin. He looks back at Ian, their eyes lock and Ian smiles at him. Ian mouths the words <em>I love you. </em>Not caring that everyone in the room can see him, Mickey mouths them back.</p><p>The room suddenly erupts into cheers and applause. Mickey turns back to find Kevin and V kissing. He quickly claps along, joining in on the celebration. Music begins to play. They pull apart, holding each other's hand as Kev reaches out to grab Gemma’s hand while V takes Amy’s. The newlyweds and their happy family walk back down the aisle, passing their guests as they head out front to take photos.</p><p>Mickey walks behind them, stopping at the aisle Ian is standing in, and holds out his hand. Ian smiles. It’s genuine. He takes Mickey’s hand and follows him outside with the happy couple.</p><p>“You looked sexy standing up there in your suit.” Ian leans in and whispers in Mickey’s ear.</p><p>“Really? Cos’ I couldn’t take my eyes off this redhead in the second row.”</p><p>“Oh yeah? You should point him out. I might know him from my weekly ginger meeting at the community center.”</p><p>“Think he’d be interested in a threeway?”</p><p>Ian laughs</p><p>“No way could you handle two of me in bed.”</p><p>“Please. I got two holes. What else do I need?”</p><p>“Shame I wasn’t a twin.”</p><p>“Fucking in a room with your brother is weird enough. Don’t think I’d be into sharing siblings. I’m happy with <em>one</em> Ian Gallagher, thank you.”</p><p>“<em>One</em> power bottom, Mickey Gallagher is all I need too.”</p><p>Standing outside with the remainder of the bridal party, Ian pulls Mickey towards him using the hand he’s already holding.</p><p>“You’re all I’ve ever needed, Mickey.” Ian’s face turns serious. “You’re my family. If it’s only you and me till the day we die, then that’s more than I could have ever hoped for.”</p><p>Mickey reaches up, putting his hand on the left side of Ian’s face. His thumb gently stroking his cheekbone.</p><p>“You’re my family more than any of mine ever were, but I don’t think it’ll just be you and me until the end, Ian. We’re Gallagher’s, and Gallagher’s breed like rabbits. We gotta carry on the family name. It might not be today or tomorrow. Maybe not even this month or this year, but it’ll happen. Someone will pick us. Trust me.” He leans forward, laying a soft kiss on Ian’s lips. He <em>needs</em> Ian to believe him because, at this stage, it’s all they have left to hold onto. Belief. Patience. Hope.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <b>6 months earlier.</b> </span>
</p><p>Amanda had called them the day after their Gallagher family dinner to let them know that their Home Study evaluation was approved and individual interviews needed to be organised.</p><p>Her next available appointment was in a month's time. She scheduled Ian in first, with Mickey booked in for the following week. Their individual interviews were more personal - a break down of their family and their history with the law. Questions about why they wanted to adopt, start a family. How they saw themselves as parents.</p><p>But that was two months ago. Amanda didn’t say anything to Mickey before he left, hinting as she did after their Home Study. Two months of waiting. Hoping. Checking emails and messages and voicemails. Every time Ian was ready to call the agency, needing an update on the process, Mickey had to remind him that an application can take up to six months to be approved.</p><p>Mandy’s trying to organise a time to come down and visit. It’s more difficult than she had assumed it would be for her PO to grant her a travel pass. Dates need to be approved, proof of where she would be staying, and the reasons for visiting. Surprisingly enough, visiting family isn’t a high enough priority to be granted permission to travel.</p><p>Until then, FaceTime is all they’re able to work with. Ian’s sitting on the couch while Mickey’s making dinner. It’s a Tuesday, so they both finished working the morning shift a few hours prior.</p><p>“So this bitch of a woman left us a negative review, because, and I quote, it<em> stretched me so wide my that husband thought I had cheated on him</em>. Can you believe that bullshit? It’s not my fault you ordered a monster ass dildo that made you loose enough that your husband felt like he was dipping his dick in a warm bucket of water.”</p><p>Ian doesn’t know what he finds funnier. The story, or the way Mandy is comparing this woman’s vagina to a bucket of water.</p><p>“So what happened?” He asks in between his chuckles.</p><p>“We offered her a refund to take down the review, and she could keep the dildo.”</p><p>“Did she take it?”</p><p>“Quickest yes I have ever heard. Then ten minutes later, she ordered the vibrating version.”</p><p>Ian laughs so hard he keels over.</p><p>“What’s so funny?” Mickey sits down beside Ian. Tonight is paella. Ian’s noticed the way Mickey has taken on the responsibility of cooking. He doesn’t say anything in fear of Mickey getting embarrassed, but he is loving every dish Mickey creates.</p><p>Mandy retells the story word for word. When she gets to the line about the bucket of water, Mickey almost chokes on the mouth full of rice he is in the process of swallowing.</p><p>“For fuck sake, I’m eating. I don’t need to hear about some floppy old vag.”</p><p>“Not everyone can take it like you can, Mick.”</p><p>“You’re only packing nine inches, red. That can still keep me tight. Any bigger and I might be needing to do those fucking kegel exercises.”</p><p>“That doesn’t make your asshole tighter, douchebag.”</p><p>“Whatever. Same, same.”</p><p>Mandy’s face pauses as a second call comes through on Ian’s phone. He goes to decline it until he realises that it could be the agency. Besides work and family, no one else has his number and all those contacts are saved in his phone.</p><p>“Mands, we got to go. Love ya. Bye.” He hangs up before she can say goodbye.</p><p>Mickey looks at Ian, wondering what the rush is about. Before Mickey could get a word out, Ian has already accepted the call and put it on loudspeaker.</p><p>“Hello?”</p><p>“Hello, Ian? It’s Amanda from Family Adoption.”</p><p>“Amanda. Hey-Hi. How are you?”</p><p>“I’m good thank you. Yourself?”</p><p>“Well, a little nerves now that you’ve called.”</p><p>Mickey takes Ian’s bowl from his hand and places it on the table with his own.</p><p>“Well, nerves can be both good and bad. They can be a sign of anticipation, excitement, as well as fear of doubt or rejection.”</p><p>“Not helping, Amanda.” Mickey chimes in.</p><p>“Oh, hello Mickey.” Amanda laughs.</p><p>“Sorry, yes. Bad analogy. I guess I should just jump straight to it.”</p><p>Ian takes Mickey’s hand.</p><p>“About your application. The Home Study and individual interviews have fully been processed and evaluated. We are proud to inform you that your profile has now been added to our system, meaning you are now in the matching phase for adoption.”</p><p>“Holy shit!”</p><p>“Are you saying?”</p><p>Amanda giggles.</p><p>“Congratulations, Ian and Mickey.”</p><p>“We’re approved?”</p><p>“You’re approved!”</p><p>The phone gets forgotten about the minute Mickey throws himself onto Ian’s lap, straddling his waist and bringing him in for a tight embrace. Nothing is said. They don’t kiss. Mickey simply wrapped his arms around Ian’s neck, while Ian holds tight around his lower back. They just sit there holding one another as they bask in the news.</p><p>“Hello? Ian? Mickey? Are you still there?</p><p>“Yes! Yeah- Sorry.”</p><p>Ian picks the phone back up and holds it between the two of them.</p><p>“So, the last thing we need to discuss is the age bracket you would like to be matched with.”</p><p>Simultaneously they both reply “newborn” to Amanda.</p><p>“Excellent. I’ll mark that down in your profile.”</p><p>“H-how long could the matching phase take?”</p><p>“It’s hard to say. Some have been matched within weeks, others months. The parents make the final decision, inform us of their choice and then we inform you.”</p><p>Ian nods his head.</p><p>“If you have any questions or if situations change, please let us know immediately. Work. Living arrangements. Medical issues. Don’t allow the fear of your application being affected prevent you from getting in contact with us. Sometimes not informing us, can do more damage than if we were just made aware of the situation from the start.”</p><p>“Could that happen? Could a change cause our application to be withdrawn?” Mickey’s holding onto hope, but he needs to know the answer so he knows what to expect.</p><p>“It can happen. Very rarely, but if situations created a drastic change to your lives, then yes, your application can be declined.”</p><p>Silence falls between them.</p><p>“I’m sure you two have nothing to worry about. As I said, it is very rare that happens, but it’s protocol none the less that we need to be informed.”</p><p>“We understand.”</p><p>“Thank you, Amanda. For everything.”</p><p>“My pleasure. All the best, and I hope to be speaking to you soon with some more exciting news.”</p><p>Amanda hangs up, leaving Ian and Mickey to sit and process their last conversation.</p><p>“Did that really just happen?”</p><p>Ian opens his phone and clicks the call log. Amanda’s number with 5.38min sitting beside it is right at the top of his recent calls. He saves the number under Amanda’s name and turns the phone around to show Mickey the proof.</p><p>“Holy Fuck.”</p><p>Ian leans up, bringing his lips to his husband's. Mickey instinctively cups the nape of Ian’s head, the phone getting thrown to the side so Ian can use both his hands to squeeze at Mickey’s hips.</p><p>“I need you.” Ian whispers against Mickey’s lips.</p><p>“Finding out we’re going to be parents getting you all hot and heavy, Gallagher?”</p><p>Ian ruts up to show how hot Mickey makes him. Already fully hard and ready to go.</p><p>“Fuck, I love that.”</p><p>They continue to kiss. It’s not like before when they never kissed and had to enjoy the quick fuck they could get from each other. Now they have time. Freedom. Kissing suddenly became their foreplay. Each kiss feels like they’re breathing in the other person. Ian always loved to kiss, but no one ever compared to Mickey. Tasting him is like seeing every colour of the rainbow. The world becomes brighter, tastes become stronger. The sweet taste of Mickey on his tongue is a drug he can’t get away from.</p><p>“Ian” His name falling from his husband's lips stirs a hunger inside on him.</p><p>Without breaking the kiss, Ian unzips Mickey’s jeans, making room to reach inside and grasp Mickey’s dick.</p><p>“Fuck. You’re so hard for me, Mick. Do you want me to fill you up? Make you whole? Have you dripping with my cum.”</p><p>“Yes!”</p><p>“Yes, what?”</p><p>“Yes, Sir.”</p><p>Ian lets Mickey go. The whimper that escapes his mouth from the loss of contact goes straight to his dick. Lifting Mickey off his lap as if he weighs nothing, he manhandles Mickey onto his feet, stripping his pants and boxers down in one swift motion. Unzipping his own pants, he pulls the waistband of his jeans and boxers down fair enough to release his dick, but still have them wrapped around his legs. Ian pulls Mickey’s t-shirt off, leaving his own on, his dick being the only part of him that Mickey gets to enjoy.</p><p>“Turn around. Bend over. Hands on the table.”</p><p>Mickey obeys. His soft pink hole is level to Ian’s face. He grabs a cheek in each hand and squeezes, a red handprint already forming on each one. He spreads Mickey’s cheeks apart and his mouth waters at the sight of his husband’s hole clenching open and closed, winking at Ian, teasing him.</p><p>“This ass belongs to me.”</p><p>“Yes, Sir.”</p><p>“No one else has ever had this ass, have they?”</p><p>“No, Sir.”</p><p>Ian removes his right hand. His index finger circling Mickey’s hole.</p><p>“Please, Sir”</p><p>Ian watches as the precum drips from Mickey’s dick and lands on the coffee table. Taking his index finger away from Mickey’s entrance, he wipes it up, using it on Mickey’s hole to lubricate the area so he can stick his first finger in.</p><p>Mickey bits his lip. The sensation of finally having something inside him making him weak at the knees.</p><p>“More, Sir”</p><p>“So needy. Haven’t even warmed you up and already you’re wanting a second finger.”</p><p>Ian pushes a second in. The lack of lube causes resistance. He pulls both fingers out, leaning forward to bring them to Mickey’s mouth.</p><p>“Suck.”</p><p>Mickey sucks Ian’s two fingers that were just inside him, hungry to be putting his mouth to work. A moan escapes Mickey’s lips, vibrations traveling down Ian's fingers. The sound has Ian dripping. With his free hand, he smears the precum around his own dick, cupping the base to hold back from coming too soon. He pulls his fingers out of Mickey’s mouth. A string of saliva hangs from Mickey's chin as he watches Ian bring his fingers back to Mickey’s hole, painting around him before pushing back it. He finger fucks Mickey for a good minute, scissoring him open and enjoying the hot pants escaping his husband's mouth.</p><p>“That’s it, baby. Now, you’re going to sit on my dick, keeping your hands on the table, you’re going to fuck me until I say come.”</p><p>“Yes, Sir.”</p><p>Ian takes his fingers out of Mickey, placing his hands on his hips and helping him line up so he can sit right on top of his dick. With his feet still on the floor, Mickey hooks them around Ian’s legs for support, lowering himself onto his husband. Ian is wet, but not as much as if he were to use lube. The slight burn makes Mickey shiver, the stretch making him sigh. Mickey doesn’t even ease into it. He sits down and takes all of Ian’s nine inches in one sitting.</p><p>“Fuck, Mickey. You were born to take my dick. Look at you. Not an inch left that isn’t buried deep inside of you.”</p><p>“Feels so fucking good.”</p><p>“I’m all yours, baby. Use me. Ride me. Make me your own personal sex doll.”</p><p>Hands on the table, Mickey starts to move. Ian is already close to coming just from the view alone. With every lift of Mickey’s thighs, he watches the way his dick is pulled out of Mickey’s ass, only leaving the tip inside him, to then watch it get devoured as he sits back down. Ian moves his hands to each cheek, spreading them apart so he can see Mickey clench around his dick.</p><p>“That’s it. Take it.”</p><p>Sweat is dripping down Mickey’s back. Ian moves a hand to Mickey's spine, holding him down so he stays forward, hands still gripping onto the table. Ian's blunt nails claw down his back, leaving red masks, letting the world know Mickey is his.</p><p>“Ian. Please.”</p><p>Nothing brings Ian closer to the edge than the sound of his husband begging for a release. Pulling his body up, Mickey lets go of the table and falls onto his husband, Ian’s chest flush to his back. The new angel has Ian hitting his prostate every time he bounces down on his husband's lap.</p><p>Ian nips at Mickey’s earlobe. He kisses along his jaw and licks the sweat that’s dripping down his neck.</p><p>“Do you want me to touch you?”</p><p>“Yes. Please. Touch me, Sir.”</p><p>He brings his hand around and gently squeezes Mickey’s dick. He doesn’t move his hand, not wanting to jerk him off, he merely touches him, just like he offered. Precum drips down Mickey’s dick, droplets landing on Ian’s hand. Ian removes his hand from Mickey, rising it to his mouth.</p><p>“Lick.” He orders.</p><p>Mickey obeys as if he has been starved of food for a week. Hungry to please his man as well as eat up every last drop that is left on his hand. Satisfied, Ian puts his hand back on Mickey’s dick, leaning into his ear, and whispers.</p><p>“Come.”</p><p>Mickey screams. The moans are loud enough for their neighbours surrounding them to hear. Cum squirts up Mickey's chest, some reaching his chin as he releases everything he has been holding onto. Ian thrusts into his husband, Mickey no longer having the energy to continue riding him. Ian pounds into him a few more times and then he too is coming. Mickey's leaning all way onto Ian’s chest, his body needing the support to keep him upright.</p><p>“Fuck, Mickey.”</p><p>Mickey clenches around Ian’s dick, milking him dry to make sure every last drop is inside him. Ian rests his head on Mickey’s shoulder, catching his breath and letting them both come down from their high.</p><p>"You did so good, baby. Following my command. Riding me. Makes me so proud."</p><p>Mickey keeps his eyes closed and basks in the praise being whispered into his ear. </p><p>"I love you. All of you."</p><p>A small smile forms at Mickey's lips, his subspace haze fading away as he comes back to reality.</p><p>“I’m never going to get tired of our sex.”</p><p>Mickey finds the energy in himself to let out a chuckle.</p><p>“Hope not, Firecrotch. Our sex is the <em>only</em> sex you’ll be getting till the day you die.”</p><p>“If I have to pop a little blue pill to make sure I can keep pounding your ass when we’re old and grey. That’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.”</p><p>They both laugh. Ian can feel himself going soft and slowly slipping out of Mickey.</p><p>“I hate how empty I feel after sex.”</p><p>Ian moves his hand under Mickey’s ass and pushing in a finger. The soft gasp makes Ian’s dick twitch, but not enough to get himself fully hard this soon after. Swirling his finger around, he feels his cum coating Mickey’s walls, sticking to every part of him, only allowing what can’t fit to drip out.</p><p>“You have no idea how hot it is to feel my cum inside of you.”</p><p>“Knew you had a cum fetish. Can’t hide it now.” His eyes still closed, his mouth falls open, sensitive to the touch.</p><p>“Never tried to hide it, Mickey. I always went bareback with you.”</p><p>“That’s because we were - oh fuck -dumb teenagers.”</p><p>“Maybe so. But it’s also because I wanted to leave a piece of me with you every time we had to part.”</p><p>“Such a softie.” Mickey’s back arches as Ian rubs against his prostate.</p><p>“I’d say a romantic.”</p><p>Mickey twists his head, bringing his lips to Ian's. He rubs his finger one more time against Mickey’s prostate before carefully pulling out. Lifting his cum dripping finger to his lips, Ian sucks his finger like a lollypop, watching Mickey’s eyes hood over with desire. With his own cum pooled on his tongue, Ian goes in for another kiss, passing the cum into Mickey’s mouth and feeling it swirl between them as their tongues battle for dominance. Mickey swallows, Ian smiling against his lips.</p><p>“Fuckin’ love you.”</p><p>“I love you, too.”</p><p>On shaky legs, Mickey extracts himself from Ian’s legs and walks towards the bathroom. Ian watches his husband waddle off, cum dripping out of his ass and down his thick, juicy thighs. Tucking himself back into his pants, Ian lays his head back against the couch cushions and closes his eyes. Basking in the afterglow of sex, love, and excitement.</p><p>Ian’s phone starts to ring. He rushes to pull the phone out between the couch cushions in the hopes that maybe they are the quickest couple to be selected and Amanda is calling back to say they have a match.</p><p>“Hello?”</p><p>“Did you fuck heads hang up on me to bang one out?” Realising it’s Mandy, Ian puts the phone back on loudspeaker so Mickey can hear the conversation as he walks back into the living room, boxes and a tank top now covering his body.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Don’t play dumb with me. I know your post-sex voice all too well.”</p><p>“That’s fucking creepy. How the fuck do you know that?” Mickey yells back as he returns from the kitchen with two bottles of water. Feeling like they both just ran a marathon, Ian takes a bottle and skulls half at once.</p><p>“Whatever, shit head.”</p><p>“If you really must know it was a celebratory fuck.”</p><p>“Gross. That’s my brother you’re talking about, Ian.”</p><p>“Then don’t fucking ask if you don’t want to hear about it?”</p><p>“Wait? What were you celebrating?”</p><p>Ian turns and gives Mickey a nod to indicate that he should be the one to share the news with his sister.</p><p>“We hung up because the adoption agency called…” He takes a beat to build the suspense, knowing fully how it would piss Mandy off.</p><p>"Ian and I have been approved for adoption.”</p><p>Ian moves the phone away as a loud screech comes through the speaker.</p><p>“I’m going to be an Aunty!”</p><p>“Hold your fucking horses screechy McGee. We still have to be matched with a child.”</p><p>“Our application is now available to be selected from, which means someone still has to <em>actually</em> select us."</p><p>“Gay parents are all the rage at the moment. You’ll be selected within the year. I can feel it in my waters. Aunty intuition”</p><p>“Well, you better get your fucking PO to approve your travel pass then so you can come down and visit once we’re finally matched.”</p><p>“You’d think with the way technology has advanced, they’d find a way for a hand to come out of the phone so it can slap you over the head with it.”</p><p>Mickey laughs at his sister’s joke. He misses her more than he lets on, and now with the anticipation of them matching at any moment, he really wishes she could be here to share in this milestone.</p><p>“Alright, alright. I’ll get on his ass about it.”</p><p>“We’ll talk to you soon, Mands.”</p><p>Ian waits for Mandy to say goodbye this time before he hangs up on her.</p><p>“We better get ready.”</p><p>“For what?”</p><p>“Monthly Gallagher dinner.”</p><p>“Shit. That’s tonight.” Mickey throws his head back on the couch and lets out a groan.</p><p>“Come on, it won’t be that bad. We can share the news with them.”</p><p>“Ian, I know this is greats news, and don’t get me wrong, I’m excited. But we need to prepare ourselves. We don’t know how long the wait could be.”</p><p>Ian lets out a sigh.</p><p>“You’re right. We shouldn’t get ahead of ourselves until we get a match. Until then, we need to keep our jobs, our apartment, and stay out of trouble.”</p><p>“Well. Only the kind of trouble that we can get caught doing.”</p><p>“Mickey.”</p><p>“Okay, okay. No hustling or stealing shit.”</p><p>“What the fuck have you been stealing?”</p><p>“Nothin…” Mickey darts his eyes to the bay window and stands up to head towards the bedroom.</p><p>“Mickey!” Ian calls after him, knowing his husband is lying.</p><p>“You getting ready or what? You know peppermint patty hates it when we’re late.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“He was looking at me.”</p><p>“Bullshit. You may be the pretty one in this relationship, but he was totally looking at me.”</p><p>Ian closes the back door to the Gallagher house, not even caring who is home to hear their petty argument.</p><p>“I was closer to him. No way could he have seen you from his angle.”</p><p>“Whoa, whoa, whoa. What’s going on?” Lip is bouncing Freddie on his hip, cheeks a rosy red due to some teeth coming through.</p><p>“Some guy was jerking it on the L while looking at me. But <em>Ian</em> here thinks the guy was checking<em> him</em> out.”</p><p>Lip flicks his eyes between the both of them.</p><p>“Shit. You guys really are made for each other.” He walks away from the conversation.</p><p>“What? Like you wouldn’t want to know if someone was getting off while lookin' at ya.”</p><p>Debbie walks through the front door, Liam and Franny in tow.</p><p>“Hey, guys.” Ian crouches down, scooping up Franny as she runs towards him, lifting her into the air as she wraps her arms around him.</p><p>“Did you have fun with Gemma and Amy?”</p><p>“I showed them wrestling moves and then we used them on Kevin.”</p><p>An image of three little girls jumping on Kev, elbows at the ready to dig into his stomach or leg put a smile on Ian’s face.</p><p>“Did you try the one I showed you, Firefly?”</p><p>Franny turns her attention to Mickey, her face beaming with delight.</p><p>“Ah huh. Gemma and Amy were laying over his stomach so I could put him in the sleep hold.”</p><p>Mickey laughs so hard he gets those cute wrinkle lines around his eyes that makes Ian swoon.</p><p>“That’s my girl.” He holds up a hand so she can give him a high-five.</p><p>Putting Franny on the ground, Ian ruffles Liam’s hair as he walks past them both to get to the kitchen table.</p><p>“Don’t mess with a man's fro.”</p><p>Ian puts both hands up.</p><p>“Whoa. Sorry.”</p><p>“He's just grumpy because his girlfriend dumped him.”</p><p>“Wait. You had a girlfriend?” Mickey calculates in his head how old Liam is and then works out why he and Ian didn’t know about this.</p><p>“We were mostly talking online. But then we met up today and she said she met someone else and didn’t want to keep talking to me anymore.”</p><p>“Aren’t you a little young for online dating?” The ten minutes Ian had to use Grindr when he was trying to get Mickey back, was enough of an experience to know online dating is not used what it’s advertised for.</p><p>“It’s a site for kids to chat. Our school set it up when we had to do online learning and we were told to use it as if we were on our lunch break so we could stay in touch with other kids.”</p><p>“You’re still young, Liam. Plenty of time to date and meet someone”</p><p>“Yeah. Besides, once you hit puberty your hand becomes better than any girlfriend. Unless she’s easy and puts out.”</p><p>Ian punches Mickey in the arm, hoping he understands the cue to shut the fuck up. Liam however is used to such comments and plays it off with a roll of his eyes.</p><p>“Come get the food while it’s hot, assholes.” Carl walks in the front door yelling like he is breaking up a riot. He has tubs of crispy chicken, a few bags of chips, and some coleslaw balanced in his arms. Before he even reaches the table, food is getting pulled from his arms and shared around.</p><p>“Mick, you want-”</p><p>“I swear to god Gallagher, if you even put that coleslaw shit near me, you are sleeping on the couch tonight.”</p><p>Ian bows his head to hide his smile. Remembering how things got in prison, Ian still can’t help but make a joke when mayonnaise is in their vicinity. However, if he ever brought the condiment into their apartment, he could say goodbye to sex for a week.</p><p>Tami appears from upstairs while everyone is filling their plates up with food. They all take a seat at the table and dig in. The only sounds are forks hitting plates, chewing, and the odd burp or two.</p><p>“Oh, before I forget. Mickey and I got approved for adoption today.” Ian acts nonchalant, waiting to see if his family are actually listening to him as he shares their exciting news with them all.</p><p>Everyone including Mickey stops eating.</p><p>“Are you series?”</p><p>“Holy fuck.”</p><p>“Am I getting a cousin?”</p><p>“I’m going to be an uncle.”</p><p>“You’re already an uncle, Carl”</p><p>“Oh, yeah.”</p><p>“What did they say?”</p><p>“Does this mean they’ve got a kid lined up already?”</p><p>“CAN EVERYONE PLEASE, SHUT THE FUCK UP!” The Gallagher’s fall silent.</p><p>“Jesus Christ. One at a time would ya.” Mickey eyes everyone, making sure they all calm the fuck down.</p><p>“What did they say?” Debbie jumps in before anyone else can beat her to it.</p><p>“Amanda called us, explaining that our application was successful and we are now in the matching stage of the adoption process.”</p><p>“So, what does that mean?”</p><p>“Means we gotta wait for someone to get pregnant and decide they’re happy with two gay guys from the South Side raising their kid.”</p><p>“Shouldn’t be that long considering no one believes in contraception around here.”</p><p>“True. But out of all the applications, ours has to be the one to stand out.”</p><p>“Does it have your felony record and mental health on it?” Lip kicks Carl under the table.</p><p>“Yes, Carl. It does. Amanda informed us though that other applicants have still been able to be matched even though they’ve had a past similar to ours.”</p><p>“Did they say how long it can take?”</p><p>“A month. A year. Different for everybody.”</p><p>“I can give you Franny’s old bassinet for them to sleep in.”</p><p>“We have a pram that Fred grew out of that you can have.”</p><p>“Really? That would be great.” Ian lights up.</p><p>Mickey feels a little overwhelmed. On the one hand, the more hand-me-downs they get, the less they have to fork out and pay for themselves. But on the other hand, he’s worried about getting all excited too soon. Mickey wants this. He wants to be a dad so fucking bad and it only just hit him with how desperate he is for this to happen the minute it became a possibility. He realises if he feels like this now, then Ian, who has been hinting at kids since their wedding day, must be high as a kite with excitement.</p><p>The remainder of the night consists of Lip talking about the shop and the latest dumbass he was able to scam an extra two grand out of to fix up their bike. Debbie complains about how every job she attends, the woman end up hitting on her.</p><p>“I mean, seriously? I became a lesbian to get away from sleazy men. Didn’t think women were like that too.”</p><p>“Please. Women are one thousand percent worse. Men may be sleazy, but at least we’re direct and to the point. You women act all innocent but as soon as you go out for a ‘Girl’s Night’, you grab at whatever walks past you like you think it belongs to you. You’re just seeing what the rest of us have already known.”</p><p>Mickey takes a drink of his beer, using it as a diversion to stop any further questions or comments. He can feel Ian placing a hand on his knee and giving it a squeeze.</p><p>Carl gets all excited once he is able to share his story about the latest drug bust he did, retelling the events that lead him to tase the dealer in the dick, causing the guy to piss his pants as he fell to the ground.</p><p>“Is that even legal?”</p><p>Carl shrugs at Liam’s questions and continues on with the prostitutes he had to break apart because they were fighting over the same street corner.</p><p> </p><p>Dinner had been finished for a while, Liam and Franny were watching a movie while everyone else stayed in the kitchen to talk. Mickey turns to his left as he feels someone pulling on his sleeve.</p><p>“Uncle Mickey, will you read me a bedtime story?” Franny rubs her eyes, well overdue for bed, trying to stay up as long as possible so she didn’t miss out on her family all being together. Mickey’s heart swells, loving that out of all her uncles and aunties, he is the one she asks.</p><p>“You betcha, Firefly.” He scoops her in his arms, her head instantly falling onto his shoulder, wrapping her little arm around his neck. Everyone calls out goodnight to her, their voices drifting away as Mickey walks further up the stairs. He lays her in her bed, already in her pj’s, and tucks her under the blanket.</p><p>“Which book we reading tonight?”</p><p>“No, I want one of <em>your</em> stories.”</p><p>Mickey settles on the floor beside her bed and leans against the wooden railing.</p><p>“How about the story of the handsome prince and the dirty peasant?”</p><p>Franny nods, already closing her eyes as her head hits the pillow, her toy fox wrapped securely in her little arms.</p><p>“One day, there was this handsome young prince with wavy red hair riding his horse through the town. He caught the attention of this dirty peasant with dark hair, who wasstealing food for his family.”</p><p>“The prince got down from his horse and asked why the boy was stealing. The boy was so amazed that this handsome prince was talking to him that he lost all his manors and threw food at the prince instead, running off to his home before the Prince could say anything else.”</p><p>“A few days later, the peasant needed to steal some food again for his family, but this time the owner got angry and pulled a sword out, defending his small stall. The peasant knocked the sword from the old man's hand, picked it up, and ran back home. He hid the sword in his house so no one would know he took it.”</p><p>“The handsome Prince found out about the theft, he decided he wanted to confront the peasant and bring the man's sword back to him. The Prince arrived at the barn the peasant was hiding in and found him sleeping. Suddenly being woken up, the peasant feared the Prince would punish him for stealing and he tried to fight the Prince so he could get away.”</p><p>Mickey looks down, watching the soft rise and fall of Franny’s chest. She's asleep, but he continues the story.</p><p>“The Prince put up a good fight but the peasant had more experience with fighting for survival. Suddenly, they both stop fighting, looking one another in the eye as they struggling to catch their breath. The Prince leans forward and kisses the peasant on the lips. The Prince pulls away from the peasant, takes his hand, and leads him to his horse where they ride off together and live happily ever after.”</p><p>Mickey runs a hand through Franny's hair.</p><p>“You know, if I recall correctly, the Prince always wanted to kiss the peasant. It was the peasant that wouldn’t let him.” Ian is leaning on the door frame, arms crossed, whispering to make sure Franny doesn’t wake up.</p><p>“The peasant <em>always</em> wanted to kiss the Prince. He was just scared of what that would mean for him and the fear of the big bad wolf finding out.”</p><p>Mickey stands up, walking towards his husband, a twinkle in his eye and a smile on his face.</p><p>“You going to tell our kid the fairytale version of our relationship?”</p><p>Mickey rests his hands on Ian’s hips. The close proximity allows Ian to uncross his arms and drape them over Mickey’s shoulders.</p><p>“I think if our relationship can survive the South Side, then it’s already a Fairytale.”Mickey lifts up on his tippy toes, leaving soft quick kisses on Ian’s lips.</p><p>“Ready to go home?”</p><p>“Definitely.”</p><p>*</p><p>“What are we going to do about work?”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“When we get matched. Not like we can take a newborn to the factory with us.”</p><p>Mickey stops stirring the soup for a moment, realising they haven’t actually considered their work situation, their focus being more on the prospect of becoming parents.</p><p>“Not like one of us can quit. We need a job for parole and the cash to survive.”</p><p>“Okay, so we change our schedule. We do a week of opposites and then rotate. Making sure we still have our weekends free.”</p><p>“So, you’re saying we’ll never see each other during the week.” Ian's face falls at the thought.</p><p>“Well, what else are we supposed to do? You said it yourself, we can’t quit, we can’t take them with us. We don’t have a sitter and if we paid someone, then that’s just the same as not working. Those places charge through the ass to take care of a kid.”</p><p>“So one of us would stay home all day, then when the other returns, leave and do the nightshift.”</p><p>“Right. Then the following week it changes.”</p><p>“I mean, it makes sense.”</p><p>“You never know. Sometimes our schedules overlap anyway and we get a few hours together before the other has to leave.”</p><p>Ian nods his head. It’s the most logical thing for them to do, but that doesn’t mean he likes it. In the first few months of a newborn's life, so much happens. They change at the snap of your fingers. Facial expressions, behaviours, personalities. They grow and learn so much in those first few months. He wants them to be able to share it all together, but if one of them is always at work, he fears the other will miss out.</p><p>“How much leave you got saved up?”</p><p>“Fuck if I know. Same as you I guess. We’ve been working the same shifts since we started, so…”</p><p>“Okay, so let’s use some of it when get matched. We can settle into a routine together, let the kid get comfortable with us, and then head back to work.”</p><p>Mickey scoops some soup into a bowl for each of them. He turns to the oven and takes the garlic bread out, throwing it onto the plate and blowing on his hand.</p><p>“Fuck, that’s hot.”</p><p>“No shit Sherlock. You always forget to use gloves.”</p><p>“It’s bread. You take it out of the toaster hot, how can the oven be any different?”</p><p>Ian laughs. What his husband can lack in some areas, he sure makes up for in others. Mickey sits on the empty stool beside him, blowing on his soup so he doesn’t have a burning mouth to match his hand.</p><p>“So, what do you think?”</p><p>“Of?”</p><p>“Using some leave together.”</p><p>“Oh, yeah. Sure. When the time comes, we’ll calculate how much we have, split it, and then put in the notice at work.”</p><p>Ian nods his head and takes a sip of his soup.</p><p>“Fuck, that’s good.”</p><p>“Fuck yeah it is. Make sure to get some noodles and veggies with the broth. Adds to the flavour.”</p><p>“You know, I haven’t wanted to say anything because I was worried you’d stop, but, when did you learn how to cook?”</p><p>“Why would you think that would make me stop cooking?”</p><p>“I don’t know. In case you got embarrassed about it or something. You <em>are</em> sensitive, remember.”</p><p>“Whatever, eat your damn soup.”</p><p>“See.” Ian laughs. He knows his husband like he knows himself.</p><p>“I learned in Mexico, alright. There, you happy?”</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>Mickey hates bringing up Mexico. He was free. At least that’s what he had to keep reminding himself whenever he’d turn to his left and see Ian wasn’t sitting there beside him. It was hard to come home to an empty apartment, having no one to talk to about his day. Laugh about how he scammed a bunch of rich party kids who had never done drugs before into paying extra because they knew nothing about their value.He hates bringing up Mexico because he spent every night trying to convince himself not to jump in a car and drive back. What is the point of being free if the one person he wanted to spend his freedom with, his life with, isn’t sharing it with him? But most of all, he hates bringing up Mexico because of the look that appears on his husband's face. That look of sadness and guilt. Mickey gets it. They spoke about Ian leaving him at the border when they were locked up together. It wouldn’t have been safe for Ian to go on the run, not when he relied on his medication. How was he supposed to get that without proving who he was, where he was living? The feds would have found Mickey in a heartbeat and they both would have been locked up, most likely sent to different prisons too.</p><p>“Turns out I didn’t know as much Spanish as I thought I did. No one to talk to. Everything on the TV was in fucking Spanish so, I had no idea what was going on in any of the shows. So I kept it on the cooking channel.”</p><p>He plays with the soup in his bowl, keeping his eyes down as he stirs it around.</p><p>“I didn’t need to know what they were saying because I could pick up on the ingredients they were using just from watching. Anyway, I was tired of eating tamales and tacos all the time and it’s not like I could order a fuckin’ pizza or something, so I cooked. It worked out cheaper to buy the ingredients than it was eating out for every meal and I mean, money was tight, had to make it last, just in case, ya know.”</p><p>Ian wants to touch Mickey, but he doesn’t. Mickey is fragile when he is reminded of Mexico and he doesn’t want Mickey to close off from him, so he waits. He isn’t going anywhere. Never again is he going anywhere without Mickey.</p><p>“The first few tries were a disaster. I couldn’t get the measurements right when they used spices and shit so that was the first thing I tried to teach myself. Came in handy while dealing too so, win-win. From there, I don’t know. Became easy. Gave me something to do. Something to pass the time, keep me distracted.”</p><p>Ian takes a few more spoon fulls of soup into his mouth, noticing how much cooler it already is from letting it sit while he listened to Mickey talk.</p><p>“Now that we have our own kitchen, I thought I’d pick it back up again. Would have been a nightmare trying to cook for everyone back at the old place.”</p><p>“Ha, that’s true. No one would have ever cooked again had they learned of your secret talent.”</p><p>Mickey taps his index finger against his temple.</p><p>“Not just a pretty face, Gallagher.”</p><p>“And, I don’t know, you didn’t think of sharing this talent with me at least?”</p><p>“Had to make sure you wanted to marry me for me and not just for my culinary skills, bitch.”</p><p>He dunks his garlic bread into his soup, raising a flirtatious eyebrow at his husband while he shoves it in his mouth. With the memory of Mexico now locked away in the back of his mind, he sits back and enjoys their dinner, allowing himself to remember the promise he made all those nights he had to make meals for one. He would stand over his stove and vow that if he ever made it back to Ian, he’d cook for him every night. He’d provide for him and show him how much he cares by taking care of him. So far, since moving into their apartment, he’s done just that, and he’s loved every single second of it.</p><p>*</p><p>It’s Sunday, the day of rest. But not for Ian. Today is his and Mickey’s one year wedding anniversary and he has to go and get Mickey’s present. He had no way of hiding what he wanted to get Mickey so today was the only day he could get it. Gently rolling out of bed, he gets dressed and leaves a note on the fridge so Mickey knows where he is - even if it isn’t at the Gallagher house.</p><p>He had made sure to book in weeks ago, however when he arrived, they had no recollection of his reservation anywhere.</p><p>“I’m sorry, your name isn’t in our system.”</p><p>“We’ll can you fit me in? It’s our wedding anniversary, it has to be today.”</p><p>“We’re fully booked. The next best thing we can offer is-”</p><p>The phone rings. The woman answers the phone, running her finger down the booking list in front of her, and stops at a 5pm time slot.”</p><p>“No problems, did you want me to reschedule you or, oh, I’m sorry to hear that. All the best.”</p><p>Ian is bouncing on his toes with anticipation.</p><p>“Looks like a 5pm slot just opened up.”</p><p>“I’ll take it.”</p><p>She writes his name and number in the book and Ian walks out. He has seven hours to kill before the booking and has to avoid Mickey the whole time. Fuck.</p><p> </p><p>Mickey wakes up around eleven. Sunday is always their day to catch up on sleep. Jumping between day and night shifts during the week messes with their sleep pattern and leaves them with a day or two of only getting a couple of hours.</p><p>He opens the fridge for some milk and see’s the note. Perfect. With Ian out of the house, he can start getting ready for their anniversary. Mickey was willing to seek out the help of the Gallagher’s to organise a way to get Ian out of the apartment for a few hours, but it looks like they already did it for him.</p><p> </p><p>It's 7:30pm by the time Ian walks through the door. Mickey hadn’t heard from him all day and under normal circumstances, he would have been worried had he not known Ian was busy with his siblings. Still, it is their anniversary. The fact that he didn’t hear a peep from him made him wonder if all the excitement over getting matched actually made him forget what today is.</p><p>Ian opens the door and stops in his tracks. He looks at the front of the door to makes sure it’s <em>his </em>apartment he’s walked into. The living room is dark except for the warm flicker from the candles that are littered around the room. The TV is paused on the opening credits of some movie, the glow adding some additional light. The couches have been pushed to make room for a blanket that’s laid out on the floor with some of their couch cushions surrounding it. He closes the door, turns to the kitchen, and sees his husband opening two beer bottles. He’s wearing a black tank top and the tight-fitting jeans that make Ian’s mouth salivate from the way they shape Mickey’s ass.</p><p>“Mickey.”</p><p>“What? You think I forgot what today is?”</p><p>Mickey walks towards him, beer in hand and a seductive smile on his face.</p><p>“Considering how late it is, maybe it’s <em>you</em> that forgot what today is.”</p><p>Ian takes the beer with his right hand and cups Mickey’s face with his left. The exact way he held his husband's face as they stood in his childhood bedroom, declaring how they were both ready to walk down the aisle and start their lives together as husbands.</p><p>“How could I forget. I finally got to show everyone how much I love you. How you were the one for me.”</p><p>Mickey leans in and gently kisses his husband. Every kiss they share takes Mickey to a place where only he and Ian exist. The rest of the world around them falling away.</p><p>“Happy wedding anniversary, Mr. Gallagher.”</p><p>Ian says the words against Mickey’s lips and he can’t help but smile. It still takes Mickey a moment to register it's actually <em>him</em> they are referring to when he gets called Mr. Gallagher. But he’d be lying if he didn’t admit how much he loves the sound of it.</p><p>“Happy wedding anniversary, Ian.”</p><p>It took what felt like forever to hear Mickey say his name all those years ago. To this day, eleven years later, it still makes him weak at the knees.</p><p>“Take a seat. I’ll bring over dinner.”</p><p>Ian kicks off his shoes and heads for the blanket. He positions a cushion behind himself, giving him something to lean his back against as he lays down on his side, using his right arm to hold his head up, his cheek resting on his palm, spread out like a model on the cover of a GQ magazine. Mickey comes back with a tray of pizza rolls. Ian laughs.</p><p>“This is dinner? I’m used to pasta and steak since you’ve gone all gourmet chef on me.”</p><p>“Shut up. I’m recreating our first date.”</p><p>Ian turns towards Mickey, he’s sitting with one knee up and his arm resting on it. A slight blush appears on his face, still possible to make out in the dimly lit room.</p><p>“That was our first date?” Although they never discussed it, part of Ian had always hoped the night he spent at the Milkovich house would be classed as their first date. But the morning after turned everything upside down and he never got the chance to ask.</p><p>“I mean, yeah. I asked you over, fed you. We-”</p><p>“Made love and then shared your bed as we slept.”</p><p>Mickey lifts his eyes, looking at Ian through the hood of his eyelids.</p><p>“That was the first time we had slow sex. I wanted to savor the moment, never sure when we would get the chance again. I remember we were able to take our time. I was able to take in every part of you, <em>look </em>at you. It was beautiful. <em>You</em> were beautiful.”</p><p>“I remember.” Mickey smiles at the memory.</p><p>“Something changed for me that night. I woke up thinking that maybe I could offer you more, be more. I <em>wanted</em> to be more But then-”</p><p>Mickey stops. His eyes casting back down. He starts to turn his ring on his finger anxiously, flashbacks of what happened clouding his vision like a horror movie playing before his eyes.</p><p>“Hey. Mickey. Look at me.”</p><p>Ian reaches out for his husband's hand. His thumb running over Mickey’s wedding ring, stilling his right hand from spinning the ring.</p><p>“Don’t let him ruin tonight. Ruin this.”</p><p>Mickey pulls his hand out from under Ian’s and reaches for his beer, taking a swig to drown out the memories and bringing himself back to the present.</p><p>“I figured how else to commemorate our first wedding anniversary than rewatching the movie from our first date.”</p><p>“No way?”</p><p>“I mean, we never actually got around to watching it.”</p><p>Ian laughs. He watches Mickey press play, the opening credits for Under Siege beginning on the TV.</p><p>“You know, <em>you </em>were the one that picked this movie, something about a powerful ponytail… and yet, we didn’t even make it ten minutes in before you were on your knees.”</p><p>“I got bored. Seen it that many times I figured we could use our time doing something I <em>hadn’t</em> done before.”</p><p>There were so many firsts that Ian and Mickey missed out on sharing together, but sitting here now, in their apartment, Mickey thinks of all the firsts they did get to share. Ian was the first and <em>only</em> person Mickey had ever bottomed for. He was the first guy Mickey gave a blow job to and the first person he ever kissed. Ian was the first person he opened his heart to and loved, and sadly, Ian was the first person to also break it. What he loved most, sitting in their <em>first</em> apartment, celebrating their <em>first</em> wedding anniversary, was the fact that after eleven years, they still had so many firsts to look forward to.</p><p>Their first child. First pet. First vacation. The first house they buy together because no way could they live in this apartment forever. Yeah, Mickey was ready for a future full of firsts with his husband.</p><p>The pizza rolls were eaten and a few empty beer bottles were littered around them. Mickey looks down at Ian, his head resting in his lap while he lays on his side, Mickey running his fingers through Ian’s hair as he watches the movie play before them. He grabs the remote to mute the TV, not caring if they miss the movie as it plays in the background.</p><p>“Move your head for a second.” Ian pushes up on his elbow and holds himself up so Mickey can stand and head towards their bedroom. He returns with a wrapped gift the size of a shoebox.</p><p>“It’s not a traditional anniversary gift or whatever but, here.”</p><p>He places the box on the blanket in front of Ian and watches carefully as he unwraps it. Ian reads the box and smiles.</p><p>“A baby monitor?”</p><p>“Not just <em>any</em> baby monitor. This one has an app we can connect to our phones so while one of us is at work, we can log on and see what’s going on.”</p><p>Ian’s heart melts. The conversation they had in the kitchen not too long ago coming back to him.</p><p>“I could tell you didn’t like the idea of one of us being away when we have to go back to work. I figured this way we could check in during our break or whatever, maybe feel like we weren’t missing out as much.”</p><p>Ian is speechless. Not once throughout their whole conversation did Ian let on that he hated the thought of either of them missing out on their child growing up. Mickey just knew. Like everything else, he simply understood what was going through Ian’s mind, reading him as if he was the author of the book. Ian smiled. Mickey couldn’t solve the issue with their work schedules, so he found another way to help solve the problem.</p><p>“You always think of a solution for every problem I create for myself.”</p><p>“Hey, Ian. You didn’t create a problem, you simply wanted to prepare us for every scenario. We were so wrapped up in the excitement of being matched that we never had the discussion of work. So we did. And our options aren’t ideal but we will make them work.”</p><p>“I’m not just talking about our work schedules, Mick. I’m talking about the last eleven years. I created so many problems for us, for you. No matter what I threw at you, you found a way to fix it.”</p><p>He didn’t have to list them. Mickey knew what moments in their past Ian was referring to and it pains him that Ian still carries the guilt of what happened between them.</p><p>“For better or worse, richer, poorer, sickness and in health. To love and to cherish you, till death do us part.”</p><p>A tear falls down Ian’s cheek. He thanks whatever god he still believes is out there that Mickey came back to him, not once, not twice, but three fucking times. Mickey slides his body down so he is laying in front of Ian. He wipes the tear from his cheek, lifts his chin so their eyes are level, and kisses him.</p><p>It’s soft. Delicate. Like butterfly wings, lingering just long enough to feel the warmth of their skin on one another. Mickey pulls back, leaning his forehead against Ian’s. The kiss wasn’t about sex, it was about love. A promise and an understanding made between the two of them. Mickey moves his right hand to Ian’s hip, giving it a gentle squeeze. Ian hisses out and quickly pulls away from the touch.</p><p>“Fuck I forgot how much that hurts.”</p><p>“What hurts? Ian, what the fuck?”</p><p>Mickey stands to switch on the lamp. The romantic atmosphere went out the window as harsh light attacks Ian’s eyes. Mickey stands over him as Ian lays fully on his back, his hand holding his left hipbone.</p><p>“Ian, you better start talking.”</p><p>“Okay, okay. Relax. Come down here.”</p><p>He holds out his hand for Mickey to take, guiding him over his body, pulling on his arm, and motioning for him to straddle his waist.</p><p>“I guess it’s now my turn to give <em>you</em> your anniversary gift.”</p><p>Ian moves his hands to his waistband and unzips his jeans.</p><p>“As much as I love your dick, it’s not very original and it doesn’t explain why you’re holding your hip like an old lady that just walked into a countertop.”</p><p>Ignoring his husband, Ian lifts the corner of his t-shirt and then raises his hips just enough so he can pull the left side of his jeans and boxers down a few inches. Mickey can’t believe his eyes.</p><p>“Holy shit.”</p><p>The cursive letters spelling out ‘Mickey’ are tattooed on Ian’s hip. He shimmies down Ian’s legs so he can level himself with Ian’s waist, getting a closer look at the tattoo beneath the wrapping. Taking his index finger, he gently traces the outline of each letter, feeling the risen swollen skin under his fingertip. He makes sure to be gentle enough to not irritate Ian’s skin.</p><p>“You <em>actually</em> did this?”</p><p>“I had it booked in a few weeks ago but the dickheads lost my appointment. Thankfully someone canceled, so they were able to fit me in at 5. I had to kill time, but that’s why I was so late coming home.”</p><p>Mickey's eyes can’t seem to look away from the tattoo. The fresh black ink pops against Ian’s milky white skin. Freckles litter the area, making it look like dot work around his name. Mickey knew how much of a commitment marriage is. Sure, he recalls Ian spitting off some facts about divorce rates and such but, marriage meant more to him. Maybe because he was forced into a marriage that he never wanted, he was able to understand the true value of being able to marry the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with.And Ian is right, marriage doesn’t always mean forever. But this, his name branded into Ian’s skin for everyone to see. That’s the biggest commitment of all.</p><p>He lowers himself, pressing his chest flush against Ian’s legs, and plants a kiss on the ‘M’</p><p>“It’s fuckin’ hot.”</p><p>He crawls back up his husband's body, being careful not to knock Ian’s hip with his leg.</p><p>“I love it.”</p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>“So, why the hip? Is it like X marks the spot for where I need to sit while I ride you senseless?”</p><p>Ian cocks an eyebrow.</p><p>“I never considered it like that, but I like the way you think.”</p><p>Mickey looks back down at his name, the light catching the letters, glistening under the cream used to keep it hydrated.</p><p>“I mean, shouldn’t an anniversary gift be on your heart or something.”</p><p>“I considered it, but then I figured maybe I should save that space.”</p><p>“Oh?”</p><p>“You have always had my heart, Mickey. You know that. So I thought, maybe one day, I can put our child's name there, so they know that although we’re not blood, I still love them with all that I have.”</p><p>Mickey hates how sentimental Ian has made him, but the fact that Ian has thought this through - even though it could be years away - well that just proves how much of a softie and a romantic his husband really is. They smile at one another, Ian’s hands on either side of Mickey’s waist. Mickey’s mesmerised by the gorgeous green eyes staring up at him and in this moment, Mickey could not be happier with where he is in life.</p><p>*</p><p>“For fuck sake, this is the third time this week.”</p><p>Ian and Mickey are freezing their asses off as the speaker announces that their train is once again going to be late due to maintenance issues.</p><p>“You’d think with how much people rely on the L, the city would keep it up to scratch.”</p><p>“North Side maybe. We’re South Side. We have to fuckin’ pray that the city has enough money to keep the L running after they first install more fuckin’ trees n lights to the North Side”</p><p>Mickey blows into his hands to warm them up. His body subconsciously moves towards his husband, his back leaning against his chest, craving the touch and body heat. Ian wraps his arms around his waist, pulling him in, shoving his own hands into Mickey’s coat jacket.</p><p>“This shit isn’t going to work when we have a kid.”</p><p>Ian nuzzles his cold nose into Mickey’s neck, not wanting to move, he mumbles into his skin, raising his voice just enough so Mickey can still make out what he’s saying.</p><p>“What’d you mean? Plenty of people take their kids on the L.”</p><p>“Would you want to be standing around in the freezing cold, waiting for a broken down train, while our kid is screaming cause they’d rather be home where it’s warm?”</p><p>“When it’s cold, we’ll just walk or Uber it everywhere then.”</p><p>“Yeah, cause that won’t eat away at our savings really fucking quick, Mick.”</p><p>Mickey pulls out of Ian’s arms and turns around. This conversation needs to happen face to face and he doesn’t want to have an argument in public with everyone turning to stare at them.</p><p>“Our parents took us on the L, we turned out fine.”</p><p>Ian tilted his head, giving Mickey that look with his eyes that just screams ‘really’ in all its sarcastic glory.</p><p>“As fine as one fuckin’ <em>can</em> be in the South Side, with parents like Terry, Frank, and Monica.”</p><p>Mickey pulls out a smoke, making note that he is running low.</p><p>“Exactly. We’re trying to be better than they were, remember. Lip said it was a nightmare taking Fred on the L when he was a baby. It’s not a very pram friendly environment.”</p><p>Mickey pulls at the nicotine, closing his eyes, envisioning the toxins running through his body and warming him from the inside out.</p><p>“And that’s another thing. We should quit smoking.”</p><p>“What the fuck, Ian?”</p><p>“I’m serious. Not like we’ll be smoking around the kid, so we might as well quit now than have the shakes from not getting our fix every ten minutes. Won't be easy to just up and walk outside for a hit whenever we want.”</p><p>“Anything else you want to change before we become parents. How about no sex while the kid’s in the house? Hmm. Oh, guess I can’t fuckin swear either, huh? Maybe we shouldn’t keep beer in the house either in case they get into the fridge and drink it?”</p><p>“Mickey.”</p><p>Mickey thumbs his bottom lip. He paces the platform, still making sure to stay close to Ian so he doesn’t draw attention to himself. An announcement comes over the speakers to inform them that the train will arrive in five minutes.</p><p>“Mick.”</p><p>“Mickey, hey. What’s going on?”</p><p>“Is this how it's going to be?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Us. When the kid comes into the picture is this what it’s going to be like? You trying to change everything. Change us? Me?”</p><p>“I’m not trying to change anything, Mick. I just want what’s best for our child.”</p><p>“And what’s <em>best</em> is if your husband fixes up his behaviour, language, hell, maybe even works a second job so he can afford a car so we don’t take the L like <em>every other</em> <em>fucking</em> <em>parent</em> in the South Side.”</p><p>Ian opens his mouth to fight back. The train pulls up to the platform. Mickey turns his back to Ian, waiting for the doors to open. He walks in, not even looking to see if Ian is following him. Mickey takes a seat at the back. Thankfully everyone that was waiting for the train noticed his behaviour and decided to find a seat far enough away from the little angry man with fuck u-up tattooed on his knuckles.</p><p>Ian leaves an empty seat or two between them. He makes sure to still be close enough so he can talk to his husband but wanted to give him the space he knows he needs right now. The train starts moving. They only have five stops before they need to get off and walk back to their apartment. At the second stop, Mickey finally speaks.</p><p>“I don’t want this kid to change us.”</p><p>Ian turns to the sound of his husband's voice.</p><p>“I’m scared that we’ll lose what we have and you’ll suddenly realise that the person you fell in love with won’t be enough for you. Won't be what you want in terms of a co-parent.”</p><p>Fuck space. Ian stands up, balancing himself as the train takes off, and sits beside his husband.</p><p>“Sometimes I forget just how sensitive you are.”</p><p>Mickey shrugs. It’s true, he won’t deny it. Ian takes Mickey’s hand in his, gently squeezing it.</p><p>“I’m not going to lie and say our relationship won’t get put on the back burner, but it won’t be forever. A child comes first, the partners come second. Once they’re a little older, then we can start putting ourselves first here and there, but, our kid will <em>always</em> come first.”</p><p>Mickey doesn’t disagree. How things would have been different if Terry didn’t always think about himself first, his drugs and guns second, and his kids last. He doesn’t want that for their child, neither of them do. It’s the premises they based their whole adoption on. Giving a child a life that will be better than what they had.</p><p>“I get that. But we are still Ian and Mickey. We haven’t even been matched yet and you want to change the way we commute, our vices. Fuck, you come home every day after you pass the thrift store with a new baby item.”</p><p>Ian admits he has been getting a little carried away, but he is so excited and he wants to be prepared. Amanda could call them tomorrow and say they’ve been matched with someone who is nine months pregnant and about to go into labour. He just wants everything to be perfect.</p><p>“I’m sorry. You’re right. We should be enjoying this time we have together now, while we can. It’s going to be a while before it’s just the two of us once we get matched.”</p><p>“I’ll try and cut back.”</p><p>“Hmm?”</p><p>“The smokes. The money we'd save if we stopped smoking would help a lot and you’re right, we’re not going to be smoking around them so we might as well just quit. How did Lip do it?”</p><p>“He tried vaping, but that was worse. Eventually, as Fred got older and was more awake and active, Lip couldn’t leave him alone as much so he found himself cutting back and it just, sorta, happened.”</p><p>Mickey nods. He’s been smoking since he was twelve. It's the first thing he does in the morning before taking a piss and having a coffee. Since moving into their apartment, he has noticed he can go longer without needing one since he has to go up on the roof or outside the apartment to light up. However, when he does get outside, he smokes three within a minute, making up for the lost time.</p><p>“How bout every two hours you go without a smoke, I give you a blowjob?”</p><p>Mickey raises his eyebrows, giving his husband a smirk.</p><p>“If I knew sexual favours in exchange for nicotine was on the menu, then I'd have signed up a lot sooner.”</p><p>“Not forever. After a few weeks, I’m adding time between each one. They say it should only take a few months to fully quit and I’ll do it with you.”</p><p>“Better finish my packet on the way home so we can start putting that mouth of yours to good use.”</p><p>The train pulls up to their stop and they get off. Desire is written all over their face. Mickey never backs down from a challenge. He sure hopes Ian’s jaw is ready for the workout it’s about it get.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It’s been a month since Amanda informed them of their application approval and still no word in regards to being matched. Ian wasn’t panicking though. He took Mickey’s words to heart and has made sure to use this time for them. On their weekends off they started going out more, whether it was just dinner at a nearby diner or drinks at a bar. They actually brought tickets to a sox game since Ian didn’t want to risk sneaking in since they were not only on parole but also needed to not risk their adoption application. Mickey surprised Ian with his ability to cut back on smoking. After 3 days of constant blow jobs every two hours - even sneaking off to the bathroom for a quick one at work - Ian decided to up the time to five hours. After a week it became ten hours and within three weeks, Mickey hadn’t touched a cigarette. Ian was surprised at how quickly he dropped the habit.</p><p>“You forget that in prison, I used most of my smokes as bribes rather than, you know, actual smokes. “</p><p>“So you played me?”</p><p>“No. It’s still fucking hard. But I’ve gone weeks without a smoke. Then once I can light up again, I chain smoke like a chimney and I’m back into the habit.”</p><p>Ian can’t help but be somewhat impressed. The money they’ve saved in the last three weeks they decided to put in a second bank account for emergencies. Not knowing when they may need fast money available to them once they are matched, they figured having something to fall back on could help ease the stress of any situation they may be faced with.</p><p>Mickey is currently out grabbing a few things from the store. Considering the shop is within walking distance of their apartment, Ian begins to wonder what could be taking so long since he’s been gone for well over an hour. The buzzer to their apartment goes off, and Ian suddenly wonders if he had forgotten that someone was supposed to be coming over today.</p><p>“Hey, Red. Come down and give me a hand will ya. One of the piece of shit bags broke and now your precious apples are rolling down the sidewalk.”</p><p>Ian smiles at the image of his angry husband cursing at the fruit as he chases after each one, bending down to pick them up and most likely dropping what was already in his hand as he goes. He takes the stairs and makes it down within a few minutes to find Mickey leaning against a black Jeep, no groceries or apples insight.</p><p>“Ah, Mick?”</p><p>“It’s not much. It’s a 2006 Liberty model, so who knows how fucking long it will last. But it drives. It has heating and cooling and this apartment came with a one-car parking space around back so at least it won’t be left on the streets at night.”</p><p>“How did you?”</p><p>“Lip finished his bike. I told him I know a guy who has a real hard-on for vintage bikes, so we made a deal. If I could sell it for more than his asking price, then I could keep whatever was left.”</p><p>“Holy shit. Mick.”</p><p>Ian walks towards his husband with a spring in his step.</p><p>“Now we don’t have to worry about our kid getting stuck in the heat <em>or</em> the cold when we go out.”</p><p>“I can’t believe you did this.”</p><p>He notices the blush appear on Mickey’s face as he looks down at his feet and scuffs his shoes against the pavement.</p><p>“Anyway, help me unload the boot would ya.”</p><p>Ian gives Mickey a quick peck on the lips and slaps his ass. He can get a full thank you when they get upstairs. Ian walks around and opens the boot. He freezes when he looks inside.</p><p>“The guy I brought the car off was selling it. He and his misses used to babysit their grandkids or whatever, but they’re too old for it now so he threw it in as part of the deal.”</p><p>Ian looks at the white crib, with a matching change table. It looks brand new. Not a dent, scratch, or chip in the wood.</p><p>“I swung by and picked up a mattress for it on the way back and Debs said she still has the bassinet thingy for us too.”</p><p>Ian had yet to say anything and Mickey was worried he may have screwed up somehow.</p><p>“If you don’t like it I can-”</p><p>Ian cups Mickey’s face and crashes their lips together. He bits at Mickey’s bottom lip, a moan slipping from his husband's mouth from the small pain that is mixed in with his pleasure.</p><p>“I love it. And I love you.”</p><p>Mickey’s smile is brighter than Ian’s hair.</p><p>“Yeah? I know it’s still early but I figured-”</p><p>“It’s perfect.”</p><p>Ian pulls away. If he continues kissing his husband any longer, they’ll end up giving their neighbours a show and Ian still wants to be able to look his neighbours in the eye when he passes them in the hall. They each take an end, lifting it from the car and into their building. Mickey leans the crib against the elevator doors, using it to hold it open so they can also get the mattress and change table, allowing them to get it all upstairs in one go.</p><p>Ian unlocks their apartment door, making a beeline for the spare bedroom, still as empty as the day they moved in. Mickey brings in the mattress. Ian heads back to pick up the changing table and together, they once again lift the crib and walk it into their apartment, the elevator doors closing behind them now that the doors are free to shut.</p><p>Mickey and Ian place the crib down in the middle of the room and for the first time since moving in, they evaluate the space they have to work with. The blinds are open, allowing a soft afternoon light to shine through, giving the room a warm glow. Ian is hit with an image of slowly pacing the room with their child in his arms, watching as they begin to drift off to sleep after a warm bottle, the sunlight reflecting off their face and their little baby eyelashes.</p><p>“I think it should go on that wall. Between the wardrobe and window.”</p><p>“You don’t want it closer to the window?”</p><p>Ian shakes his head.</p><p>“No. I want to put a rocking chair there. Be able to just sit and have the light come in.”</p><p>Mickey sees the sparkle in Ian’s eyes. He wonders what his husband is thinking at that moment, but decides to follow his instructions and let it be. Lifting the crib, they move it against the wall and simultaneously take a step back to consider their decision.</p><p>“Mick.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>“It feels so.”</p><p>“Real?”</p><p>It’s been real ever since Amanda gave them the news. However, standing in the bedroom that will soon belong to their child, the realisation of what their life is about to become hits them. They’re ready. They have never been more ready for anything in their entire lives. Ian and Mickey grew up with all kinds of things being thrown at them. No time to prepare for it or understand. It was always a react now discuss later kind of life. This though, this is on their terms. No one is putting a baby in their arms and telling them to just deal with it. No one is handing them a grenade that they have to defuse before someone gets hurt or in trouble. They made this choice together. They came to this decision as a couple, making sure this is both what they really wanted. They are partners, ready to take that step to become the family they’ve always deserved.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>We are halfway... some of you have contacted me with your suspicions on where you think this story is going, others just want them to get their baby. Answers are coming. Also, I love writing Uncle Mickey with Franny, the fact that he told his and Ian's story like a fairytale melts my heart. I had to include it.</p><p>If you'd like to follow me on my socials:<br/>Instagram: @gallavich.geek (video edits)<br/>Twitter: @halewolf24 (chapter &amp; fic updates)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Regression to the Mean</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Regression to the mean - It's a way of saying that life can't ever be all good or all bad, eventually things have to come back to the middle. Ian and Mickey's life is due for the balance to be restored.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please make note that a few new tags have been added for this chapter. This chapter will have brief mentions of past child abuse and neglect.</p><p>Thank you again for your comments and support. Emily, appreciate your help at all hours of the night when I'm struggling to word something correctly. You always come to my rescue.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/><p>“For fuck sake.” Mickey throws his knife and fork onto his empty plate. Frustration is written all over his face.</p><p>“What’s wrong?”</p><p>“Even the food was better than ours.” Mickey picks up the fabric napkin and wipes the sauce from his mouth.</p><p>“I tell you what. On our ten year wedding anniversary, we can come back here and renew our vows. We can have the wedding you had planned for us before the venue got remodeled.”</p><p>“You can say his name, he’s not fucking Voldemort. We can have the wedding we were going to have before fuck head Terry burned this place to the ground.”</p><p>They were sharing a table with the rest of the Gallaghers, close to the bridal table, each of them chatting among themselves. Franny was on the dance floor, spinning around to the music with Gemma and Amy. Fred was wandering around with them, losing his balance at times only to pick himself back up and continue walking again. Ian watches them, grateful he’s been able to see Fred and Franny grow up. He was worried that he’d miss so much while away in prison, but in comparison to how much they have grown since being out, he realises that he made parole just in time.</p><p>“You got your speech ready?” Lip takes a sip of his soda.</p><p>“My what?”</p><p>“You’re speech. Your Kev’s best man.”</p><p>“You didn’t do a speech at our wedding.”</p><p>“Yeah, but, that’s because no one did speeches.”</p><p>“Fuck. He didn’t say anything.”</p><p>“It’s Kev. V should be lucky he remembered to rock up wearing shoes let alone remind you to write a speech.”</p><p>“You used to write my papers in school. Can’t you quickly write something done for me?”</p><p>“I mean, sure. They'll know it wasn't written by you though.”</p><p>"The fucks that suppose to mean?"</p><p>"It's just, our vocabulary is a little different."</p><p>“Fuck if I care. Do I look like I ever gave a shit about copyright?”</p><p>Lip stands and goes to find himself a pen and paper. The music suddenly dies down and a voice comes over the speakers.</p><p>“Alright, alright, alright. How’s everyone doing tonight? Hmm.”</p><p>Friends and family cheer at Kevin as he stands with a microphone in hand.</p><p>“I’ll keep it quick. I’m a man of simple words.” The crowd all chuckle in agreement.</p><p>“Veronica, you are my Wonder Woman. If she was black. And had a killer rack. OH, you’re my Black Panther. Wait, that was a dude wasn’t it.” Veronica smacks Kevin in the stomach and motions for him to move on.</p><p>“Right. Sorry. Anyway, what I’m saying is, you’ve put up with all my shit longer than anyone else ever would. Or could. Or have<em>. </em>You have given me two beautiful girls. We have two awesome businesses and I love that we finally got around to having a real wedding.”</p><p>“Say what?” Veronica’s mum calls out, her eyes bugging out like they do when she’s angry.</p><p>“Thank you all for coming. Now for the best man speech.” Kevin couldn’t get the words out quick enough. Veronica was scary, but her mum was a force not to be messed with.</p><p>“Well, shit.”</p><p>Ian gives Mickey’s knee a quick squeeze before he stands up and takes the microphone from Kevin. He looks around the room and sees a lot of people he has never met before. But it’s the faces he does know that makes him nervous. He hates speaking, let alone public speaking. He breathes into the microphone, a high pitch howl pierces the room. Everyone cringes as feedback from the microphone being too close to the speaker enters their eardrums.</p><p>"Fuck." Mickey takes a few steps away from the bridal table, bringing him closer to his table, closer to his husband, and waits for the howling to die down.</p><p>“Right. So, fuckhead here forgot to tell me I needed to write a speech or whatever, so, here goes nothin'.”</p><p>He scratches the back of his neck, looking at Kevin and Veronica in the hopes that something would come to mind.</p><p>“I’ve known these two since I was a kid, busting kneecaps behind the bar when people that owed me money thought it was a good idea to spend it on booze.”</p><p>He notices a few faces pale while Lip and Ian crack a smirk.</p><p>“Kev and I used to run a business together. I guess that’s why he asked me to stand beside him today. Besides me, his only other friends are Tweedle dumb and Tweddle dee over there.” Mickey points to Tommy and Kermit, sitting on a stool near the bar, not at a table like all the other guests.</p><p>He doesn’t know what else to say, his mind blank with words about Kevin and V. The crowd is getting restless, and honestly so is Veronica and that’s not a good sign. He turns his attention once again to Ian, his smile lighting up the room, encouraging Mickey to go on.</p><p>“Relationships are hard to find in the South Side. It’s even harder to make them last when we’re faced with challenges that the average person doesn’t have to deal with. But they found it. They built each other up and gave one another the strength to keep going when times got rough.”</p><p>Mickey has no idea if any of this applies to Kev and V. What he does know, is it applies to him and Ian. He looks his husband in the eye and continues with his speech, wanting him to know that this is for him.</p><p>“Love is messy and complicated, but it’s also exciting and freeing. What matters most is that it’s theirs. No one can take it away from them. Love is not something that can be forced or controlled. That's what makes it so scary. It can consume you without you even being aware of it until suddenly they are the first person you think of in the morning and the last person you think of at night.”</p><p>He sees Ian smile, carefully wiping the single tear from his eye. Mickey scratches his nose with his knuckles, he turns towards the newlyweds and grabs a random drink from the table.</p><p>“To happily ever after, and all that shit.”</p><p>The room actually gives him a round of applause as they cheer. Avoiding eye contact with everyone in the room, Mickey walks back to the table and takes a seat next to his husband. Ian leans into his side and whispers in his ear.</p><p>“Meet me in the bathroom in five minutes.”</p><p>Ian stands up and walks away. Mickey is already hard. He wonders how he is going to make it to the bathroom without anyone noticing.</p><p>“For someone of so few words, that actually wasn’t all that bad.”</p><p>Mickey chugs half his beer, giving Lip the finger as his reply.</p><p>“That’s more like it.” He chuckles, picking up his coke and turning to check on Fred.</p><p>Mickey figures it's only been two minutes but he can’t wait any longer. He stands up to leave, stopping in his tracks as Kevin and Veronica walk up to their table.</p><p>“You know, I once called you the dirtiest white boy in America. Who knew your heart was so full of love?” She pulls Mickey in for a hug. Hoping all the tule from her dress is enough of a barrier between his hard-on and Veronica’s waist, the last thing Mickey wants is to make this hug more awkward than it already is.</p><p>“That was beautiful man, really. Thank you.”</p><p>“Yeah, man. Whatever.”Mickey wants to avoid another hug. Ready to brush them off and tell them he needs to go piss, Ian slides in beside him and gives V a congratulatory hug.</p><p>“We have to go do the rounds but, you both better be getting your asses on the dance floor with me later.”</p><p>“You betcha, V.”</p><p>They head off towards the next table, Mickey raising an eyebrow in question as to why Ian wasn’t in the bathroom.</p><p>“Carl's in there. I am not about to share a bathroom stall with my little brother while he gets his dick wet.”</p><p>Mickey cringes at the thought. They both sit back down. The staff has begun to bring the dessert out, delivering it to the tables around the room.</p><p>“Uncle Ian, Uncle Ian.” Franny runs up to Ian, planting herself in his lap before he even has a chance to grab her.</p><p>“The lady over there was saying that she can’t wait to get the baby out of her. Is that going to be the one you and Uncle Mickey get?”</p><p>Ian’s heart breaks at the excitement on his niece’s face. It’s the same excitement he'd been feeling, but recently he's felt it less as each day passes.</p><p>“That’s not how it works, Firefly.”</p><p>“But Uncle Mickey said someone gets pregnant and picks you. So why doesn’t she just pick you if she wants it out?”</p><p>“Sweetie. Some mummies still want their babies, even if they don’t want to be pregnant anymore. They're just tired of carrying them around in their belly and want to be able to hold them in their arms.”</p><p>“Ohhhhh.”</p><p>Ian sometimes forgets that Franny is only six. The conversations they can have with her makes her seem so grown up. It makes things easier at times but also scares him half to death, how quickly time flies, things change. He can’t imagine how Debbie must feel about it. Franny jumps off his laps and runs back to the other kids, acting like what just happened was no big deal.</p><p>“I’m sorry. I tried explaining it to her when she started asking why she didn’t have a new cousin yet.”</p><p>“It’s fine Debs. She’s a kid. It’s hard for them to understand.”</p><p>He takes a sip of his coke. Ian decided that tonight it'd be best not to consume any alcohol and be the designated driver for Mickey.</p><p>“Have you heard anything?”</p><p>“Jesus Christ, really? You want to ask us that tonight?”</p><p>“Mick, it’s fine.”</p><p>“No, he's right. I shouldn’t have asked.”</p><p>“Guys, I’m not going to break okay. You can stop walking on eggshells around me because it’s fucking annoying.”</p><p>Ian lets out a sigh.</p><p>“We haven’t heard from Amanda since-”</p><p>Ian can’t finish the sentence. Mickey takes his hand and gives it a squeeze. His presence giving him strength.</p><p>“I haven’t given up hope. Not yet. Couples can be on the list for years before they get a match. I understand that now and I’ve accepted it. It’s hard. I’m not going to lie, seeing you all with your kids, seeing Gemma and Amy. I want that. <em>We</em> want that. But it will happen. When it’s meant to be, we’ll get our family.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, bro.”</p><p>Ian nods his head at Lip and gives him a smile of appreciation.</p><p>“Have you considered another agency?”</p><p>“We have, but we’d have to start the process all over again. The application. The interviews. The waiting process. Even then, no guarantee that the agency would approve us just because our current one has.”</p><p>“I’m just worried about what this is doing to your mental health, Ian.”</p><p>“My mental health is fine, Debbie.”</p><p>“Yeah. <em>Now</em> it is.” The venom in her voice hits hard. It's a low blow, even for Debbie.</p><p>“You know what Peppermint Patty, you don’t get a say in this. You may be all gay and proud now, but you already have a kid and you got it the good old fashion way, with a dick and a vag. Us gays, who have been gay since day one, we don’t get it that easy. Hell, if you wanted another kid, you could go off and screw some guy at a bar and wipe your hands clean of him once it’s all done.”</p><p>Debbie’s face turns as red as her hair. Anger running through her blood. She feels a hand on her arm and looks to see Lip hinting at her to let it go. This fight is not something she can try and win.</p><p>“I think I’m going to go dance.”</p><p>Ready for this conversation to be over, Ian stands up, not looking to see if his husband is following behind him. Once Ian has left the table, Mickey leans forward, filling the space made with the empty seat between them, wanting to make sure he has Debbie’s full attention.</p><p>“Ian and I have fought for <em>everything</em> we have ever wanted. The odds were against us since day one and that wasn’t because we weren’t meant to be together. It had to do with this fucked up world telling us and everyone we knew that it’s wrong to be who we are. To be <em>what</em> we are. A lot had changed by the time you decided to dip your toes in the world of rainbow flags, so consider yourself lucky. But what we <em>can’t</em> change, is our past, our biology, or your brother's mental health. So don’t you <em>dare</em> throw that in his face ever again, you hear me? Family is just a title. You want it, you have to earn it.”</p><p>Mickey raises his eyebrows to emphasise his warning and storms off to look for his husband, finding him shimmying on the dance floor with Veronica and the kids.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <b>3 months earlier.</b> </span>
</p><p>“This week can suck a dick.”</p><p>Mickey and Ian walk through their front door, kicking off their boots while Mickey makes a beeline for the fridge. Beer. He just needs a beer.</p><p>“That was bullshit. Why the fuck did they think it was a good idea to accept a late delivery an hour before we were due to knock off.”</p><p>“Because tomorrow is the weekend, Mick. They needed the stock.”</p><p>“Well, next time we can tell them to shove it up their asses and come back on Monday to shit it back out for us.”</p><p>That's an image Ian wishes he could erase from his mind.</p><p>“Let’s go out.”</p><p>“Fuck that. Did you not hear me pissing and moaning about how big this week was?”</p><p>“We’ll go to the Alibi then. Have some drinks, play some pool. Winner owes a blowjob.”</p><p>Ian is playing dirty. He knows Mickey can never turn down a bet, especially one where sex is involved.</p><p>“You know, if you want to suck my dick that bad, all you got to do is ask. No need to embarrass yourself by losing in a room full of drunk rejects.”</p><p>“Who said I’ll be losing?”</p><p>“Please, keep to your strengths and I’ll keep to mine.”</p><p>Chugging his beer, Mickey belches as he heads into their bedroom.</p><p>“You want to shower with me before we leave Gallagher, or should I take my winnings <em>after</em> I beat your ass at pool?”</p><p>Mickey's standing behind their bedroom door, no longer in Ian’s eyesight. Mickey’s boxers suddenly get thrown into the living room and land on the floor. Pulling his shirt over his head, Ian runs into their room after him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Well look what the cat dragged in. Feels like forever since I’ve seen you two.”</p><p>“Hey, Kev. Sorry, things have been a little hectic for us.”</p><p>“Sure it has nothing to do with that new bar that’s opened up?” V struts behind the bar, holding a case of liquor in her arms that she retrieved from the back room.”</p><p>“Oh, you mean the one with the live music on weekends?”</p><p>Veronica is throwing daggers at Ian, he could feel her wraith digging into his soul.</p><p>“Nope. Haven’t been there. No idea what bar that is actually.”</p><p>Kev puts a beer in front of them both, Ian thankful to have something to shut his mouth up with.</p><p>“Pussy.” Mickey chuckles.</p><p>“Like that woman doesn’t make your balls crawl up inside you.”</p><p>“The only person that has the effect of balls going inside me is you. V is powerful, but not that powerful.”</p><p>“Mickey!”</p><p>“What’d I do?” Veronica’s voice has Mickey sitting up on high alert like a teacher catching him in the act of drawing dicks on the school table.</p><p>Veronica storms back to the front with another case of alcohol, staring Mickey down.</p><p>“Kevin has something he needs to ask you.”</p><p>“I do?”</p><p>Veronica nudges his ribs.</p><p>“Right, I do.”</p><p>Eyes shifting from Kevin to Veronica, Mickey waits somewhat patiently for Kev to speak.</p><p>“I need a Best man.”</p><p>“For the wedding you have coming up, after you stole our thunder and proposed at <em>our </em>wedding?”</p><p>“Yes, that one.”</p><p>“And?”</p><p>Veronica once again shoves an elbow into Kevin’s ribs.</p><p>“<em>And</em>, I was wondering if you’d be my Best man?”</p><p>“Me?”</p><p>“Well it’s either you or one of these bozo’s” Kev throws a thumb towards Tommy and Kermit.</p><p>“Hey!”</p><p>“Gee, thanks. Nice to feel wanted.”<span class="Apple-converted-space"> Mickey takes a sip of his beer.</span></p><p>“You know what I mean. You’re the closest guy friend that I have.”</p><p>When Mickey thinks about it, he figures Kevin is the closest friend he has too. Besides Ian and the Gallaghers, Kev is the only none family member he <em>doesn’t </em>mind having to spend time with.</p><p>“So, what do you say?”</p><p>“Do I gotta do anything?”</p><p>“Just stand behind me and give me the rings.”</p><p>“Fuck it. We were going to be there anyway so, sure. And I mean you are right, I <em>am</em> the Best Man.”</p><p>“Exactly. Wait, what?”</p><p>Ian and Mickey both laugh as they stand up, drinks in hand as they walk towards the pool table. Mickey racks up the balls, Ian grabbing the cue sticks off the wall, neither of them wanting to be distracted with such high stacks on the table.</p><p>“Can I play winner?”</p><p>“Sure, Kermit. Once Ian here wipes the cum off his chin, I’ll give you a game.”</p><p>Ian jerks his hand in the air at Mickey’s assumption that he’ll be winning the first round.</p><p>“I’ll let you break, I feel like you need the advantage.”</p><p>Leaning over the table, Mickey lines up his cue, noticing something else that's being lined up behind him. Ian pushes his groin against his husband's ass, leaning his chest to rest flushed against Mickey’s back.</p><p>“You never said anything about playing fair,” Ian whispers the words into Mickey’s ear.</p><p>Turning his head so his mouth can connect with Ian’s, he slowly kisses him as he pulls his right arm back, forcefully pushing it forward as his cue connects with the white ball. Mickey pulls away from the kiss, smiling against Ian’s lips as he hears a ball land in one of the pockets.</p><p>“I can play this game with my eyes closed, Firecrotch.”</p><p>There was more flirting going on than actual pool playing, both of them trying to distract the other. Turns we’re taking longer due to the lingering touches and kisses. Ian stops drinking at two beers, Mickey now on his fourth. They had decided to take advantage of the spring weather and walk down to the bar, that way neither of them had to drive home.</p><p>“Hey, will you chalk up my stick?”</p><p>“Only if you shine my balls.”</p><p>“Maybe you can help line me up so I can get one in the hole.”</p><p>“Will you two go home and fuck already. Jesus.” Tommy motions for Kev to poor him another beer.</p><p>“Who said anything about needing to go home to fuck?” Mickey bits his lip and raises his eyebrows.</p><p>Mickey turns his attention back to his husband. Sliding his hand down Ian’s chest, he cups him through the front of his jeans, savoring the low moan Ian lets slip past his lips. Ian’s phone starts to ring in his back pocket. He pushes his dick further into Mickey’s touch, not wanting to break the contact. With their foreheads resting against one another, he retrieves his phone and swipes it open, ready to tell whoever is calling that he is preoccupied with his husband getting him off.</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Ian, Hi. It’s Amanda.”</p><p>Ian stands up straight. The hand on his dick forgotten and the look of disappointment on Mickey’s face as Ian pushes his hand away is ignored.</p><p>“Amanda! Yes, Hi.”</p><p>At the sound of Amanda’s name, Mickey pushes off the edge of the pool table and leans in, trying to hear what is being said through the phone.</p><p>“I mean, what’s so special about gay sex anyway? I tried it once, wasn’t that great.”</p><p>“Tommy, you told me never to mention that.”</p><p>“Wait, what?” Kevin’s booming voice could have been heard by the homeless sleeping outback. Ian’s struggling to hear what Amanda's saying, he motions for Mickey to following him outside.</p><p>It’s a calm night. No wind or sirens breaking the silence that settles around them as they step outside. They each take a breath as Ian pulls the phone away from his ear and puts Amanda on speaker.</p><p>“Hello? Are you there?”</p><p>“Amanda, sorry. Mickey and I just stepped outside so we could hear you better.”</p><p>“Oh, no problems. Hi, Mickey.”</p><p>“Hey.”</p><p>Mickey’s nerves are running wild. All he could say was hey - the anticipation of why Amanda was calling them on a Friday night putting him on edge.</p><p>“I’m sorry to be calling you both at this time. I was about to leave for the night when the file got handed to me and I didn’t want to wait till Monday morning.”</p><p>“You really know how to build up that suspense, Amanda.”</p><p>She laughs.</p><p>“An expecting mother, currently seven months pregnant has decided that she would like you both to be the adopting parents of her child.”</p><p>“Holy shit!”</p><p>“Are you serious?”</p><p>Amanda laughs again, this time they can hear the excitement coming through in her voice.</p><p>“I'm serious. I would never joke about a family being matched.”</p><p>Ian turns to his husband. Mickey's standing beside him with his hands over his mouth in disbelief. They look at one another, eyes glistening with unshed tears of joy.</p><p>“What does this mean?” Mickey knows what it means, but he feels like he needs it spelled out for him to make sure he isn’t dreaming.</p><p>“The mother has signed the required paperwork, stating that when she goes into labour, you will be contacted and welcomed to join her at the hospital. She does not know the gender of the child and has decided that she would feel more comfortable to forgo a meet and greet.”</p><p>“Oh. Can I ask why?”</p><p>“Some mothers prefer to distance themselves as much as possible from the adoptive families. That way there’s less of a connection or friendship between them. As much as some of these families are comfortable with the idea of giving their child up for adoption, it can still be daunting when faced with the family that will be raising their child.”</p><p>Mickey gives Ian a small nod to let him know he’s okay with the decision. As much as they would’ve liked to have met the woman giving them a chance to start a family, they couldn’t begin to imagine how difficult it would be for her. </p><p>“Of course. We understand and respect her decision.”</p><p>“Wonderful.”</p><p>“So, what? Now we just, wait?”</p><p>“I’m afraid so, Mickey. You'll be hearing from me again in a couple of months unless the mother goes into early labour.”</p><p>“Is that possible?”</p><p>“When it comes to pregnancies, anything is possible. It’s one of the things mother nature has full control over.” </p><p>Ian and Mickey can hear the smile in Amanda's voice.</p><p>“Have a wonderful night and, congratulations to you both. I was so excited for you when I saw your name on the file.”</p><p>“Thank you for your help, Amanda.”</p><p>Hanging up the phone, Ian pulls Mickey into a hug, lifting him off the pavement and spinning them around on the spot. Mickey is so ecstatic he can’t even bring himself to scold Ian for acting so gay as his feet are placed back onto the pavement. Ian holds Mickey’s face in his hands, his thumbs rubbing against his cheekbones. Blue and green eyes staring back at each other.</p><p>“It’s happening. We’re getting a baby.”</p><p>“We’re getting a baby.”</p><p>“We’re going to be parents.”</p><p>“Oh, fuck. We’re going to be parents.”</p><p>“No backing out now, Mick.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t dream of it.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They decide the easiest way to share the news is through a group text. Setting up a chat with Mandy, Debbie, Lip, Carl, Liam, Tami, Kev, and V - Ian sends out a picture he finds on the internet of two pairs of Timberland boots with a baby pair sitting in the middle.</p><p><b>Ian: (8.08pm):</b> - Image Sent -</p><p> </p><p><b>Ian: (8.08pm):</b> Expecting in two months.</p><p><b>Mandy: (8.08pm):</b> I’M GOING TO BE AN AUNTY</p><p><b>Debbie: (8.08pm):</b> OMG FRANNY IS GOING TO FLIP</p><p><b>Lip: (8.09pm):</b> Congrats guys, that’s great news.</p><p><b>Mandy: (8.09pm):</b> Boy or Girl? I need to go shopping.</p><p><b>Carl: (8.09pm):</b> Wow. You’re actually going to be parents.</p><p><b>Kevin: (8.09pm):</b> It’s going two take two months to get some shoes?</p><p><b>Tami: (8.10pm):</b> Could not be happier for you both.</p><p><b>V: (8.10pm):</b> Who’s pregnant?</p><p><b>Ian: (8.10pm):</b> We’re adopting V. Got matched tonight.</p><p><b>Mandy: (8.11pm):</b> You’re both going to be amazing parents.</p><p><b>V: (8.11pm):</b> Why am I only just finding out about this?</p><p><b>Debbie: (8.11pm):</b> You both deserve this. Congrats guys!</p><p><b>Lip: (8.11pm):</b> Say goodbye to sleep</p><p><b>Carl: (8.12pm):</b> And sex</p><p><b>Liam: (8.12pm):</b> Happy for you…dibs not babysitting.</p><p><b>Mandy: (8.13pm):</b> BLUE OR PINK?!</p><p><b>Mickey: (8.14pm):</b> Won't know until the day. But fuck that blue or pink shit. If we have a son that wants to wear pink, he can.</p><p><b>Debbie: (8.15pm):</b> Birth mother doesn’t know the gender?</p><p><b>Ian: (8.15pm):</b> No. Since she decided to go with adoption, she wanted to know as little as possible about the baby.</p><p><b>Lip: (8.15pm):</b> Understandable.</p><p><b>Kev: (8.15pm):</b> Free drink next time you cum in. Your going two love being a dad.</p><p><b>V: (8.16pm): </b>So proud of you both. I’m here if you need anything.</p><p> </p><p>Putting their phones on mute, they toss them to the side and let the group talk amongst themselves. Now back at home, sitting together on their bed, they process the conversation they just shared with Amanda, letting it sink in. Ian's leaning against their headboard, Mickey resting his head against Ian’s ribs, tracing the tattoo of his name as it peeks through the waistband of Ian’s jeans. Something about his name being on Ian's body calms him when he sees it. As though the repetitive motion of tracing the M-I-C-K-E-Y settles his brain and clears it of the noise.</p><p>
  
</p><p>“I feel like this is a dream.” Ian’s hand runs through Mickey’s hair. Soothing them both.</p><p>“Ow, what the fuck?”</p><p>“If you were dreaming, you wouldn’t have felt me pinching you.”</p><p>“You didn’t have to <em>actually</em> pinch me. I know I’m awake, Mickey.”</p><p>Mickey shrugs as best as he can.</p><p>“Do you think it’s a boy or a girl?”</p><p>“Would you believe me if I said I didn’t mind either way?”</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“Yeah. I mean, I used to think having a girl would be like throwing me in the ocean and expecting me to swim, you know. I know nothing about girls and it’s not like Mandy and I grew up with the type of relationship you have with all your sisters.”</p><p>Ian continues to stroke Mickey’s hair.</p><p>“But after spending time with Franny, doesn’t seem like it would be that bad.”</p><p>“And if it was a boy?”</p><p>“Well, of course, it would be easier, we know how the male body works, so, yeah.”</p><p>“We could call him Finn.”</p><p>“What’s with you Gallagher’s and the letter F. You know you have twenty-five other letters you can pick from, right.”</p><p>“How about a Ukraine name then, like, oh - Nadiya if we have a girl.”</p><p>“Do you want our daughter to be a stripper? Because with a name like that she is heading straight for the pole.”</p><p>Ian yanks on Mickey’s hair.</p><p>“Don’t talk about our daughter being a stripper.”</p><p>“Then don’t think of trashy names. And stay away from anything Ukraine, it’s not like I go by Mikhailo.”</p><p>They sit there in comfortable silence for a few minutes, basking in the moment.</p><p>“How about an Irish name? Might be the only connection they have to you if it doesn’t come out a ginger.”</p><p>“Hmm, like Callum? Aiden? Oh, Rory. That could work for a girl or a boy.”</p><p>“Rory Gallagher?”</p><p>“I’m pretty sure Rory means red too.”</p><p>“Yeah, hard pass.”</p><p>“We’ve got two months to decide. I can pick up a book on the way home from work.”</p><p>“Here we go, already starting with the books. Next thing you know I’m going to come home and find ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting’ on the bedside table.”</p><p>“Oh, I should see if they have that one.”</p><p>“I was kidding.”</p><p>“I wasn’t.”</p><p>Mickey wraps his arm around Ian’s waist, using his strength to roll Ian’s body from one side of the mattress to the other. Ian’s back is flat on the mattress, Mickey straddling his hips as he rolled with Ian to make sure he landed on top, pinning Ian's hands above his head.</p><p>“I love seeing you this happy.”</p><p>“Being with you makes me happy, Mick.”</p><p>“I know. But this is just different. It’s like-”</p><p>“Realising everything you ever dreamed of is actually possible.”</p><p>“Yeah, something like that.”</p><p>Green meets blue. Their smiles are kind and loving.</p><p>“Two months.”</p><p>“Two months…”</p><p>*</p><p>“Gallagher, in my office.”</p><p>“Which one?”</p><p>“Both of you.”</p><p>Ian and Mickey stop loading the pallets, glancing at each other as they head into Jackson’s office.</p><p>“Close the door.”</p><p>Ian closes the door behind him, taking a seat in the empty chair beside Mickey.</p><p>“Can you explain to me this request for your schedules? When you first started working you wanted the same shifts. Then you came to me asking for rotating shift while family was visiting, so I did. Then you wanted to go back to the same schedule and I did the best that I could. But now,<em> now</em> you want opposite shifts each day and to then rotate the following week?”</p><p>“Yep, that’s right.”</p><p>“Pretty straight forward if you ask me.”</p><p>Jackson exhales and leans back into his chair.</p><p>“I can’t keep moving you guys around. I like you both, you're two of my best workers but people are going to start thinking that I’m giving you special treatment.”</p><p>“We understand, really. And we appreciate how accommodating you’ve been, but this will be the last time, at least for a while.”</p><p>Jackson looks at them, wary of their request.</p><p>“You two aren’t getting a divorce are ya? Opposite schedules, you trying to avoid each other or something?”</p><p>“Ha, no. That’s not it”</p><p>“Then what is it? You want me to approve the request then I got to know the reason.”</p><p>“We’ve-”</p><p>“We’re about to become parents. Ian and I just got matched at an adoption agency.”</p><p>“We need the schedule change so one of us can stay at home while the other works, then rotate.”</p><p>“Well, I’ll be damned.”</p><p>“Do people actually say that shit?”</p><p>Ian kicks Mickey in the leg.</p><p>“Well if that’s not a good enough reason, I don’t know what is. Leave it with me. Only leaves a gap in a few of your current shifts so it shouldn’t be too hard to change around.”</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“I got three kids. I know what it’s like.”</p><p>“Thank you, Jackson.”</p><p>“Yeah, man. We appreciate it.”</p><p>“Don’t mention it.”</p><p>They stand to leave. Ian puts his hand on the door, about to open it when Jackson speaks up again.</p><p>“You could always name the kid after me, you know. To say thank you or whatnot.”</p><p>They can’t tell if he is joking or series. Mickey turns to Ian, hoping he has a way to get out of this awkward moment they feel stuck in.</p><p>“Ah, I’m just kidding. Get outta here you two. Go finish your delivery.”</p><p>Ian and Mickey bolt out of Jackson’s office before he can say another word.</p><p>*</p><p>Each morning, Ian wakes up with a little extra spring in his step, counting down the days till he gets that call from Amanda, letting them know it’s time. Debbie dropped off Franny’s old bassinet a few days after they shared the news, along with some old clothes she found in the attic that would fit a newborn.</p><p>Ian stops by the thrift shop and sorts through everything, making sure he doesn’t leave until he’s searched every inch of the store. It marvels him at the number of clothes he’s found with the original price tags still intact. He finds a book titled ‘What to Expect When You’re Adopting’ and can’t help but laugh as he leaves it on the bedside table for Mickey to come across.</p><p>On the weekends, Ian puts Mickey to work.</p><p>“What colour are we painting the walls if we don’t know the gender?”</p><p>“I was thinking a pastel turquoise.”</p><p>“So, green.”</p><p>“Not green, more teal.”</p><p>Ian shows the paint swatch he selected from the colour charts Lip still had from renovating his house.</p><p>“Alright. I’ll go pick some up.”</p><p>“I’ll come. We still need to stop by the shops, get some pacifiers, nappies, wipes, rash cream-”</p><p>Mickey is watching Ian list each item while counting them on his fingers.</p><p>“Hey, calm down. We still have time.”</p><p>“We have a month left, Mickey. And that’s only if she doesn’t go into early labour.”</p><p>“Or, she could go over and it could be another two months.”</p><p>“They don’t let pregnant women go more than ten days over their due date, Mick.”</p><p>“How would you know?”</p><p>“Read it while studying for my EMT exam.”</p><p>“Huh.”</p><p>“Mickey!”</p><p>“Ok, ok, this is the plan. We’ll go get the paint and pick up whatever we can today. Tomorrow we paint, let the room air out and then next weekend we can set everything up.”</p><p>Tilting his head gently from left to right, he calculates everything that needs to be done in the timeline Mickey has suggested. Ian decides that he can agree to Mickey’s plan.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s it, Ian. You’re banned from buying anything else baby related.”</p><p>“Come on, I didn’t buy <em>that </em>much stuff.”</p><p>Dumping four bags onto their kitchen counter, Mickey heads back to the elevator to retrieve the other two, after Ian drops three more on the kitchen floor.</p><p>“Yeah okay, I may have gone overboard.”</p><p>“You don’t say.”</p><p>“I just wanted to make sure we’re prepared.”</p><p>“I get that, but five types of pacifiers, Ian. Really?”</p><p>“They might not like the feel of the other. See this one is a round shape, while this one is more oval. Oh and this one says most realistic to a nipple.”</p><p>“Our baby is never going to have a nipple so why does that matter?”</p><p>“Right. Ok, fine, but still, the extra bottles are worth it. The last thing we want to be doing is sterilising a bottle in the middle of the night because we ran out.”</p><p>“Why are we sterilising bottles, don’t you just wash them under hot water?”</p><p>“If it was breastmilk, yeah. But using baby formula means you need to sterilising the bottle after each use.”</p><p>Mickey scratches the top of his head. The information overload is starting to overwhelm him.</p><p>“Did you not read that book I left out for you?”</p><p>“Wait, you actually wanted me to read that? I thought it was a joke.”</p><p>Ian rolls his eyes and throws his hands in the air, looking like he is surrendering and giving up. He picks up a few of the bags and marches into their bedroom, slamming the door behind him as he leaves Mickey standing in their kitchen.</p><p>“What the fuck just happened?” Mickey whispers under his breath.</p><p>He decides to let Ian cool off a little. Mickey takes the paint tin, carrying it into the second bedroom, and starts to move the furniture away from the walls.</p><p> </p><p>Ian’s sitting on their bed. The baby clothes lay in a pile near his feet, ready to take to the Gallagher house so he can wash them when they have their next family catch up. Trying to calm his racing mind, Ian picks up his latest book, “The First Six Weeks,” and continues reading. Ian doesn’t notice that he’s locked himself away for the last three hours until he hears a knock at the door. He glances up, his husband’s head peeking through the gap, making sure he is safe from any throwing objects Ian may want to hurl at him.</p><p>“I don’t have a white flag to wave around.”</p><p>“Ha Ha, Mick. It’s fine.”</p><p>He pushes the door all the way open and stands at the side of the bed.</p><p>“Mind telling me what happened back there?”</p><p>Ian folds the corner of the page he is reading so he can return to it later.</p><p>“I just feel like, maybe you’re not taking this as seriously as I am.”</p><p>“Is this all because I didn’t read the damn book.”</p><p>“Yes."</p><p>"It's a book, Ian. I don't remember Lip or Debbie ever reading one."</p><p>"Taking care of a baby is not a joke, Mickey. There is so much we need to know"</p><p>"No shit it's not a joke. Is this really what you're worried about?"</p><p>"Among other things."</p><p>“Oh, like what?” Mickey doesn’t mean to raise his voice, automatically crossing his arms against his chest.</p><p>“Like, like-”</p><p>“Spit it out, Gallagher”</p><p>“Like the fact that when I’m at work, I want to be able to know you’re not going to hurt our child.”</p><p>Mickey raises his eyebrows at Ian. Anger boils inside him. Mickey doesn’t want to do anything he’ll regret, so this time, he is the one to turn around and storm out of the room.</p><p>“Shit. Mickey. I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant.”</p><p>Mickey takes a beer from the fridge. He’d rather walk out and head to a bar but they promised after they were married not to walk away from one another when they start to fight, the separation only making things worse.</p><p>“Mickey, let me explain.”</p><p>“What’s there to explain? You think I’m going to be a shitty father that’s going to neglect our child. Why don’t you just call me Terry fucking Milkovich.”</p><p>Ian wants to punch himself in the face. He thinks back to when Mickey confessed his fear of being a father, of one day ending up like Terry. And here Ian is, bringing those fears back to the surface because of a stupid comment.</p><p>“Mickey.”</p><p>“I’ll probably burn their mouth because I’ll forget to check the milk on my wrist. Right? Oh, or how about when I put them to bed, I’ll lay them on their stomach and not their back, so they’ll suffocate in their sleep.”</p><p>“Mickey, stop!”</p><p>“Maybe I’ll just let them scream in their crib, hungry and cold so I can drink some beers and pass out while I catch up on some sleep.”</p><p>Mickey runs his left hand through his hair, pulling at it slightly, needing to feel the burn, the pain, something to keep him grounded and in the present, the fear of slipping into his past threatening to take over. He wants to throw his beer bottle at the wall as memories of Terry hit him like a tidal wave. Nights of being left alone in the house with no food, shivering cold from the heat being shut off. - <em>Mickey</em> <em>tries to swim to the surface but another wave crashes down on him. - </em>Remembering how he would scream in pain when Terry overheated the food, forcing him to swallow it, only to take it away and let him starve when Mickey refused to eat. -<em>A breath of air hits his lungs just in time before a wave pushes him under.- </em>Trying to secretly clean his sheets as a kid when he had a nightmare and would wet the bed. Mickey fearing the monster in his life far worse than anything in his dreams. But nothing could ever get past Terry. He’d hold Mickey’s arm out, burning his cigarette butt into his skin, screaming at Mickey for being a pussy even in his sleep. -<em>With no more strength left, he’s ready for the waves to take him under.-</em></p><p><em>“</em>Mickey!<em>”</em></p><p>He looks up and sees Ian standing right in front of him. He wonders when Ian moved from standing near the couches to holding his arms down near his waist and pinning him against the kitchen wall. The beer bottle lays on the floor near his feet, liquid pooling on the tiles beside him.</p><p>“Breathe, Mick. You’re safe. You’re with me.”</p><p>The fight leaves Mickey’s body, his muscles relaxing under Ian’s hold. But he still can’t bring himself to look his husband in the eye.</p><p>“Where'd you go just then?” Ian whispers the words.</p><p>"They didn't call it the Milkovich house of horrors for nothing, Ian."</p><p>Ian is scared to ask, but he has to.</p><p>"Those things...did Terry...?"</p><p>Mickey nods.</p><p>“Fuck, Mick. I had no idea.”</p><p>“His abuse came in all different forms Ian, as young as I can remember.”</p><p>Rage seeps into Ian. He reminds himself that Terry is dead, but part of him wishes he was alive so he could beat the shit out of him for hurting Mickey. Flashes of Mickey as a child, hurt and crying flood his vision and he has to bite back the tears, needing to be strong for his husband.</p><p>“I hate how much Terry hurt you. It makes me sick and I just wish we were closer back then so I could've helped you. Take you out of there, bring you to our house to keep you safe.”</p><p>Mickey doesn’t answer.</p><p>“How things would have been different. Maybe you wouldn’t have had to grow up so afraid, having my family and Fiona be there for you. We could have had sleepovers and walked to school together. Maybe even continue playing little league.”</p><p>Ian envisions a world where Mickey was his best friend from the minute they met. From middle school onwards, nothing separating them as they tackle the world together. He wonders if Mickey would have been his first instead of Roger Spikey and how he could have helped Mickey avoid the life of crime Terry forced him into. How things would have been so different, but he knows, which every path they had been given, they still would have ended up here.</p><p>“Mickey. Look at me. You’re <em>not </em>Terry. You hear me. You’re <em>nothing</em> like him.”</p><p>Mickey scoffs. Ian puts his hand on Mickey’s chin, forcing him to look up so he can see the honesty on Ian’s face.</p><p>“I was a fucking idiot, okay. Forget what I said before. I didn’t mean it.”</p><p>“But you said it, Ian. And if you said it, then part of you has doubts about trusting me to be alone with our child.”</p><p>“I-”</p><p>“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”</p><p>Mickey pulls out of Ian’s grip, putting distance between them. He runs his hands down his face, building up whatever energy he has left.</p><p>“It’s not that I don’t trust you. It’s that under any other circumstances, a parent would be allowed to make mistakes. But if we fuck up, even once. We could lose it all.”</p><p>Ian slowly walks towards Mickey, making sure he is comfortable with him closing the gap between them. He takes a seat, leaving Mickey to continue standing.</p><p>“One accident, even minor, and DCFS will be at our door.” Ian lets out a sigh.</p><p>“We’re adopting a child. That means eyes will be constantly on us. Throw in the fact that we have a messy history, we live in the South Side and we are two gay men. That there is the perfect case file to investigate.”</p><p>Mickey takes a seat on the couch opposite Ian.</p><p>“You don’t think I fucking know that, Ian?”</p><p>“I know you do. It was my own fears being projected onto you.”</p><p>“You don’t say.” Mickey thumbs his bottom lip.</p><p>“I didn’t grow up raising my siblings like you did. We had to take care of ourself or we were done for.”</p><p>“I know. I’m sorry.”</p><p>“I might not know as much as you, Ian. The fancy shit about bottles and pacifiers, but I know the basics.”</p><p>They sit in silence for a moment.</p><p>“I’m sorry that I assumed you knew nothing.”</p><p>Mickey lifts his head and looks at Ian.</p><p>“Just then, seems like you know some pretty important partnering tips about milk temperature and sleeping.”</p><p>“Yeah, well, as I said, I know some.”</p><p>Silence falls between them again, but the air doesn’t feel as thick. Both of them find it easier to breathe. Mickey waits a couple more minutes before standing and looking down at Ian.</p><p>“Stand up.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Just, stand up and follow me.”</p><p>Ian follows Mickey with his eyes as he walks towards the second bedroom. Mickey waits, his hand on the doorknob, seeing the curiosity on his husband's face.</p><p>“While you were in our room, I was in this one.”</p><p>He opens the door and steps to the side, giving Ian the chance to walk in first and take it all in. The pastel teal walls make the room look bigger. The window is letting in a cool breeze, airing the room of paint fumes as the curtains gently blowing from the wind. The crib is back against the wall, enough space to still be able to open the wardrobe with the baby monitor secured to the wall looking into it. The changing table is set up on the right side corner of the window, still leaving space for that rocking chair Ian keeps picturing for the space on the left.</p><p>Ian notices some shapes painted on the wall above the crib. He walks through the threshold, resting his hands on the railing as he studies the wall. In darker shades of teal, grey, and white, a baby elephant sitting on a cloud, surrounded by various sized stars and clouds is painted onto the wall. A grey moon is painted to the left with the words “You are loved little one” written above the whole mural.</p><p>“Mickey, this is-”</p><p>“I saw the artwork online. They were asking for a shit tone of money for a couple of prints, so I figured I could paint them myself since they were basic enough. Practiced drawing it a few times before painting it on the wall, but yeah.”</p><p>He scratches his temple, not ready to look Ian in the eye, nervous about having his work on display for everyone to see when they visit. No one besides Ian knows he likes to draw, paint, and create. It started as a way to pass time in prison. Then a way to make the lonely nights in Mexico go faster for him. Now he does it to relax, proud that he has designed something for his child to cherish. </p><p>“It’s beautiful.”</p><p>Mickey shrugs off the compliment.</p><p>“I’m serious, Mick. You should be doing this, not packing food boxes at a factory.”</p><p>“When drawing can bring in a steady income and stability for our family, sure. Until then, I’m fine doing it to pass the time.”</p><p>Ian turns back to the wall, admiring the artwork his husband created for their child to look at. They no longer have a second bedroom, they have a nursery. Now they just have to wait for their bundle of joy to come into this world.</p><p>*</p><p>“Seriously, Debbie? It’s one dinner.”</p><p>“Sure, this time it’s one dinner. Then it becomes two, then suddenly it’s been six months since you have seen your own family, too wrapped up playing house with your husband and kid.”</p><p>“We have two weeks left until the baby is due. Can’t you just spare us this once so we can finish getting things organised?”</p><p>“Ian, two hours out of your day to have dinner with your family is not going make a difference. Trust me. You’re going to spend the next few years having your plans thrown out the window. Enjoy the routine while you can.”</p><p>“Actually, I was reading this book that suggested-”</p><p>“IAN!”</p><p>“Fuck. Alright. 5pm, we’ll be there.”</p><p>Putting his phone down, he checks the time on the screen.</p><p>“Mick, I couldn’t get out of it.”</p><p>“Told you. Little Red is anal about those family dinners.”</p><p>“Said we’d be there at five.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>Wondering why he is having to yell out to his husband, Ian stands and walks towards their bedroom where Mickey has been hiding out for the last hour. He pushes the door open and finds Mickey with a highlighter between his lips, another in his hand, and Ian’s copy of “The First Six Weeks” laying open in his lap.</p><p>“Mick, whatcha doin?”</p><p>“It says here that we should use bath time as a way to get our baby into a bedtime routine.”</p><p>“Ah-huh.”</p><p>“The warm water relaxes them, making them sleepy. Then, we feed them, put them to bed and they learn that after bath time, it’s time to sleep.”</p><p>Ian can’t help but smile.</p><p>“You’re reading the book.”</p><p>“Don’t act all surprised.”</p><p>"This isn't because of what I said, is it?" Ian still feels guilty. If Mickey wants to read the book, that's great. But he doesn't want Mickey to feel forced into it so he can prove something to Ian.</p><p>"No, Ian. It's because I know the basics. And like you pointed out, there are a few more things I should probably know more about." Mickey looks back down at the book and continues to read.</p><p>Watching his husband turn the page, swapping the yellow highlighter in his hand for the pink one in his mouth, Ian decides to leave him to it until they need to leave for dinner.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Two hours, that’s it. The minute the clock strikes seven we are out of here.”</p><p>“What’s with the mad rush to leave? You normally love spending time with your family.”</p><p>“They have a sale down at that furniture place that ends tonight and I want to get a rocking chair for the nursery.”</p><p>Mickey cocks an eyebrow.</p><p>“Ian Gallagher, getting a hard-on for home furniture.”</p><p>“Fuck off.” Ian pushes Mickey in the arm, hoping he doesn’t catch the way his joke made Ian laugh.</p><p>Stepping out of the car, Ian swings his arm over Mickey’s shoulders as they walk up the front steps and head into the Gallagher house.</p><p>They had barely walk through the threshold as the Gallagher’s, Kevin, and Veronica welcome them with a scream.</p><p>“SURPRISE!”</p><p>“What the fuck?”</p><p>Wands of confetti are being shot out towards Ian and Mickey, the house filled with congratulation balloons and a banner hanging from the archway between the living room and the kitchen with the words “Baby Shower” printed across it.</p><p>“Really guys?”</p><p>“Don’t act like you don’t love it.”</p><p>The smile on Ian and Mickey’s face is enough to show how much they appreciate the sentiment.</p><p>“Okay, presents first because this one can’t wait.” Debbie points her thumb over her shoulder.</p><p>Watching everyone turn towards the kitchen, Mickey can’t believe his eyes as he watches his sister jump out from behind the archway.</p><p>“What’s up asshats?”</p><p>Rushing towards her, Mickey wraps Mandy in his arms and spins her around on the spot. All he’s been wanting to do is share this moment with his sister. He’s about to become a father and part of him knows that none of this would be happening if it weren’t for the support and encouragement she gave him, helping him wash away his fears and doubts.</p><p>“Bitch, why didn’t you tell me you were coming down?”</p><p>The banter that starts up between them as he sets her back down on her feet, fills that void of what he’s been missing.</p><p>“PO gave me the go-ahead a few weeks ago. Was planning to come down when the baby was born but when Debs told me about the party, figured I could stretch for some extra time.”</p><p>“Hey, Mands.”</p><p>Ian brings her in for a hug. The Gallagher’s are just as much Mickey’s family as they are his, but knowing Mickey has another Milkovich here to share this moment with means more to his husband than he would ever let on.</p><p>“Glad you could be here.”</p><p>“Wouldn’t miss it for the world. Not even my PO could stop me from meeting my little niece or nephew.”</p><p>“Ha, well you’re a bit early still.”</p><p>Mandy shrugs her shoulders.</p><p>“I was due for a vacation anyway.”</p><p>“Where are you staying?”</p><p>“Here. Debbie offered me a room since it’s not as crowded anymore.”</p><p>“Alright, alright. You can catch up later. More gifts.”Veronica grabs both of their hands, leading them to the couch to take a seat.</p><p>“You guys really didn’t need to do this.”</p><p>“Hey, if they wanted to buy us gifts, why should we stop them.”</p><p>“Mickey, you do know by gifts they mean for the baby, right.”</p><p>“Wait, seriously?”</p><p>“Sorry, bro. It’s a baby shower, not your birthday.”</p><p>“Goddamnit. Fine. Who’s first?”</p><p>“Me, me, me.” Franny takes the gift from Debbie’s hands, skipping over to her uncles as she places it in their laps.</p><p>“I picked this one all on my own.”</p><p>“Then I already know we’re going to love it, Firefly.”</p><p>With her hands behind her back, Franny stands between them both, swaying from side to side as she patiently waits for them to unwrap the gift. It takes them a moment to read the box, Franny deciding that it's taking too long so she jumps in to explain it.</p><p>“It’s a plaster kit. You can make a mold of my cousin’s hand and foot when they’re born.”</p><p>“No, shit?” Mickey is actually impressed at the thought she put into the gift. He was expecting a picture frame or some kind of toy.</p><p>“This is a beautiful idea, Firefly.”</p><p>Ian leans forward, scooping his niece into his arms. She kneels on the couch between her uncles, wrapping an arm around each of their necks.</p><p>“Just don’t forget me when the baby arrives.”</p><p>The room breaks out into laughter from Franny’s adorable comment.</p><p>“Wouldn’t dream of it kid.”</p><p>Franny jumps down. Liam goes next, passing his gift to Mickey since he is closest to him.</p><p>“It’s from me and Carl.”</p><p>Mickey opens the envelope, pulling out a voucher for Costco.”</p><p>“Figured you’re going to need to stock up on nappies and wipes and shit.” Carl shrugs his shoulders, showing that he didn't put much effort into the gift, but knew its practicality would be appreciated.</p><p>“You’re not wrong there.”</p><p>“Thanks, guys.”</p><p>Mandy looks like she is bursting at the seams to give them her gift, so Ian motions for her to pass it over. Opening the small gift bag, he pulls out three onesies. A tear threatening to spill as he reads the graphics on each one </p><p>“Read them out loud,” Mandy asks Ian, wanting to share the gift with those in the room.</p><p>“I love my dads.” He turns it around after reading it out loud, showing his family the design as the room breaks out into a chorus of "awws".</p><p>“Sentenced to nine months, released early for good behaviour" That one gets some laughs, even Mickey can't help but appreciate the joke.</p><p>"And the last one says, I’m loved by my two dads.”</p><p>Mickey takes the last one from Ian’s hand so he can look at the design properly. Picturing a little baby in the onesie, the words "I love my two days" laying against their little chest. Mickey can’t believe that he’ll soon be holding their child in his arms. He wanders for a moment about how he got here. How a thug that came from nothing, was worth nothing, suddenly has everything he could want in life. He has love, family, and safety. The three things he would lie in bed dreaming about, knowing that that was all it was ever going to be for him, a dream. </p><p>“Kev, go get ours next.”</p><p>Kevin walks into the kitchen and comes back with a box almost as big as him.</p><p>“Don’t get too excited. The box is mostly packaging.”</p><p>Ian rips the side and sees an image for a car seat.</p><p>“Holy shit. How did we forget a car seat?”</p><p>“Ey, don’t look at me. You have the checklist.”</p><p>“V, this is- thank you. Really.”</p><p>“What about me?”</p><p>“And you too Kev. Thank you for carrying the box.”</p><p>“You’re welcome.”</p><p>The room breaks into laughter at the way Kevin missed the insult gave Mickey him.</p><p>“Okay, now us.” Tami puts Fred on the floor to play, motioning for Lip to head into the kitchen.</p><p>“Seriously? What would you guys have done if we came in through the back? It’s like fuckin’ pandoras box in there. You just keep pulling things out.”</p><p>“We locked it just in case.”</p><p>Lip walks back into the living room, pushing a stroller in front of him.</p><p>“I know we said we had one of Fred’s we could have given you, but we figured a new one would last longer.”</p><p>“No, seriously, this is too much.”</p><p>“Would you just shut up and take it. I’ve already pushed it down the street so the store won’t take it back now anyway.”</p><p>Ian stands up to give his brother a hug. He loves his family. At times, they were all he had. Even when they hated one another, they still had each other's backs. Now, he knows that love and support will be passed on to their child. They’ll have aunties and uncles ready to cheer them on, give advice when they don’t feel like they can talk to either himself or Mick. But most of all, they’ll know that they’ll always have family they can turn to. A family they can rely on.</p><p>Ian lets go and starts to make his way around the room, giving a hug and a thank you to each and every one of them. Feeling obliged to do the same, Mickey stands up and offers a much quicker hug to those around him.</p><p>“Just one more thing.”</p><p>Ian lets his sister go and turns to Mickey.</p><p>“I swear I had no idea about tonight, but, I did have a gift waiting for you.”</p><p>Motioning with his head to walk into the kitchen, Ian cautiously follows Mickey’s instructions, looking around the room at his sibling's faces to try and gauge what is going on. He walks into the kitchen, noticing no gifts sitting on the bench or counter. Confused, he turns around to ask what Mickey is wanting him to look for when he spots it. Sitting under the laundry shoot is a gray Hampton style rocking chair. The exact one Ian saw in the store, knowing they wouldn’t be able to afford it if it weren’t for the sale.</p><p>“How did you?”</p><p>“The sale started a few days ago, but I told <em>you</em> it was only for the weekend. I got Debbie to pick it up and store it here for us.”</p><p>“Go on, test it out.” Debbie pushes the chair out so it has room to rock. Everyone stands around watching as Ian sits in the chair. Franny quickly runs up and jumps onto his lap, curling herself around his waist and nuzzling into his chest. Ian holds onto her, making sure she doesn’t slip off as he begins to rock back and forth.</p><p>“Feels real now, doesn’t it.” Veronica is smiling at Ian.</p><p>“It’s different for men. They say a woman becomes a mother when she falls pregnant, but a man becomes a father when he holds his child in his arms. You’ve been waiting for the moment to hold your child without seeing your partner go through the motions of growing a baby. The reality of it doesn’t hit the same. But I can see it on your face, as you sit there rocking Franny. You’re ready.”</p><p>Veronica watches Ian as his eyes leave Franny and scan the room for his husband. She turns to her left and notices the same look on Mickey’s face. She never knew the full story behind Svetlana and Mickey. She wasn’t surprised when he came out as being gay, always suspecting something between him and Ian. But it did beg the question of how Yev came to be. Even during the time she welcomed Svet in her and Kevin’s life, not once did she confide in them about the story of her marriage to Mickey.</p><p>She has her suspicions. Terry Milkovich was not a kind man and the stories she has heard make her want to hold her baby girls in her arms and not let them go. The fact that neither Ian nor Mickey mention Yevgeny or have tried to reach out to him, to try and be in his life, is enough for Veronica to decide that whatever happened, was not Mickey’s choice.</p><p>“Yeah, we’re ready.” Mickey's voice breaks through her thoughts as he smiles back at Ian. Veronica couldn’t be happier for them. She was proud to see where they are today, about to take this next step together.</p><p>“Can we move on to the food now, I’m starving V.”</p><p>The bubble bursts, everyone remembering that tonight is about food, drinks, and a good old fashion Gallagher celebration. The timer on the oven dings, Liam rushing towards it to pull a premade lasagne out, along with some fries and a packet salad he had sitting in the fridge.</p><p>“You can dish up yourself. I’m not the butler.”</p><p>Everyone grabs a plate of food, finds a place to sit, and crowds around the table. They enjoy their last meal before they welcome a new addition to the family.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Early the next morning, Ian’s phone is blowing up. The constant vibration against the wooden bedside table waking him from his peaceful sleep. They ended up staying longer than the original two hours Ian had assigned to the night. Stumbling through their door around midnight with their rocking chair in tow, they positioned the chair in the corner, right near the window where Ian had envisioned it sitting, and scurrying off to bed before either of them passed out on the floor.</p><p>Ian picks up his phone, his head still resting on the pillow as he swipes it and brings it to his ear.</p><p>“Ello?”</p><p>“Ian… Hi. I’m-I’m so sorry to call you this early… in the morning.”</p><p>Amanda’s voice rings through Ian’s ear, the cheerfulness in her voice he has always welcomed is nowhere to be heard.</p><p>“Amanda? Is-is everything okay? Is it time?”</p><p>There is a silence between them. Ian’s heart begins to race. Too scared to speak in case he talks over the top of Amanda, missing what she has called to speak to him about.</p><p>“Beth went into labour at 1am this morning. When the baby was born, she decided that she no longer wanted to go ahead with the adoption.”</p><p>Ian feels like a bucket of cold ice water has been dumped over his body. This can’t be happening. They were so close, only for it all to be taken away from them.</p><p>“I’m so sorry, Ian. Legally, after the child is born, the family have up to seventy-two hours to change their mind about going through with the adoption process.”</p><p>Amanda’s words are starting to sound muffled as the cold water swallows him. The weights around his legs pull at him, dragging Ian into the dark water below the surface. Holding his breath as he keeps his head underwater, hoping not to drown. He's straining to hear her words, deciphering what it is she is saying to him through the vibrations of the water.</p><p>“I have put your application back in our system, giving you the opportunity to be matched with another family.”</p><p>“What was it?” His words are soft, barely audible.</p><p>“Ex-excuse me?”</p><p>“The baby. What did she have?”</p><p>Legally Amanda can not disclose any information now that the adoption has been terminated. However, the monotone voice coming through the phone breaks her heart. Knowing how much Ian and Mickey were looking forward to starting a family, having their chance at happiness after the life they have battled together, she couldn’t help but think, “fuck the rules”</p><p>“A boy. She had a baby boy.”</p><p>Ian hangs up the phone, disconnecting himself from any further discussion on the matter, no longer needing to hear what Amanda has to say. He switches his phone off, lays back down, and allows the darkness of the room to take him away as he sinks down to the bottom of the ocean.</p><p> </p><p>His bladder is what wakes him first. Not the late morning sun peaking through their curtains or the coldness against his back from the lack of body heat Mickey is used to having wrapped around him. He shuffles to the bathroom to take a piss, the relief causing a small moan to escape his lips. Back in the bedroom, at a small glance, it looks as though Ian is still asleep. Mickey decides to makes them some breakfast, knowing Ian has a list of things he still wants to get done around the apartment.</p><p>Opening the fridge to get the ingredients to make banana pancakes, he reads over the checklist Ian has attached to the refrigerator door.</p><p>
  <em> <strike>Paint Nursery</strike> </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strike>Sterilise bottles</strike> </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strike>Wash clothes</strike> </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Rocking chair</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Baby proof apartment</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hang glowing stars from the ceiling</em>
</p><p>Mickey chuckles at the fact that this is the third list Ian has created since Amanda called to inform them that they were matched. He picks up the pen and puts a line through "rocking chair," remembering the look it brought to Ian’s face when he was surprised with it the night before. He whips up the batter, turning on the stove to let the pan warm up. Any minute now Amanda could be calling them, letting them know it’s time to head on down to the hospital. Mickey figures the best way to be productive on their day off is if he starts putting the glowing stars on the ceiling while Ian heads down to the store for baby-proof products. Mickey didn’t realise a baby could hurt themselves on so many objects until he saw the list of products available for them to buy. </p><p>He dishes up two pancakes on a plate for each of them, a cup of coffee and a glass of orange juice. He places it on the tray he brought with him from the Gallagher house, excited to surprise Ian with breakfast in bed.</p><p>“Rise and shine sleeping beauty. Time to fuel up before a big day.”</p><p>Ian doesn’t move.</p><p>“Hey, come on man. Normally the smell alone gets you out of bed.”</p><p>Ian pulls the blanket over his head, rolling over, presenting his back to Mickey.</p><p>Mickey’s heart is in his throat.</p><p>“<em>Hey, hey you okay?”</em></p><p>
  <em>“Feeling sick or something”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Leave me alone.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“It could be Bipolar disease like our mum.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“It’s like high-highs followed by low-lows over and over again.”</em>
</p><p>The memory from almost six years ago haunts Mickey to this day.</p><p>“No, no, no, no, no. Not today, Ian. Please.” He whispers the words to himself, trying to find a place to put the food so it doesn’t get knocked over. He crouches down to Ian’s level, running his fingers through Ian’s hair, hoping the touch will cause him to turn back around and face him.</p><p>“Hey, Ian. Look at me. Please.” His voice is pleading like he is talking to a wounded animal.</p><p>“I can’t.” Mickey has to strain his ears to hear him, but the words registered none the less.</p><p>“It’s okay. I’m here. Did you take your pills?”</p><p>“Just go, Mickey.” The words have no emotion in them, no energy. Hearing them fall from Ian's lips opens a wound inside of Mickey that has never fully healed. He pushes himself to stay calm. For Ian. For himself.</p><p>“I’m not going anywhere.”</p><p>“I SAID GO! GET OUT! I’M NOT WORTH IT!”</p><p>Ian abruptly rolls over to face Mickey, the sudden jolt causing Mickey to lose his balance as his hand falls away from where it’s resting in Ian’s hair. Ian’s eyes lock on to Mickey’s. The life he sees in them every day is gone, replace by a blank haze. Ian turns back around, burying his head under the blanket, shutting Mickey out completely.</p><p>Mickey stands up, exiting the bedroom door and closing it behind him. He runs his hand down his face and cups his mouth. He doesn’t know where to start. Ian is having an episode, but why? Last night he was happy. They were in a good place, excited for what’s to come. He walks into the bathroom through the adjoining door from the nursery. He rummages through the cabinet and finds Ian’s meds, all the pills accounted for. He considers the possibility of Ian’s body building up a tolerance to his current cocktail of medication, it can happen, it <em>has</em> happened, but this soon after the last adjustment doesn’t seem right. </p><p>Walking back into the living room, panic sets in. Mickey knows what to do, he knows how to help Ian, but he needs help himself. The fear of what happened all those years ago begins to cloud his thoughts. He picks up his phone and dials Mandy. He can’t go through this alone. Not again. She picks up on the third ring, voices in the background indicating that she is chatting with Debbie, Carl, and Liam.</p><p>“Hey bro, what’s up?”</p><p>“I need your help, Mands.”</p><p>“What’s happened?” The panic in her voice set's Mickey off. If there is one thing his sister knows best about Mickey, it's that he never asks for help unless it's the last resort.</p><p>“I woke up and he was just laying there. He wouldn’t move. He won’t talk to me.”</p><p>“Whoa, Mickey. Slow down. What’s going on?”</p><p>He breathes in through his nose and then out through his mouth. He needs to stay calm.</p><p>“Ian. He's - he’s in a depressive state.”</p><p>“Shit. Um, okay. I’ll be right over.”</p><p>“Don’t tell the others. You know how they can get.”</p><p>“Fine. But you need to call the agency.”</p><p>“What? Why?”</p><p>“Mickey, if you get called into the hospital and Ian is like this, they need to know. You said it yourself, they needed to be constantly updated. This won’t change anything, trust me. I’ll be there soon.”</p><p>Mandy hangs up. Mickey knows she’s right. It would be concerning to the agency if he showed up by himself the day their child is born, no Ian insight. But what if he tells Amanda and Ian pulls through before they get the call? It could put doubt in her mind. Concern about putting a child in their care. No. He can’t think that way. Mickey will help Ian get his meds adjusted and he’ll balance out. He wants to do this right and that means being honest with the agency.</p><p>He sits down and dials Amanda, making a note to then call Ian’s doctor.</p><p>“Hello, Amanda speaking.”</p><p>“Amanda. Hey, Mickey Gallagher.”</p><p>“Oh…Mickey.” Her tone drops. Her friendly telephone voice vanishes, replaced with sorrow. Mickey thinks nothing of it, too focused on the other issues on his mind.</p><p>“I ah, just wanted to let you know that, Ian woke up feeling sick this morning. So, if you hear about our match going into labour, it may just be me who will be coming to the hospital.”</p><p>“I-Mickey, I don’t understand. I spoke to Ian this morning.”</p><p>“You did?” A chill hits the air.</p><p>“Yes. I explained to him that the mother has decided to keep the child. I’m sorry. Did he not tell you?”</p><p>Amanda’s words hit Mickey's ears as his mind registers what she's saying. His chest feels constricted as he tries to breathe, he wants to stay calm on the phone, save his breakdown for when he can hang up and be alone. The pain starts to take over. It’s a pain he hasn’t felt in a long time. An agony inside of him that he had hoped he’d never feel again. It's the feeling of his heart shattering into tiny little pieces. Unfortunately, Mickey knows the feeling well. Over the years he has tried to mend the damage, but a piece has always been missing. He's never fully been able to put it back together in its entirety. This is just another hole that will forever be in Mickey's heart. </p><p>“No, he ah, has been, vomiting all morning. Food poisoning. Hasn’t had a chance.”</p><p>The silence on the phone is awkward. Neither of them knowing what to say next.</p><p>“Some flat lemonade should do the trick. Ease the stomach. I’ll be in touch if I hear of another match. Again, I’m sorry about this, but it can happen from time to time.”</p><p>“Yeah, of course. We understand. Thanks…”</p><p>Mickey hangs up, opening his messages, he writes one to Mandy.</p><p><b>Mickey: (12.13pm):</b> Don’t come.</p><p><b>Mandy: (12.13pm):</b> What? Why?</p><p><b>Mickey: (12.13pm): </b>It’s fine. Explain later.</p><p>His phone starts ringing. He lets it go to voicemail. Mandy can wait. Everything can wait as a tear rolls down his’s cheek.</p><p> </p><p>Slowly walking towards the nursery, he puts his hand on the doorknob and pulls it closed, shutting away that part of their life. Turning around, Mickey leans his back against the door. His legs give out from under him. He slides down, crashing onto the ground the same way his world is crashing around him. Emotions are running wild. Anger is making its way to the surface, winning over all the rest- anger always wins. Mickey slams his head back, hitting the door. It feels good, too good. He does it again, a small dull throb forming where his skull meets timber. It’s not enough though. He elbows the door. First with his left, then his right, until he is thrashing against the door with every available part of his body. He welcomes the pain, the physical masking the emotional. He doesn't want to feel the pain like he does in his chest, he wants to feel his muscles hurt, his body ache. He wants to feel like he took a beating so it can cover the sadness, hopelessness, and disappointment that's threatening to eat away at him.</p><p>He stops.</p><p>Panting, trying to get oxygen into his lungs, he takes joy in the way he has abused his body.</p><p>Sorrow now replacing his anger, Mickey pulls his knees to his chest, his elbows leaning on them for support as his palms press into his eyes, hoping the pressure will prevent the tears from falling. It doesn’t.</p><p>Everything they've been working towards, preparing for, in a blink of an eye it’s gone. Taken away from them before it even happened. The room behind Mickey is now a constant reminder of what could have been. Laughing at them. Taunting them with the struggles they will always have to face. Nothing can ever just be easy for them.</p><p>His phone won't stop ringing. With the noise in his head and the ringing of his phone, his mind can only take so much. Mickey snaps. He throws his phone at the wall, watching it crack and smash onto the floor. The ringing has stopped, but there is still so much noise.</p><p>Ian <em>knew</em>. He <em>knew </em>and he didn’t tell Mickey. The news of the mother withdrawing the adoption triggered him and Mickey could have helped. He could have brought Ian back before he walked through the door, crossing the threshold and entering the room filled with darkness that will forever be in his mind. Calling out to him. Trapping him.</p><p>Mickey needs it all to be quiet. For the world to shut up. Just for a second. But his mind won’t allow it.</p><p>
  <em>“Let me take care of him.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You can’t fix me.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“He’s fucking family.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“How do you know you love me?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“It means good times and bad.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I don’t want you sitting around, waiting, watching me, waiting for me to do my next crazy shit.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I promise to cherish you.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I don’t know who I am from one day to the next.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Sickness and in health.”</em>
</p><p>He drags his palms to the side, pulling at his eyes to wipe the tears away. Thumbing at his nose, he looks over at his phone.</p><p>“Fuck.”</p><p>Mickey picks himself up off the floor, pushing his emotions deep inside him - the way he was shown to do when living with Terry - and makes his way back to his husband. Opening the door, he is hit with deja vu.</p><p>
  <em>“Ian, are you high? You take something?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Go away.”</em>
</p><p>He lets out a breath and reminds himself that this will pass. Ian needs him and all of this, this isn’t Ian. Not really. He walks around the bed so he can see his husband’s face. His eyes are open but they don’t move. They don’t even flinch as Mickey puts himself in Ian’s line of sight. He crawls onto their bed. Laying his face on the pillow, he leaves a gap between them, making sure to give Ian his space.</p><p>“I spoke with Amanda.” Mickey’s words are soft. He watches Ian slowly close his eyes and squeeze them tight.</p><p>“This one just wasn’t meant to be, Ian. It wasn’t our time.” Even as the words leave Mickey’s mouth, he wants to punch himself with how cliche they are. How could Ian believe these words if he can’t believe them himself?</p><p>“It’s my fault.”</p><p>Mickey what’s to fight back. Those words make no sense, none of this is on Ian. But he waits. He stays calm.</p><p>“My past has finally caught up to me. Karma. You know, what goes around, comes around.”</p><p>“Ian. You can’t believe that shit.”</p><p>“No? She had a boy, Mick. We could be holding our son, right now. But the universe is punishing me because the last time we had a son, I drove him across state lines and left him in a hot car for twenty minutes.”</p><p>His eyes fill with tears as they threaten to spill over. The tears are not for Yevgeny though, not after learning the truth. No. These tears are for Ian. For the way he's punishing himself for something he has no control over. His mind caused him to behave that way, not him. Mickey knows his husband and he knows how caring and nurturing he is.</p><p>“Ian, hey. Listen to me. That wasn’t you. You know that.”</p><p>Ian tries to bury himself further into the blankets. Mickey reaches out to stop him.</p><p>“No one is punishing you because you have nothing to be punished for. No one was harmed. Yev didn’t get hurt.”</p><p>Ian raises his eyes, green meets blue.</p><p>“You can’t let one mistake outshine all the good you’ve done. You helped raise and take care of your siblings. You became an EMT and saved lives…you saved me.”</p><p>Tears fall from Ian’s face.</p><p>“Mickey.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>As his name falls from Ian’s lips, he knows that he can move forward. He can hold his husband, love him and help bring him back from the darkness that is trying to take over his mind.</p><p>“Who knows how long it will be before we get matched again. <em>If </em>we’ll be matched.”</p><p>“This isn’t the end, Ian. I refuse to believe it. We'll have a family.”</p><p>Ian’s head lays in the crook of Mickey’s neck, finding comfort in the scent of his husband. Mickey runs his fingers through Ian’s hair, holding him, being there for him in any way he can. </p><p>“I’m going to call the clinic. Find out if this was just a trigger or see if your meds need adjusting.”</p><p>“Mickey, please.” His words are muffled against Mickey’s skin.</p><p>“I need you to go, Ian. I need you to fight this. It’s not just about you and me anymore. If we get a phone call tomorrow, you want to be stable don’t you?”</p><p>He nods his head. He hates that his mind has done this, trapped him in this never-ending cycle of feeling worthless, like nothing matters. He never wanted to feel like this again, but the difference is, last time he didn’t have Mickey. Last time he had no one around to help him come back, no one that <em>wanted </em>to help him step away from the darkness that flooded his mind, telling him to do things he would never want to do. But most of all he hates that he has done this to Mickey, hurt him like this, by lashing out and pushing him away. He never wanted to hurt Mickey like that ever again, and yet he has.</p><p>“I love you.” Mickey plants a kiss on Ian’s head.</p><p>“I will <em>always</em> be here to bring you back from the darkness.”</p><p> </p><p>They lay in bed wrapped in each other arms. The sound of their stomachs growling the only indication of how much time has passed.</p><p>“Think you can sit up. Maybe take a shower, eat something?”</p><p>“Ye-yeah.”</p><p>Ian carefully uncurls himself from his husband. Mickey follows behind him, helping him undress and step under the shower. He doesn’t want to leave him alone for long, but he needs to call the clinic before they close for the day. Retrieving Ian’s phone, he waits for it to power up. The home screen is instantly filled with alerts for missed phone calls, voicemails, and text messages. Fucking Mandy. Choosing to ignore them, he makes the call for Ian and is able to get him in first thing in the morning.</p><p>He hangs up, Ian walks into the bedroom with a towel around his waist. Colour is back in his face but Mickey still can’t see his Ian when he looks into those beautiful green eyes. He’s lost somewhere inside that mind of his, trapped, being held captive behind bars with no key insight. Mickey just wants to scream for him to return.</p><p>Sliding on sweat pants and a tank top, Ian leaves the bedroom, sits on the couch, and curls into the corner.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> Mickey follows, making his way into the kitchen to make some food for Ian</span></p><p>“You need to call your family.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“I may have told Mandy, who no doubt told Debbie after she couldn't get in contact with us.”</p><p>Ian frowns, ready to ask when he spots a broken phone laying on the floor near the kitchen.</p><p>“I’ll get a new one tomorrow on our way back from the clinic.”</p><p>“I’m surprised Debbie isn’t knocking down our front door.”</p><p>“I’d say give her another hour and she will be.”</p><p>“Hmph. Guess I better face the music.”</p><p>He sits beside Ian with a peanut butter sandwich and some milk.</p><p>“Eat first. Everyone can wait another minute or two.”</p><p>He takes the plate from his husband.</p><p>“Really, Mick? I’m not a kid.”</p><p>“Don’t knock my peanuts butter sandwiches. They are in high demand no matter the age.”</p><p>It was faint, but a smile appeared on Ian’s face. He takes a small bite, putting the sandwich back on the plate.</p><p>“She called, around, 3am, with the news. I just-froze. It felt like everything was underwater. There was no build-up. No signs like before. I just <em>crashed</em> into darkness.”</p><p>“You had this routine constructed in your head and the news took that away from you.”</p><p>“No, I mean. Yeah - maybe.”</p><p>“Ian. If adopting is putting too much stress on-”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Ian turns so quick to look at Mickey, it gives him whiplash.</p><p>“You want to withdraw our application?”</p><p>“What? Did I say that?”</p><p>“It sure sounded like-”</p><p>“Don’t go putting words into my mouth, Gallagher. Let me finish.”</p><p>He waits to make sure Ian isn’t going to interrupt him again.</p><p>“If adopting is putting too much stress on your mental health, I’m saying we can ask Amanda to hold off putting our application back in the system so quickly. I’m sure she’d understand considering the circumstances.”</p><p>Ian shakes his head.</p><p>“Mick, I’m fine. I promise. I’ll-I’ll go to the clinic. I’ll get my meds checked, I swear. I’m okay.”</p><p>He takes another bite of the sandwich, trying to emphasize his point.</p><p>“It took us this long to get a match. If we ask Amanda to pull our application, by the time we are ready to make it active again, who knows how long it would then take for us to be matched again.”</p><p>Mickey looks down at his hand. He twirls his wedding ring around his finger, hesitant to reply.</p><p>“If I have to pick between you and having a kid. I’ll pick you. Every fucking time.”</p><p>A few tears fall down Mickey's cheeks.</p><p>"You're life revolves around routine, order. Having a kid is going to throw that out the window. I'm not saying you can't handle it, I'm just saying that the unpredictability of what a child will bring to our lives, maybe we aren't as ready as we thought we were."</p><p>"Mickey, please"</p><p>Mickey takes a beat. Willing for the tears to stop before he carries on. </p><p>“I was so fucking scared, Ian. When I saw you like that. Fuck. My mind just went straight back to when…”</p><p>Ian knows when. When they were finally happy. Free. When Ian’s disease took a turn for the worst. That was just the beginning. After that, everything was turned upside down and their relationship was never quite the same. It was this ticking time bomb waiting to go off. They just didn’t know how long was left on the timer. But time apart healed them, as best as it could. Prison healed them. They talked. Explained. Yelled and cried and came to the realisation that neither of them was walking away. Homophobic fathers, Bipolar episodes, ex-wives, forced parenthood, and jail time. Nothing was going to keep them apart. It's them first. Ian and Mickey. Together, fighting against it all side by side.</p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p>“You don’t have to apologise, Ian. <em>Never</em> apologise for being bipolar. What happened today, it scared me, it hurt me, but you did nothing wrong.”</p><p>Ian looks up at the ceiling, ashamed to see the look on his husband's face. Ashamed that because of him, Mickey now has these doubts, about their future, about Ian. </p><p>"I'm not saying no, Ian. Fuck, I could never say no, not to you. And I want this too, you know that. I just don't want to lose you because of this."</p><p>"You won't. I promise. I'll get my meds checked, I'll talk to my therapist. I'm sure it was just a trigger though. The news of what happened...you know."</p><p>Ian moves from the corner. He stretches his body out, laying his head on Mickey’s lap, and closes his eyes. His mind fills with images of a baby boy with green eyes and black hair. They’ll never know what he looked like, but his imagination creates this version that has a little bit of Ian and Mickey fixed together.</p><p>“It’ll happen.” Ian says the words, hoping if he hears his own voice repeat them, that his mind will start to heal. Start to believe it again.</p><p>“Yeah, Ian. It’ll happen.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm sorry. That's it. That's all I have to say. </p><p>Random note, it pained me to write Kevin's text messages incorrectly but I figured that is exactly how he would spell things.</p><p>Artwork Commissioned by myself and designed by the very talented @whatsamattavich. </p><p>The shoe image was taken by the photographer Brooke Whicher. It was for a baby announcement photoshoot she did.</p><p>I'm hoping to have the final chapter up in a week's time if all is going well. Keep an eye on my Twitter @halewolf24 for updates on when the chapter will be up and any future fics I'm working on. (I already have two I'm writing)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Hope</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>When one door closes, another door opens.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for taking this journey with me. We have come to the end and I appreciate every one of you that have read, liked, commented and enjoyed this story.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/><p>Mickey joins his husband on the dance floor, laughing as he watches Ian perform his shoulder shimmy next to Veronica, singing along to some <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xg3vE8Ie_E">Taylor Swift song</a> about Romeo and Juliet. - Okay, maybe he knows all the words to the song, but he is in no way going to be showing a room full of people that he enjoys Queen Swift. Mickey starts doing his little two-step shuffle, throwing in an air guitar here and there or a fist pump. His moves could never compare to the way Ian’s body can move in tune to the music, looking as though the beat is moving his body and not his body moving to the beat.</p><p>For the first time today, Ian looks genuinely happy. No fake smile. No act. It's a glimpse of the Ian Mickey fell in love with as a teenager. The one that didn’t let anything stop him. The boy that laughed at the dumb shit he did in the hopes that it would make Mickey laugh. It was the carefree Ian. The Ian that didn’t have to deal with homophobic fathers that kidnapped and abused him. The Ian before mental illness controlled his life. Before parole controlled his work and failed adoptions broke his heart. But even with all that baggage, Mickey still loves every version of Ian. He knows they’ll have to face so much more together, and no matter what, he will always love him.</p><p>Ian reaches his hand out for Mickey, looking him in the eye as he sings along:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Romeo, save me, they're tryna tell me how to feel</em>
</p><p>
  <em>This love is difficult, but it's real</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It's a love story, baby, just say, "Yes"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Mickey chuckles as he lays his hand in Ian’s. Ian pulls Mickey towards him, arms wrapping around his back, trapping him against his husband as Ian serenades him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Marry me, Juliet</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You'll never have to be alone</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I love you and that's all I really know</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“I wish I could pinpoint the exact moment I realised that I married a dork.”</p><p>“Don’t act like you don’t know all the words, Mick.”</p><p>“Not acting. I’m just choosing to <em>not</em> embarrass myself in a room full of people like you are doing right now.”</p><p>“If I recall, weren’t you the one who spent a week trying to call the radio to win tickets to her concert.”</p><p>“And I would have gotten through had you not decided that was the <em>exact</em> moment you needed to call your sister.”</p><p>“My phone was charging and I had to organise what time she needed me to pick up Franny.”</p><p>“IT WAS RINGING. Every time I called I got the busy signal, but this time, this time it was ringing which meant I had it.”</p><p>Ian laughs at how worked up Mickey gets whenever he is reminded of that day. Mickey put him on a no ass ban for three days, it was hell.</p><p>“How many times do I have to say I’m sorry?” Ian is still laughing, proving to Mickey that even though he says it, he no way believes it.</p><p>“Her music is <em>literally</em> written about us.” Mickey huffs, not at all ashamed about his love for Taylor Swift when talking to his husband.</p><p>The song ends, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvzm3fjtDM0">a soft melody taking over the room</a>. The discussion dies between them, their bodies naturally beginning to sway to the music. Ian’s forehead rests on Mickey’s, his hands gripping a little tighter around his lower back. They both close their eyes, the words washing over them as everything and everyone around them vanishes.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Of all the hopes and dreams I could've prayed for</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Here you are</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“You know you’re the only person I’ve ever loved.” Ian whispers the words. But even with the music around them, Mickey heard what Ian said as if he had shouted it at him.</p><p>They keep swaying to the music.</p><p>“I thought I loved Kash, but that was…”</p><p>“Fucked up?”</p><p>Ian huffs out a laugh.</p><p>“More or less, yeah.”</p><p>Ian takes a moment and then continues.</p><p>“Then Ned, he was just a distraction. I couldn’t fully be with you and the way you acted like what we had was just sex…Ned made me feel wanted, even though I didn’t want him.”</p><p>“Ian.” Mickey sighs his name. Going down memory lane like this is probably not the best idea for Ian. As much as he appreciates hearing the love confession from his husband, it's just more pain that Ian is having to relive.</p><p>“No, let me finish.”</p><p>Maybe it was the song, or maybe it was everything they have gone through in the last year. What they have achieved. Lost. Celebrated or struggled with together. But Ian had to say this.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Tonight it's you and I together</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I'm so glad I'm your man</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“I never told anyone I was with that I loved them because you were the only person that I ever gave my heart to. The rest were an escape. A way to try and move on, to cope. But it’s always been you, Mickey. I was always yours.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>And if I lived a thousand years</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You know I never could explain</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The way I lost my heart to you that day</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But if destiny decided I should look the other way</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Then the world would never know</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The greatest story ever told</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And did I tell you that I love you tonight?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“You’ve always been it for me, Ian. You had me hooked since I saw your freckly face in your baseball uniform."</p><p>Ian pulls his head up and looks at his husband. Surprise on his face.</p><p>"A story for another day. My point is, doesn’t matter how many times I tried to quit you, my body couldn’t let go.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>It's the way we touch that sends me</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It's the way we'll always be</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your kiss, your pretty smile, you know I'd die for</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh baby, you're all I need</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Their moment is ruined when Lip interrupts them, napping Ian on the shoulder to grab his attention.</p><p>“Hey, ah, sorry to break up this moment but, Ian, your phone has been ringing nonstop.”</p><p>Lip passes the phone off to his brother, Ian having left it on the table to go dance. He looks down and sees five missed calls and voicemails from Amanda. Panic and shock run through his body at seeing her name suddenly appear on his phone again. Ian goes to return the call just as it starts ringing, her name appearing once again on the screen. Without any hesitation, he swipes it open and puts the phone to his ear.</p><p>“Hello?”</p><p>“Ian, oh thank god.”</p><p>“Amanda? What’s going on?”</p><p>“I know this is short notice, like, really short notice and I would have called you sooner but the couple just threw a bombshell at me, I swear, that has never happened before in my line of work, and I just-”</p><p>“Amanda!”</p><p>“Right, sorry.”</p><p>Ian’s heart is racing. Mickey is crowding him, needing the contact of Ian against him, but also hoping to hear through the phone what Amanda has called to talk to them about.</p><p>“You’ve been matched. And the mother is in labour right now.”</p><p>“WHAT?!”</p><p>“I’ll explain it all when you get here but I need to know if you and Mickey want to proceed with the adoption.”</p><p>Ian looks at his husband. His blue hopeful eyes staring back at him. Ian knows the answer, he doesn't even have to ask. In his heart, he knows exactly what Mickey would say.</p><p>“Yes. Of course. Which hospital are you at?”</p><p>Ian reaches for Mickey’s phone in his front pocket, typing the address into the maps app, and waits for the estimated time to appear.</p><p>“We’re twenty minutes away. Traffic depending.”</p><p>“I’ll see you soon.”</p><p>Ian hangs up. He once again stares at his phone, making sure it wasn’t a hallucination. His medication adjustment has had him stable for a month or so now, but considering the whirlwind they have been through, he can’t be too sure. When he looks up, Mickey’s eyebrows are raised, waiting more patiently than if it was Ian waiting for Mickey to tell him what just happened.</p><p>“We’ve been matched. She-she’s having the baby now.”</p><p>“Like, right now?”</p><p>“Yes!”</p><p>“Holy fuck.”</p><p>Ian turns to find Veronica dancing away with Kevin. He pulls her in for a hug, catching her by surprise.</p><p>“You look beautiful. Today was great, but we got to go.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Ian lets her go and gives Kevin a quick hug.</p><p>“Go where?”</p><p>“To the hospital.”</p><p>Confusion is written all over Kev and V's face.</p><p>“We’re about to become parents.”</p><p>Mickey is standing at the exit, waiting for Ian to catch up to him. The smile Mickey gives Ian says it all. Love. Excitement. Happiness. The day they thought they would have to spend months waiting for is finally here.</p><p> </p><p>Jumping in the car, Ian gets behind the wheel and pulls the maps back up on Mickey’s phone. Siri starts to direct Ian where to go, as he pulls out of the car park and onto the main road.</p><p>“What did she say?” Mickey's on edge. He wants to know exactly what Amanda said, word for word, needing every detail burned into his brain to help him separate reality from a dream. </p><p>“Just that we’ve been matched and the mother is in labour.”</p><p>“That’s it?”</p><p>"Yep. She said something about explaining more when we got there but, it’s not like we needed time to decide, you know.” Ian turns to Mickey, hopeful that the decision he made for the both of them, was in fact the right one.</p><p>“Right. But I mean, talk about leaving things to the last minute.”</p><p>Siri instructs Ian to take the next exit.</p><p>“Fuck. The car seat?” Ian looks in the rearview mirror and remembers how Mickey took it out before they drove to the clinic. Not wanting Ian to see that reminder.</p><p>“Shit. I’ll message Lip. He can drop it off and we can install it before we come home.”</p><p>Mickey takes Ian’s phone since his is being used and shoots a message off to lip. He keeps it short and to the point, figuring V has already shared the news with everyone. Mickey reaches over and takes Ian’s hand. To say he isn’t nervous would be a lie, but he isn’t nervous that he is about to become a father, he’s nervous that Ian is still healing from the last adoption falling through. To be called again, so quickly with no time to process or adjust, Mickey just wants to make sure Ian is mentally prepared for this.</p><p> </p><p>They arrive at the hospital five minutes quicker than Siri estimated since Ian broke every speed limit he was faced with. Following the signs for the maternity ward, he parks the car and steps out to give Amanda a call.</p><p>“Ian?”</p><p>“Yeah, we’re here. Where do we go?”</p><p>“Come to the fifth floor. I’ll be at the elevator waiting.”</p><p>Two men in suits, rushing through a hospital, it’s a sight the staff are no doubt used to seeing. Ian and Mickey reach the elevators, the wait for the doors to open is enough to make them consider taking the stairs. Finally, they hear the ding and watch the doors open in front of them. They rush inside, hitting the number five and the close door button before anyone else can step inside.</p><p>“Ian?”</p><p>Taking his eyes off the flashing numbers on top of the door, Ian turns to his husband.</p><p>“Breathe. This is it. I can feel it. Everything is going to be okay. But I want you to be okay as well.”</p><p>He exhales. Stepping towards Mickey, he cups his face and breaths in his scent. Mickey’s natural smell seeped through his nostrils, covering the sterile smell of a hospital and instantly calming him.</p><p>“I’m okay. I promise.” He plants a tender kiss on Mickey’s lips.</p><p>“There is no other person I’d rather be doing this with than you, Mick.” Ian can feel Mickey’s smile against his lips.</p><p>The elevator dings. They exchange a quick kiss on the lips one more time before they have to pull apart as the doors open on them. Amanda is waiting, just like she said she would be, smiling from ear to ear when she sees them step out onto the floor.</p><p>“Did we make it?”</p><p>“Yes. You haven’t missed anything. Charlotte is currently nine centimeters dilated.”</p><p>Amanda notices the suits Ian and Mickey are wearing.</p><p>“I didn’t interrupt something did I?” Using her hands to motion to their outfits.</p><p>“Wedding. But don’t worry, it was their second one so, no big deal.”</p><p> </p><p>She walks them down a corridor. Mickey never liked hospitals, nothing good ever came from them. But this floor, this floor was full of life. Hope. Promises of a future, a family. Mickey can't help but notice the other families waiting around for the announcement of a new family member. Excited to finally be one of those people, Mickey smiles as he turns to Ian, seeing the same look of excitement on his face. Amanda motions for them to take a seat on some white chairs situated outside of a room, Ian realising that their match must be getting taken care of behind the door. They sit down. Mickey takes Ian’s hand and they wait to hear further information from Amanda.</p><p>“Charlotte had chosen you both to be the adoptive parents of her child. Unfortunately, by the time she returned the paperwork, you had already been matched with Beth.” Amanda waits a moment, remembering how upsetting it was for everyone involved when Beth had decided she no longer wished to put her child up for adoption.</p><p>“Charlotte selected a second family who contacted me yesterday to say they no longer were interested in adopting. Their marriage was on the rocks and they were hoping a child would solve things. Thankfully they came to their sensors and decided a divorce was more appropriate.”</p><p>Amanda shakes her head. She has seen it time and time again, couples, families, always thinking when times are tough they should bring a child into the mix. Nine times out of ten they are wrong and it’s the child that ends up suffering.</p><p>“When I called to inform Charlotte that her match had fallen through, I told her that your application was back in the system. She told me that she would bring the paperwork over straight away, but she never made it to my office. Instead, I got the phone call that said she was in labour. Paperwork is in her bag, I've looked it over and although it's not in the system yet, that is a solid enough contract for me to be able to call you both with the news.”</p><p>Ian and Mickey simultaneously squeeze each other's hands. It was fate. This child was always meant to be theirs.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> From day one Charlotte had selected them and although there were bumps in the road, it still came back to Charlotte's child and them.</span></p><p>A nurse suddenly steps out of the room, six eyes looking straight at her, anxiously waiting for an update.</p><p>When the nurse takes a moment before speaking, Ian and Mickey rise, noticing that she’s hesitating. Amanda stands up beside them, but the nurse is wary of these two men that are suddenly beside her.</p><p>“Are one of you the father?”</p><p>“No, no. We’re the adoptive parents.”</p><p>The nurse is once again silent, obviously withholding information.</p><p>“What’s going on?” Mickey speaks up, trying to hold back his frustration with the way the nurse is trying to keep them in the dark.</p><p>“I’m afraid the baby has breeched. The child is now in distress and we need to perform an emergency cesarean.”</p><p> </p><p>The nurse turns her attention to Amanda who gives a nod, understanding what needs to be done. Ian steps forward, making his way towards Charlotte's room when the nurse steps in front of him.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Sir. You’ll have to wait out here since you’re not family. Until the paperwork is final, that baby still belongs to the mother and I can’t let you see either of them until then.”</p><p>Ian wants to fight back. He feels Mickey squeeze his hand and he stops, calming himself to take a moment and think rationally. In that room is a girl, a woman, mother, who is most likely scared. To suddenly have two strangers walk in, coming across like they care only for the child and not her own wellbeing would not be a wise choice. And unfortunately, like before, Charlotte still has seventy-two hours to change her mind, even if Ian and Mickey left the hospital today with a child.</p><p>“Are they going to be okay?” Ian asks the question, making sure he lets the nurse know that he cares about both the mother and the child.</p><p>“If we get them to surgery quick enough, they’ll both be fine. Excuse me.”</p><p>They nod their head in understanding, but it’s still hard to hear. Ian and Mickey have been in this position before, thinking they are at the finish line, only to be tripped up and held back as someone else crosses the line and takes the prize from their hands.</p><p>The nurse leaves, rushing to get the doctor and prepare the surgical room.</p><p>“I need to go and be with Charlotte. There is a waiting room down the hall. I’ll come find you both when it’s time.”</p><p>“Yeah, um, okay.”</p><p>Before she opens the door, Mickey grabs her attention.</p><p>“Amanda? How-how sure is Charlotte? You know, about…”</p><p>Her smile is small, soft. Enough to show she understands what Mickey is asking of her.</p><p>“Charlotte is only sixteen years old. She isn’t ready to be a mum. She chose you both, knowing you will be able to give her child the life they deserve. The one she can’t offer it.”</p><p>Amanda walks into the room, leaving them in the hallway with nothing else to do but wait. Mickey gives Ian’s hand another squeeze.</p><p> </p><p>They walk towards the waiting room, hand in hand drawing strength from each other's touch. They take off their suit jackets, laying them on a third chair as they take a seat in two empty chairs in the corner.</p><p>“Hey, it’s going to be okay.”</p><p>“Do you know what it means if a baby is breeched, Mick?”</p><p>“Well, no. But I figured if they caught it in time, then everything is going to be okay.”</p><p>“It means the baby is coming out feet first. It means the head can get trapped, causing suffocation due to the umbilical cord getting-”</p><p>“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Ian. Stop. Hey, look at me.”</p><p>Mickey puts his hand under Ian’s chin, turning his head so Ian can meet Mickey’s eyes with his own. Ian’s spiraling, picturing the worst-case scenario because he’s wanting to prepare himself. Mickey has seen this time and time again with Ian. When he’s scared of believing something is too good to be true, he tells his brain the worst has already happened, lessening the pain he’s expecting to feel.</p><p>“None of that is going to happen. Do you hear me? The nurse caught it before Charlotte began to push. Everything is going to be okay.”</p><p>Ian’s eyes fall to his hand. He's spinning his wedding ring. An indication of the anxious feeling he is trying to keep at bay. Distract himself with a repetitive motion in the hopes that he’ll stay calm.</p><p>“I can’t go through it again. I can’t be this close and then have it taken away from us.”</p><p>Mickey’s fears are brought to life. Everything he suspected when driving over here is exactly how his husband is feeling. Who knew trying to start a family could be one of the most heartbreaking experiences they have ever had to endure together.</p><p>“Don’t think like that. It’s not going to happen. You heard what Amanda said, Charlotte chose us first. This baby, we’re meant to be their parents.”</p><p>Mickey wraps his arm around Ian’s shoulder, pulling him into his side so Ian can lay his head against his collarbone. They sit there in silence and wait. No one else is in the room beside them. They watch the TV aimlessly as it plays some Ninja Turtle movie on mute. Mickey actually gets caught up in the movie, thinking how he’ll have to watch it again at home with sound next time. That thought then leads him to realise that when they go home, it won’t just be them. They’ll have a child, a newborn, and the world of movies and sleep and sex will all be gone, replaced by feeding, changing, and caring for this little person. He smiles. The thought warming his heart. He will happily put everything aside to make sure his child is taken care of until the day he dies. Ian’s head is still resting on him. His eyes are closed but from the way he is breathing, Mickey can tell he's still awake.</p><p>“Mr. and Mr. Gallagher?”</p><p>Jolting up and out of their seats, Ian and Mickey turn to a woman in a white coat, patiently waiting to get their attention.</p><p>“Yeah-yes, that’s, that’s us.”</p><p>They collect themselves, picking up their jackets, and walk over towards the doctor.</p><p>“My name is Dr. Sawyer. I’ve been informed that you are both the parents Charlotte has selected to adopt her child, is this correct?”</p><p>“Yes.” Even their answers are in sync.</p><p>Ian reaches for Mickey’s hand. Dr. Sawyer smiles.</p><p>“Congratulations. The delivery went very well. There were no complications for Charlotte or the baby.”</p><p>A sigh of relief leaves both their mouths. Dr. Sawyer watches as they give each other a quick hug, smiling at the joy she has brought these two men.</p><p>“Would you like to meet your daughter now?”</p><p>Without letting each other go, their heads turn to the doctor, the words taking a moment to register.</p><p>“We-we have a daughter?”</p><p>“Mhmm. A beautiful baby girl weighing in at seven pounds.”</p><p>“Holy shit. Mick.” Ian looks back at Mickey, blue eyes meet green, both sets glistening with unshed tears.</p><p>Dr. Sawyer turns, indicating for them to follow her. They’re led down a corridor in the opposite direction they came from. The door is closed as Dr. Sawyer rests her hand on the handle, making sure Ian and Mickey are behind her before opening. They catch up, shaking legs leading them to the door that is about to change their lives for the better. They take a breath as Dr. Sawyer opens the door. The first thing they see is a young girl laying in bed, eyes tired but awake. She has deep blue eyes, brown hair, and smiles from ear to ear as Ian and Mickey walk through the door.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> Amanda is standing beside her, a cup of water in her hand as she places it back on a nearby table.</span></p><p>“Hey.” Charlotte whispers “I’m glad you didn’t miss the show.”</p><p>They laugh. Her joke breaks the ice. Neither of them knowing how to behave in front of this girl that has offered them the biggest gift life could ever give them.</p><p>“I’m Ian. This is my husband, Mickey.” Mickey raises his hand in a wave.</p><p>“You both look pretty dressed up for the birth of your child.”</p><p>“Ha, we ah, came straight from a wedding actually.”</p><p>“Oh shit. Sorry.”</p><p>“Don’t be. This, this is-” Ian is lost for words. He can feel them getting stuck in his throat, emotions running wild as reality sets in.</p><p>Charlotte turns her head to the left, her eyes landing on a plastic crib. She turns back to Ian and Mickey, making sure they followed her line of sight.</p><p>
  <span class="Apple-converted-space">Ian holds his breath as his eyes land on a swaddled baby.</span>
</p><p>“May we?” Ian’s voice breaks.</p><p>“Of course. She wants to meet her dads.”</p><p>Mickey's heart leaps into his chest at the way Charlotte calls him a dad. It's a name he never thought he would answer to, similar to husband or Gallagher. But he loves it. His chest swells and his body craves for the day his daughter says it for the first time, a moment he will cherish forever. </p><p>Carefully walking over to the crib, they look in to see a beautiful baby girl, swaddled in a light green blanket, wearing a purple knitted beanie on top of her head. She looks so peaceful, rugged up while she sleeps. Mickey thinks of how pure she is, how nothing in this world has tainted her, hurt her, and he is going to fight tooth and nail to make sure nothing and no one ever does.</p><p>“She’s perfect.”</p><p>“Yeah, Mick. She is.”</p><p>A nurse walks into the room, taking everyone's attention away from their sleeping angel.</p><p>“Sorry to interrupt, but it’s time to move you now, Charlotte.”</p><p>“Move? Is everything okay?” The EMT and carer in Ian cause him to panic.</p><p>“Everything’s fine. I’m just no longer a patient on the maternity ward. As of this moment, I’m just a regular girl healing from minor surgery. You’re now the parents.”</p><p>She smiles at them both. Ian can’t believe how calm and relaxed she is with the whole situation. Not only is she giving up her child but she just went through surgery in order to give Ian and Mickey the family they have so desperately been waiting for. The nurse unhooks the machines and takes the lock off the bed so it can be wheeled out of the room.</p><p>“Wait. I feel like saying thank you isn’t enough. What you did, we-”</p><p>“It’s fine.” Charlotte looks at these two men in front of her and she knows she made the right choice.</p><p>“I’m sixteen. I want to finish school, go to college. Even if I <em>can</em> do that with a baby, it’s not the life she deserves. My parents can barely afford to take care of me."</p><p>Charlotte feels like she can tell them anything, so she does. They deserve to know the story behind how their daughter came into this world.</p><p>"My best friend and I were drunk, he told me he was gay but wasn’t totally sure, so we had sex. He came out of it knowing he was gay, I came out of it pregnant.”</p><p>“Oh, wow.”</p><p>Charlotte laughs, noticing the way Mickey's eyebrows lift up to his hairline and the slight blush that appears on Ian’s face from her confession.</p><p>“I know. Anyway, when I read your file I just knew. You both get it. This life, this neighbourhood. But you didn’t let it define who you are. I didn’t want that either. The cliché teen mum that'll end up working at a diner for the rest of her life because she had to drop out of school to raise her kid. My time to be a parent will come, and when it does, I’ll be ready. Your time is now.”</p><p>She gives them both a warm smile as the nurse proceeds to push her bed out of the room. Amanda goes to follow behind, briefly stopping at the threshold.</p><p>"The paperwork has been filed. The hospital is in the process of organising a birth certificate in both of your names." She gives them a warm smile and leaves, following after Charlotte.</p><p>For the first time, it is just them and their daughter. <em>Their </em>daughter. She begins to fuss, a small wailing sound slowly escaping her lips. Without even thinking, Mickey picks her up and holds her. Ian watches as his husband cradles their little bundle of joy in his arms, surprised at how much smaller she looks now that Mickey is holding her. The way Mickey’s face lights up, smiling at her as she nuzzles into his chest, it's a smile Ian has never seen before. A smile saved just for her. </p><p>Ian walks towards him, standing behind Mickey, his left hand comes out to rest against their daughter's head. Ian thumbs at her forehead, the action moving the beanie back exposing a few strands of bright red hair.</p><p>“Is she?” </p><p>Ian removes the beanie. Beautiful ginger hair, as bright as the sun meets their eyes. It’s fair on either side of her head but the top has more than enough to run their fingers through it.</p><p>The sudden warmth taken from her head causes her to squirm. She cautiously begins to open her eyes, looking up at the person that’s holding her safe in their arms. Ian gasps as he notices her crystal blue eyes staring up at them.</p><p>Destiny. Fate. Whatever it’s called, Ian and Mickey never believed it until now. This baby girl looks like she is their child. No one could ever question that she wasn’t theirs. With hair like Ian's and eyes like Mickey's, there is no question that they were meant to be the parents of this beautiful little girl.</p><p>“I can’t believe it.”</p><p>“You said you wanted a little version of me running around.” Still looking down at their daughter, neither of them are able to pull their eyes away. She keeps her eyes open, no longer squirming as she takes in Ian and Mickey before her.</p><p>“What should we name her?” Mickey sways his arms a little, hoping the motion will help her close her eyes and go back to sleep. Ian places his hand gently on her head, his thumb softly stroking her forehead. He moves his right hand to Mickey’s lower back, wanting to have the two most important people in his life safely in his arms.</p><p>“Hope. We should name her Hope.”</p><p>“Hope.” Mickey lets the name roll off his tongue. He looks back down as she closes her eyes. Mickey takes it as a sign that she agrees with the name</p><p>“It’s all I’ve ever wanted, Mickey. For you and me to be a family. From the age of sixteen, I dreamt that one day you and I would have a child of our own. I never lost hope. And now, here we are. Married, with our beautiful baby girl, with her blue eyes and red hair, just like her daddies. All my hopes and dreams have finally come true.”</p><p>A tear rolls down Ian’s cheek. His smile catches it at the corner of his lips, happiness, and love being the only emotions he can feel running through his body.</p><p>"Hope Rosalie Gallagher.” Mickey smiles at the name.</p><p>“Rosalie?” Ian turns towards Mickey, taking his eyes off of their daughter for the first time since Mickey picked her up.</p><p>“Yeah, like the brightest flower that shines in the garden. That will be our girl.”</p><p>Ian leans in and places a kiss on Mickey’s temple. It’s perfect. She is perfect.</p><p> </p><p>Their bubble is interrupted with a small knock on their door. They both turn, Mickey only moving his head now that Hope has fallen back asleep, and are greeted with their family silently waiting to come in and meet the new addition to the family.</p><p>“Got your message about the car seat. Didn’t think I’d come alone did ya?”</p><p>Lip walks in. Debbie, Liam, Carl, Tami, Franny, and Fred all in tow. Ian is surprised to see that even Veronica, Kevin, Gemma, and Amy are walking in behind them.</p><p>“What are you guys doing here? It’s your wedding day.”</p><p>“Please, this is our second wedding. We couldn’t miss the arrival of the newest Gallagher.”</p><p>Everyone quietly crowds around them, taking in the sight of the baby girl in Mickey’s arms.</p><p>“Holy shit. She looks just like you two.”</p><p>“Even her nose looks like Mickey’s.”</p><p>“Yeah, and she’s got your ears, bro.”</p><p>“She’s beautiful.” Debbie picks Franny up so she can see her baby cousin.</p><p>“What’s her name?”<span class="Apple-converted-space"> Franny being the only one to think of asking the question.</span></p><p>Ian and Mickey look down at their daughter, smiling as they look up to meet the eyes of those around them.</p><p>“Everyone, meet Hope Rosalie Gallagher. Hope, meet your family.”</p><p>Mickey turns to his husband, tears glistening in his eyes. “I love you, so fucking much. And I love her.” Hope nuzzles further into Mickey’s chest, the smell of her dad calming her into a peaceful sleep.</p><p>Leaning forward, softly pressing his lips to Mickey’s, Ian puts all his emotions into that one kiss. Letting Mickey know just how happy he is in this moment.</p><p>“I love you too, both of you. More than anything.”</p><p>
  <span class="Apple-converted-space">Ian looks around the room at the people he holds close to his heart. As much as he enjoyed the short moment he and Mickey shared alone with their daughter before everyone arrived, it just wouldn’t have felt right not having his family here with him to celebrate. There are a lot of things Ian wanted out of his life that unfortunately didn’t work out for him, like West Point or joining the Army. Then there were the things he never wanted but ended up getting, like Monica’s genes and going to prison. But the one thing he did want out of life was a husband and a family. And if he was only ever going to be granted one of the many things he wanted out of life, he couldn’t ask for a better one than that. Mickey, Hope, and his siblings. His life finally felt whole again. He knows everyone in this room loves him, loves Mickey, and will love Hope. And in a world of darkness, love is the light that got Ian through it all. </span>
</p><p>Mickey bends down, gently placing a kiss on his daughter's forehead. It was at that moment that he realises he has never been happier. Family was always just a title for him. It never had any meaning behind it because his family didn’t actually care. They used him, beat him, and turned their backs on him the minute they learned the truth about who he was. But then he met Ian and he realised that family doesn’t have to be blood. Family is a title used for people that he could turn to in times of need. Family are those that he relies on to make him happy in times of sadness.</p><p>Now, standing in the hospital, it dawns on him that all the people who make him happy and help him when he needs it, are standing with him in this room. It hits him that they aren't all here for Ian either, they are here for him too. They are <em>his</em> family. They accept him, care for him, help and protect him. Everything Mickey’s own family never did. He looks down at his daughter, every fear he ever had, gone. Mickey has only had Hope in his life for less than an hour, but he couldn’t imagine a world without her in it. He knows she will be safe and loved by every single person in this room. His family. <em>Her </em>family.<br/>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>THEY GOT THEIR FAMILY! Welcome to the world, Hope Rosalie Gallagher. </p><p>I had the artwork commissioned by the talented @whatsaMattavich specifically for this fic. I cried when it was completed, the talent this girl has is out of this world.</p><p>I love writing this universe so much that I have so many ideas to keep it going. One-shots, multi chapters, I can't switch my brain off. So, subscribe, follow me on Twitter @halewolf24 for updates and please, be patient as I create more of this world to share with you all. </p><p>You can follow Ian and Mickey’s family adventures with Hope on Instagram @gallavich.family19</p>
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